Murray the cannibal didn't like skinny women. He preferred them with a little meat on their bones.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Two cannibals were sharing a man. The first one said "How is it going"? The second answered "I'm having a ball". The first one said "You are eating to fast".

Murder Hornets!!

Eirteacher comments on May 7, 2020:

The Murder Hornets remind me of another Orange face asshole screwing up this country.

I know this is a repeat, but...

Eirteacher comments on Jul 29, 2018:

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

& no, I haven't named them,...I'm not THAT attached...

Eirteacher comments on Feb 12, 2019:

Sounds like a Montana joke.

So my daughter showed this to her therapist, who laughed for two full minutes, then asked my ...

Eirteacher comments on Sep 12, 2018:

Therapists have no sense of humor. But Abbys cool.

How to keep your man warm:

Eirteacher comments on Sep 15, 2019:

I need this for those cold Montana winters.

They took away my triangle!

Eirteacher comments on Oct 31, 2019:

I starter out playing the triangle.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his entire left side in an accident? He’s all right now.

Eirteacher comments on Mar 1, 2018:

Now he will never be left out.

Found on Craig's List

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

With a fine patina exterior. $28,000 or best offer.

& the sooner you understand this...

Eirteacher comments on Oct 10, 2018:

That is the going consensus with the ladies.

He's taking it pretty hard.

Eirteacher comments on Aug 18, 2018:

Now there is a cry for help.

I'd never have guessed.

Eirteacher comments on Jan 27, 2020:

Unlike Pence at least he came out.

Dilemmas...

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Well you could have waited three days but it nothing to lose your head over.

Well, that's no fun!

Eirteacher comments on Oct 3, 2018:

I ain't going there.

Mom knows ...

Eirteacher comments on Oct 7, 2018:

Parental support??????????????

Couples sweaters.

Eirteacher comments on Dec 17, 2019:

True love.

A classic...

Eirteacher comments on Jul 13, 2019:

Your hired.

My new motto....

Eirteacher comments on Sep 2, 2018:

That's disappointing news.

Well... I couldn't help it

Eirteacher comments on May 13, 2018:

My tongue just hit the floor.

You had me at Vixens.....

Eirteacher comments on Aug 13, 2018:

Give me an address and I'll be there.

Are you forgetful or easily distracted?

Eirteacher comments on Feb 15, 2018:

And you are just a young thing. You will do all right. Keep a note pad "Things to do." Trust me dear it helps. Ooooh! look at that shinny thing. Got to go.

I'm a dragon.

Eirteacher comments on Aug 9, 2018:

Well like they say, "eating ain't cheating."

Did you ever wonder?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 20, 2018:

This is one of the great scientific advancements in hood ornaments.

Home school marching band.

Eirteacher comments on Oct 23, 2018:

This guy told me he was having sex with his teacher and I thought cool. Then I found out he was being home schooled.

I can see that

Eirteacher comments on Jan 8, 2019:

But he got his legs amputated.

Zappa Wisdom

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Certainly is with this administration.

Tennis Ball Purchase

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

That's what you get when your password is "Who's a good boy?"

A camping necessity for the back woods ?

Eirteacher comments on Aug 14, 2018:

How thoughtful.

Or I need new glasses!

Eirteacher comments on Jul 13, 2018:

Ain't nobody calling him a pussy.

Classic...

Eirteacher comments on Jun 16, 2018:

What about the unicorns?

I smell 3, no 4, different....

Eirteacher comments on Jul 20, 2018:

Your such a goooood boy.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that...

Eirteacher comments on Jun 17, 2018:

They bake donuts. But do the bake wedding cakes for gays?

I'm a cat lover but currently have none...but this guy visits once in a while much to my delight.

Eirteacher comments on Oct 10, 2018:

He is a bum. But love him anyway.

Handy little shiv.

Eirteacher comments on Dec 12, 2018:

A candy cane shank.

I don't remember field trips like this...

Eirteacher comments on Apr 23, 2018:

Road trip for the Sex Ed class.

The Antichrist's mailbox.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 8, 2019:

You ask. Why does The Anti-Christ need two mail boxes? Well it's none of tour bees wax.

Start it trending on Twitter....

Eirteacher comments on Sep 2, 2018:

OK

I'm booing myself for this one...

Eirteacher comments on Oct 2, 2019:

I bought a portable tire pump.

Anti-Romantic

Eirteacher comments on Oct 25, 2019:

Rickie still has not recovered from his brutal divorce.

Well that's handy.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 17, 2018:

A tree with its own fertilizer deposit hole.

Think, before you puff, puff pass....

Eirteacher comments on May 19, 2018:

Amy turns into the big Dog

That night is goen start right now. :) Who's with me?

Eirteacher comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Tonights the night.

Photoshop is so handy.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 16, 2018:

Those thoughts and prayers are working.

..........

Eirteacher comments on Oct 13, 2019:

Please do not have children.

Way to make it all about you!

Eirteacher comments on Oct 21, 2018:

Thank you. I did get a hot breakfast every day in Navy. Better then eating C-rats in a mud hole.

Today could have been but I got lucky.

Eirteacher comments on May 12, 2018:

Does someone have the Mongolian recipe?

Girlfriend Calculations

Eirteacher comments on Jun 17, 2018:

When he get it figured out he promised they will get marred.

Dat ass though..

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

The ladies be saying "Big buts drive me nuts".

He always sends the best messages

Eirteacher comments on Jul 17, 2018:

Silver tongue devil.

Eager beaver's hilarious miscue

Eirteacher comments on Apr 23, 2018:

I am way over educated now.

Lotto Tickets

Eirteacher comments on Feb 26, 2018:

I was picked out of the crowd at Dirks field at a baseball game one night to pitch from the pitchers mound to home plate. Really hard if you aren’t in practice. I got three tries. The first went wild and the crowd booed me. The second two went right into the strike zone. And I got a good round of applause. I won some baseball cards and a ball cap. I thought it was cool.

Eirteacher comments on Jul 28, 2018:

The quick and the dead.

Back to the seventies.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 23, 2020:

That would be a challenge for any muffdiver.

Just a dude taking a poop. Nothing to see here.

Eirteacher comments on Oct 23, 2019:

He better put the seat down.

A misunderstanding.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 23, 2020:

I will have to save that for one of my waitress friends with a good sense of humor.

...Trashy.

Eirteacher comments on Aug 18, 2018:

It was quite a party until they got rowdy? We never did get her out of that head lock

Temple of Doom?

Eirteacher comments on Feb 11, 2019:

MMMMM Kool Aid

It's Sunday Bitches

Eirteacher comments on Jun 18, 2018:

And if you don't pay up, me and my Dad will send you to Hell.

Interesting....

Eirteacher comments on Oct 27, 2018:

Because it was hand delivered by the Postal Service.

Great idea....

Eirteacher comments on Oct 20, 2019:

She is still better than that orange lying daughter fucker.

What's your answer..lol

Eirteacher comments on Oct 1, 2018:

I just got kicked off of Jerpady

Its the weekend

Eirteacher comments on Aug 13, 2018:

She puts the moan in Mona Lisa.

You guys need to read this.

Eirteacher comments on Mar 1, 2018:

Odin the Norse God promised to get rid of all the Ice Monsters. He kept his word. How many Ice Monsters have you seen lately?

Arnold and His Flock

Eirteacher comments on Apr 19, 2018:

Must be a spring fresh menthol.

Corporate merger

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

That just makes her popular.

Blue-green or turquoise. ?

Eirteacher comments on Aug 9, 2018:

Camel toe green.

Chalk another one up....

Eirteacher comments on Aug 28, 2018:

Close enough for Wally World

🤔🤔 What type is he?

Eirteacher comments on Aug 22, 2019:

I would have said Oh, Oh, Oh

A guy is driving down a straight country road doing 60.

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

That's funny. I kicked the slats out of my crib the first time I heard that one. The old ones are the best ones.

Things I wanna eat at Wendy's.

Eirteacher comments on Jul 8, 2018:

I like the bite size buns.

Hefty, hefty, hefty.

Eirteacher comments on Oct 11, 2018:

Should have never borrowed on that hamburger.

Beats being probed...

Eirteacher comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Makes me want to join the space force.

One more about the old douche bag

Eirteacher comments on Jun 20, 2018:

I had some republicunt on this site bad mouth me for calling him an orange douchebag.

The last one I gotta start doing!

Eirteacher comments on Feb 2, 2020:

Good way to get rid of that shit.

He has a lot of good quotes, but this is a favorite!

Eirteacher comments on Jul 17, 2018:

He forgot Unicorns.

A solid opening question.....

Eirteacher comments on Aug 18, 2018:

No! But I have the time.

Who would of thunk it????

Eirteacher comments on Jul 23, 2019:

What car?

Oh oh, someone's in trouble... again.

Eirteacher comments on Oct 11, 2018:

I loved my Grandma but she never turned me on.

Soylent Green?

Eirteacher comments on Oct 21, 2018:

For that cannibalistic side.

Have any of you shared this site on Facebook?

Eirteacher comments on Aug 11, 2018:

I tried to share a few comments and memes on Facebook but it didn't download right.

It's hard to be normal

Eirteacher comments on Apr 27, 2018:

And the cowgirl said "I'm wise to the rise in your Levis."

Garlic improves everything

Eirteacher comments on Oct 6, 2019:

I don't care as long as they are not inbread.

What,what?

Eirteacher comments on Dec 15, 2018:

Wahle of a tail. https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-pty-pty_email=yhs-pty_email=pty&p=whale+of+a+tail+song#id=1=3a07634d6d7db9e7ce95122c5589f626=click

Unfortunately this is often true

Eirteacher comments on Jun 20, 2018:

That's why I don't get into situations.

Just one more

Eirteacher comments on Oct 3, 2018:

His sister is "Old lady who".

Who took this picture of me on vacation?

Eirteacher comments on Oct 27, 2019:

tRumpo's stunt double.

What are your top three war movies?

Eirteacher comments on May 10, 2018:

Viet Nam War The Deer Hunter Apocalypse Now Full Metal Jacket Korean War Manchurian Candidate MASH WWII Band of Brothers Guns of Navarone The Longest Day WWI Sargent York All Quiet on the Western Front African Queen Civil War Glory Red Badge of Courage Gettysburg

..... and repetition.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

The ship could have been named Eileen,

Steve Buscemi?

Eirteacher comments on Jul 8, 2018:

Handsome

True that.

Eirteacher comments on Feb 22, 2019:

My favorite answer is "If we don't sin. Hey-sues died for nothing.

Should be called "F_cking" nut because if it gets loose you're f-cked.

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

This is why we should not bust a nut for Jesus.

Which Holidays if any have meaning to you and why, Which have no significance to you whatsoever.

Eirteacher comments on Feb 15, 2018:

I voted for Memorial Day and the Forth of July. I think it is always good to remember those who have past. The Forth is good because it is a summer time holiday and a lot of fun things are going on. Like rodeos and races. Being a Navy veteran, it is important to me that we should always remember the thise who gave their lives in the service of our country.

Impossible standards.

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

Come on where are the lady comments.

But wait, there's more!

Eirteacher comments on Nov 6, 2018:

The old farmer told me. "I feed oats to the horse. Then the pigs would eat the horse shit. Then chickens would eat the pig shit. Then they would use the chicken shit for fertilizer on the oats. That way we could feed three animals from one good crop of oats. Now that's no bullshit."

What is your best comedy movie ever?

Eirteacher comments on May 8, 2018:

Blazing Saddles

Nursery rhymes

Eirteacher comments on Oct 12, 2018:

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. When she bent over, Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own.

Pizza delivery

Eirteacher comments on Oct 23, 2019:

That's why Papa Johns sucks.

Some days, i am this light.

Eirteacher comments on Dec 28, 2019:

No matter how tough it gets. Just do your job.

Dem bones dem bones

Eirteacher comments on Jun 20, 2018:

I'm glad he didn't say boner loss.

It has to be the mustache

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2020:

Walter was very attractive.