5 4

This is as close to dating as I have gotten in a very long time. All of the Cis Lesbians I know believe sex at birth defines gender, with just about every social group I come across explicitly stating membership exclusively for Born Female. The hostility I found in most online dating communities caused me to delete all but this one account.

I had thought there would be the possibility of eventually finding a Trans Lesbian co-creative match, but setting aside with personality, values, and common creative interests and goals, I discovered that every profile I was matched with on OkCupid for instance had a racial preference that excluded me from serious consideration.

I have heard of Black Trans Lesbians, all over 40 years my junior, never anyone my generation and certainly no one that remotely shares my values, interests, or goals.

I have reached the point of exhaustion, where I would rather live in a foreign land where people naturally see me as Other, than to continually be viewed and treated as Other in the land of my birth by those I thought were my people, my tribe.

Muiren 4 Feb 2
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


Yeah, I also have my doubts about traveling abroad being a total solution. People can be very polite and pleasant as they hold you apart, but that is also not acceptance. There are haters and holier-than-thou judgmental people in every culture. There is clearly still a ton of prejudice on the trans issue, but that changes with education, exposure, familiarity. There are allies who get it here as in France, England, etc. There are also self-rightious bashers in all these places.
I think most importantly for happiness relating to human connection is to first seek peace and happiness with ourselves, not dependent on any others. Then look to nurture friendships patiently by "being" the kind of friend we'd like to have. Then lastly, don't shut our eyes to the prospect of romantic love, but consider it frosting, rather than the core of our emotional wellbeing. That way we don't feel so desperate or anxious about finding it or losing it again.

I am a 63 years old scientist and engineer. By training and practice I tend to think less in term of being right, and more in terms of being progressively less wrong. As the friends of Bill W. express it, progress not perfection. What have observed anecdotally at work is that while Europeans can be just as racist as Americans, they are far less likely to act out on that impulse than their American cousins. The same thing applies to tolerance, if not acceptance of LGBT folk.

@Muiren I wish you luck wherever you look. I found even as a white gay male (a relatively privileged demagraphic compared to black trans females), online dating sites as a whole can be a highly frustrating experience, with people misrepresenting themselves and long distance "likes" far more common than local ones.


Some of those lands have laws calling for execution of "other"...the grass is Not always greener!


Once upon a time I thought that birth gender mattered as well. I also thought I was a perfect Kinsey 6, mullets weren’t horrible, and men who held doors were sexiest. And then I grew up. Once your perspective shifts enough to recognize people for who they are and not “what “ they are (including the racial whats), you are open to a larger world, and it seems your perspective is there. I’m one who is also open to dating all kinds...but living where I do, I’m pretty limited. The point is: we are out there! If there is a you, there is someone like you.

Karuk Level 6 Feb 2, 2020

Do not despair. "We" have come along way & you are not alone in your feelings. Many of us from the movement for equality with the power elite have felt this frustration. Do visit other friendly countries. Do seek connection in places you may not have thought about. Do check out our Minority Heathen Group. We are all a minority in some manner.

Mooolah Level 8 Feb 2, 2020

I can remember when Gays and Lesbians were at odds in the 80's - I hate that in this day and age there's yet another frontier that needs to be conquered where things are polarized.

People don't need to be "born female" to be female.

No one is the "genital police" - that should be between you and a partner.

People need to figure this stuff out and knock it off with their superiority.

RavenCT Level 9 Feb 2, 2020

Shucks you beat me for the 2 points. =0}

Write Comment

Recent Visitors 27

Photos 247 More

Posted by snytiger6They really missed the double meaning there.

Posted by nifaunGood morning everyone

Posted by snytiger6You haven't eaten pizza until you have...

Posted by snytiger6Coming out

Posted by snytiger6Gay Pirates?

Posted by TCorCMHey everyone, what do you think of this picture?

Posted by Unicorn85My rainbow bed! I found these linens on the internet and I couldn't resist! I love colors!

Posted by TCorCMHey everyone, what do you think of this picture, sorry if it's grainy.

Posted by snytiger6He's such a drag queen...

Posted by snytiger6In memory of Harvey Milk...

Posted by snytiger6Does you family say a prayer before easting?

Posted by snytiger6Of course we gays dress well....

Posted by snytiger6If Trump were really a friend to the gays...

Posted by soobydoody607I had coronavirus! I was shocked when I heard it! But I had lung cancer before and shocked I survived it! I lifted weights took vitamins and such and the symptoms were mild but there are so many ...

Posted by snytiger6My apologies.

Posted by snytiger6Bottoms... and the quarantine.

  • Top tags#gay #video #transgender #friends #community #sex #DonaldTrump #gender #god #hope #LGBT #religion #religious #rights #relationship #world #nation #Christian #children #kids #queer #money #Atheist #hello #church #marriage #parents #wife #reason #Jesus #book #atheism #dogs #Catholic #republicans #laws #beliefs #Identity #Song #ComingOut #vote #films #movies #mother #Bible #Christians #youtube #holiday #sexuality #death ...

    Members 712Top