Old residue from when I was younger.

Not at all! I am so damn good-looking and attractive!

All my life, people have criticized me for being too skinny. Seventh grade was torture. I was puberty-delayed. When I entered science class, boys sang loudly:

"She's a carpenter's dream...flat as a board!"

"She's a pirate's dream... a sunken chest!"

They collapsed on the floor, laughing loudly. That's when I developed dignity and good posture. Back straight, shoulders back and head high, I icily ignored them. Visualized a trap door swallowing them.

Through high school, I dated one boy who was a year older. Our 10-year high school reunion in Michigan was great. Those same guys hung all over me, moaning, "You were the prettiest girl in high school! Why didn't you ever date any of us?" I had an older, more mature boyfriend, I replied and smiled.

As an adult, heavy women say hurtful things: "Only dogs like bones... Men want soft women with more to grab onto... You have a stick figure." Ouch.

I still feel insecure about my little body.

Photos:

1. Age 12 with my little sister, 7. Heavily padded swimsuit top.

2. Age 26, high on a ridge in the Olympic Mountains, WA.

3. Age 62.

You ever see those Greek Gods with those little peckers? I can't win...lol.

I do. I grew up being told I’m too fat, I’m ugly. There’s always something wrong to be pointed out. I’ve learned to hate parts of myself. I’m doing much better now although now and again I would have a breakdown and I can’t even get out and be in public. I will be visiting my parents for the next few days. I worry my mother would pick something on my person to say something negative about. For me it’s not just “shame”; I’m actually terrified people would notice my imperfect parts and laugh at me.