It's painfully obvious to me that it's a non-standard nachos. For most of us, nachos are cheese dip and corn chips.If life has been good to us, there's a slice of a jalapeno on each chip. Nacho grande includes additional stuff like seasoned hamburger meat, peppers, onions, jalapenos, etc. However this version the gal put American cheese slices (purest point out that type of cheese isn't cheese) on top of saltine crackers, put it in the microwave long enough for the cheese to get molten.

On the third Budweiser it'll taste pretty good. Two more beers and pickled pig's feet will taste like a delight to be savored. What's a drink without a nosh?

Be lavish with the surplus question marks if life has never been that grim for you. Lordie, drinking Bud?

@WonderWartHog99 For most of us down southwestern USA way, nachos are some form of corn tortillas that have been cut into wedges and deep fried then put into a basket or large bowl and covered with shredded cheddar and to which might be added jalapenos, sour cream, chopped onions and cooked hamburger. The chips are not microwaved and it must be served with at least one somewhat sparky salsa, preferably two or three progressively hot salsas. No Bud needed to wash them down. What we have in the picture is a fucked-up travesty. All that being said, if you are high on some herbal and/or chemical stimulant, it might actually look like nachos to you and at that point you can easily convince yourself it is nachos and your girl is a Michelin chef.

@SiouxcitySue >easily convince yourself it is nachos and your girl is a Michelin chef.

Sad to say my romantic entanglements always want me to do the cooking. I make the standard nachos you describe. Petunia keeps scouring the newspaper for deep discount pizza when she tires of my cooking, often dragging me off to restaurants that have "buy one, get one free."

It's hand made guacamole night this Wednesday.

@WonderWartHog99 guacamole pizza??

@SiouxcitySue She doesn't have a pizza coupon for Wednesday. Culinary heathen that she is she wants chopped cherry tomatoes in her guacamole, extra finely minced cilantro, freshly squeezed lime juice, insanely finely minced raw garlic, coarsely chopped avocado . . . .

Once I made it for her at home and she learned what it was, it became her favorite side item at Mexican restaurants. They introduced her to variations on my theme. Since a large bowl of home prepared guacamole is way cheaper at home, she wants it as a main course.

I prefer Thai food. Sadly there aren't any nearby oriental grocery stores nor easily available Thai restaurants. The horror!

@WonderWartHog99 I like your recipe but a main course? Not a fan of Thai except I do like some of their spices. Have you ever tried using Thai spices in the guacamole? Do you think Petunia might like it? Something to ponder.

@SiouxcitySue >Have you ever tried using Thai spices in the guacamole?

Typical Thai spices include fresh cilantro, shallots and Kaffir lime leaves. Those wouldn't be that big of a leap. However Thai flavors like shrimp paste, peppercorns, lemon grass, coriander, fermented fish sauce, galangal and chilies would totally ruin guacamole.

>Do you think Petunia might like it?

No.

She'd gag on the shrimp paste and fermented fish sauce in her guacamole. Most of the spices would ruin the dish. BTW, I have had to grow lemon grass because it's unavailable here. I have yet to find a galangal root. It's close cousin, ginger, is next to impossible to grow here.

Insignificant detail: she's packed the pantry with ramen noodles, which she won't eat.