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I don't know why its becoming harder and harder to relate to people in US especially where women and men are involved. I am an organizer and been so for twenty plus years, and the US surely gives me more hope and opportunity to function my skills than other countries I have lived in, I don't dominate anyone. I am a good listener too. And most importantly, I offer,willingly the way for others to lead if that's what they want. I am not the kind of person who dictates anybody. In college,we are forced to work in teams, and my previous two teams that involved women,honestly were catastrophic. There was alot of anxieties and prejudices within the teams. I don't see race as a factor in this. We ended up failing the first project,and I am sure, from the way things are,we are failing this one too. I pay my college out of pocket and it's now hitting my bones seriously. I work harder to make everything happen, I am getting impatient with people. What's wrong with society today? I hear a lot of people I have talked say it's cultural misunderstanding,but I think the problem is bigger than that. I need your help to understand this society,that I somehow love and want to be part of,yet I don't feel that political correctness or prejudice of whatsoever is helpful to make us function as communities ready to flourish.

Humanlove 7 June 9
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4 comments

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0

What behaviors in others are giving you the most concerns? How do you respond to them?

I think, communication. I think they tend to see me as someone who is offensive especially when they don't understand my pronounciations,that means teamwork skills becomes redundant and and resentment takes over.

@0752532706 O am sorry that the people you are trying to work with stigmatize your pronunciation differences, causing them to become barriers. Let me suggest that you ask those people what might help your communications, emphasizing that you have much to learn from them and that you would like for your relationship to be mutually beneficial.

@0752532706
May I ask which US university you are attending? That might explain a great deal.

@hemingwaykitten I am an 81year old man who grew up in rural south Georgia and north Florida. I have also lived in Illinois and Kansas, and have travelled to 51 of our 50 states. I have not been a part of a college or university community for over 40 years.

@wordywalt
My comment was addressed to the OP.

@hemingwaykitten Sorry.

1

I never have had much luck working in teams with most women. In my experience, women are far more judgemental of other women than of men. Women I have had the displeasure of working with on team projects have been generally dismissive, catty, backstabbing bitches who care less about a project grade than dominating the group.

I find that a in mixed gender group project, both sexes behave better than when segregated by sex. Men and women are both competitive, but my experience with female only teams tells me they are more likely to let the entire endeavor go pear-shaped rather than allow one dominant woman to get over on another. Even all male teams, while not ideal, will pull a project together well enough to pass rather than repeat it due to a failing grade.

Your experiences may vary from mine, as this is my opinion only. I work best alone or in mixed gender teams. Even as the only woman on a team, the outcomes of team projects have always been better for me than on a team of all women.

I do not find your experiences unusual. I differ from the majority of American women on several norms: I am childfree, agnostic, and I sincerely enjoy working with men. I prefer conversational topics on politics or social mores or humorous content, rather than food and children and man-bashing. I believe this often leaves me out of the loop in female only teams and makes finding common ground awkward.

I am a liberal, but still very glad I am older and less inclined to put politically correct interaction above all other group activities. Even as I love and praise smart, focused members of the Millennials and Gen Z, I believe there are far too many unfocused students in the 20s and 30s at present who are expert at playing up their own victimization, yet sorely lacking in social skills. If you're attending an American university from abroad, I feel you are not seeing us at our best. The last couple of generations often have had parents fighting their battles since birth. Current university students have been noted by academics and psychologists as having a lack of resilience and a dependence on parents which previous generations did not experience. In short, American students are taking longer to become adults and are not prepared for the challenges of university life at the same age as previous generations.

I agree with you,the only difference is,most of the students are actually my age,some are even older than me.

0

That sounds like a right-wing rant and you're blaming women in some way.

I am blaming nobody, but you have a right to form your own opinion.

3

I read your profile and it is fascinating. I am sorry things are so difficult for you here in the U.S. Many of us living here are asking the same questions. It is a very difficult and divisive time in our country and many of us are recognizing that the ability to work across lines doesn't seem to exist anymore. It is beyond a cultural problem. It is almost a sickness

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