Here's a classic:
Two guys are out in the woods hunting when one of them falls to the ground. His eyes are rolled back in his head and he doesn't appear to be breathing.
His buddy takes out his cell phone and immediately calls 911. Gasping, he says to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
"Take it easy and calm down," the operator says in a calm voice. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence and then a shot is heard. The guy comes back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
source: [jokebuddha.com]
Reminds me of a true story: I was in bed with my ex, early morning, we were both awake but not really stirring yet. I had a heart attack & shook then went still. She got out of bed, ran to my side & called 9-1-1. They asked her if I was breathing. She answered that she couldn't tell as I was on my side facing away from her. They told her to roll me over. She did & rolled me out of bed & bang! on the floor. She related this to 9-1-1 & they replied, but is he breathing? I don't know, seemed funny when she related the story to me afterward! Obviously, I didn't die!
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