What answer would satisfy you? And what makes you think any sort of answer you'd accept could ever come from a god-botherer?

You have eloquently stated, in your own words, what is generally called the Problem of Evil and which I prefer to call the Problem of Suffering. It is logically impossible for a deity to be all knowing, all powerful and all good, and allow human suffering, particularly of the kind you're talking about. For a god to coexist with / allow suffering, one or more of those three attributes must be thrown under the bus. Attempts by believers to escape this logical problem is known as a theodicy. To avoid dealing with it, theists often come up with word salad about the need for god to respect free will. But there is really no way out of the conundrum for them. So you're never going to get a sound answer from them on it.

The explanation for what happened to you is that depraved, vile, disgusting people did depraved, vile, disgusting things to you, because that's what such people do. And it happens that they did it in the name of their imaginary sky wizard. This is popular because it allows people to behave in ways that otherwise would be seen as harmful, but they can use special pleading to claim that god told them to do it.

This may help you understand how the concept of "God" is processed. It may be worth watching the entire series. Dr. Valerie Tarico also has also written books.

What answers were you given before?

Of course there is no god, so that solves part of the question, the other part is that there are lots of assholes in the world. I didn't cop it quite so bad, my mother is a pious religious twit, my father a violent drunk. He almost beat me to death a couple of times since I was a toddler, both my parents burnt me and my mother slashed me once in a fit of stress. Was never taken to a doctor in case someone stepped in and took us from our parents. My mother fed me crap, it is Gods will, a wife must obey her husband, you must deserve it and so on. In my mind my father has been burning in hell for the past 21 years and my mother is soon to join him. We hear a lot these days about elder abuse. I think in some cases it is justified. If parents can beat kids for some perceived wrong doing, surely when kids are big enough, they can return the favour.
God may forgive, I don't!

It will all make more sense when you see it for what it is. Scared, , superstitious, sadists trying to ruin an innocent life because they think it will please their vengeful, sick, and scary imaginary friend. I'm sorry you had to endure that. I hope it has made you stronger and wiser. I also hope you find the peace you so desperately deserve. Please do whatever you can to remove yourself from that situation in the healthiest way possible. Even if that means severing all ties to those who have done those things to you, directly or indirectly. Life is too short to waste it on people who hurt you.

I'm so sorry to hear of the abuse practiced on you in the name of , and very happy to hear that you've been able to escape, although perhaps more in physical term than psychically.

From what you describe, it seems that you're expending energy searching for an explanation to offer some sort of rationalization for the barbarity was inflicted on you, a blameles child. After a childhood of emotional neglect and abuse at the hands of my father, I spent decades trying to win from him some sign of the approval of which I had been deprived (it wasn't until I'd entered my sixties that I was fianlly able to disengage and walk away once and for all). Like the rationalization you seek, his approval never materialized and never could.

From my own experience, I know that you will only be able to let go of the need for some understanding - even a hint of an answer to the question ? - when you are ready. But, as it took me a lfieteme, I truly hope that you come to a much earlier realization that investing time and energy in trying to address a situation not of your making and, in itself, devoid of rationality, is not unly futile, but keeps you enmeshed in the toxicity of the past.

Take good care of yourself.

There have never been any gods.
Bad things happen to people because there are others who just do evil things.
The blame lies with them, and them alone.

Either there is no God, or God exists, but is not worthy of worship.

That's... Troubling, for all kinds of reasons. It sets alarm bells ringing, as I'm sure you can imagine. I can't offer you any thoughts on the stuff you've described, but I sincerely hope you have been able to seek counselling to address it. If not yet, then do. Really make sure you do.

Simple answer, god(s) does not exist.