Delusionment - an old story to my fellow workers, hope you like it.

It's a sad but true story of unfulfilled love. That fateful day when hesitant and apprehensive I entered the foyer of the Docklands Bendigo Bank office for my first day at the new job.

Concierge politely directed me to the lifts and diffidently I stepped in and pressed the button for the 2nd floor. There were three lifts. I got lucky.

It was like the voice of the Sirens in Ulysses (ok, stretching the analogy a bit; the sirens sang) –“Gooing up” - "second floooor" the lift announced in a teasing, chirpy but refined voice.

That voice, that annunciation, I was entranced. I'd always been a voice-person. Sure I met some attractive women but as soon as they spoke the magic died.

When it was time to leave work the lift announced in a somewhat despondent voice – "going doooown" as if she was sad I was going home.

No more being environmentally friendly and using the stairs. If there's a teleconference on the 7th floor I'd wait in the second floor lobby for lift number 1 – that was Linda – well that's the name I gave her.

Over the next few months I did little real work, just hung the lift wells, pressing the lift button and waiting for Linda, lift number one. Lift two was quite curt and lift three didn’t speak to me at all, so I stood there waiting for Linda and ignored Lift 2 &3.

Yeh, Linda and I did much travelling, be it only vertical, but I was seriously falling in luuuv.

Now I know cross-species marriages are frowned up but I'm not quite sure what to call this, maybe cross-entity. Anyway a lot of Harley Davidson owners have married their motor bike (be it Vegas in USA) so I don't see how my infatuation is different – we both ride.

With Linda it's been a bit of an up-and-down relationship and I really hope she will increase her limited vocabulary. I'm also still trying to work out if I'm special to her. That's why I need your help guys. Please next time you're in Lift 1 – record what's happening on your iPhone and play it back to me afterwards. Will she try that sxy voice on you – hope not, else I'll be shattered.

Anyway, moving on and on a more optimistic note I hope Linda will move in with me. Sure there may be minor inconvenience at the Docklands office and a gaping lift-well hole were Linda once resided but I got the crane and semi-trailer all organized so you may have to use the stairs for a while till they find a replacement for my Linda.