The Man Rules
Here are the rules from the male side.
These are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
You can either ask us to do something, Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong
and you say "nothing, "We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
3: I am not into sports. I like exploring on Sundays. I am already 60 and still have lots to see and do.
9: if you feel you are fat, I probably am too so lets work on it together.
13: Columbus (Colon) didn't ask for directions, he bought them for 2 boatloads of dark haired women and a rhubarb plant. The rhubarb plant has been tended and passed down in my family for ages and part of the clump brought to the US over a hundred years ago.
19: Some of us are not into sports, you can find other ways to get our attention
20: if she feels that she does not have enough clothes she probably hasn't found something she is comfortable in yet. Buy her something see-through and a tee shirt that says "I am with stupid". Odds are that she will wear the "I am with stupid" tee shirt a lot.
21: if she feels that she has too many shoes, take her for a walk in Diamond Head State Park in Oahu, then a walk on the beach before finding a nice dinner. Then you can buy her some sandals. See if she asks for shoes again walking beside you with her "I am with stupid" tee shirt.
loved this post maybe best thing seen on this site lmao
Why is it,Women can describe what your and she wore on your first date,and I can't tell you my breakfast from yesterday?
we remember stuff worth remembering only maybe. i like women I swear
Well, why is crying blackmail?
because men don't cry its our cryptonite
@metalhead222 , well.... Happy wife happy life? Sometimes it's hard to turn off crying? At least for a woman.
Some women use it as a tool to get their way, much as children. It can be a form of manipulation
@zorialoki erm. Don't date those women. " the women I date are all manipulative!"
Maybe don't date manipulative women duh
@Blindbird I was explaining why crying is blackmail, not stating I was or would date them. I don't need the drama and avoid it as much as possible
Posted by backtobasicsWords to live by
Posted by backtobasicsHow the Puritans Thanksgiving should have gone.
Posted by glennlabLeave the kids alone.
Posted by mistymoon77Get your mind out of the gutter.. just passing along some tidbits of knowledge here.. ;)
Posted by KilltheskyfairyI like it! Also good way to use churches that are closed for 6 days!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyWhat up with that?
Posted by glennlabLet's give peas a chance.
Posted by backtobasicsThe shortest distance between two points is a straight line... Unless you are traveling on a the surface of a sphere.
Posted by bookofmoronsGoing for Level 9. maybe this road will help
Posted by glennlabDeath is nature's way of telling you it is time to slow down.
Posted by glennlabOctober's PSA
Posted by glennlabWe haven't had any pot posts in awhile
Posted by bookofmoronsWhen a picture is worth a thousand words
Posted by noworry28Evangelicals and Conservative Christian Nationalists today.
Posted by glennlabMy heart goes out to those suffering in the wake of both the recent hurricanes, Will the idiots that don't want to help stop lying.
Posted by glennlabGood old Betty calling a spade a fucking shovel.