Person 1: What can I have with an avocado?
Person 2: Have some Canadian bacon. You like that with it.
Person 1: Nah, it’s frozen.
Person 2: Thaw it out.
Person 1: Nah, I’d have to thaw out the whole package.
Person 2: Have some of my turkey bacon then. It’s in the fridge.
Person 1: Nah, doesn’t sound good.
Person 2: Have it on bread.
Person 1: Nah, I’d have to add lettuce and tomato with it.
Person 2: No, just have avocado toast. Toast up some crusty bread, spread on some butter, and put sliced avocado on top. It’s delicious.
[Person 1 makes a face]
Person 2: I mean, you already put it on a sandwich anyway. It’s really good on toast. You can put some cheese on it, too.
Person 1: Nah, I already had too much cheese today. I feel like something… bacon-ey. Oh, we got any sausage in the freezer?
Person 2: No. Hey, listen, go out and slaughter a pig if you want bacon that much.
Person 1 [after a pause]: Okay, maybe I'll try it [the avocado toast]. What type of bread do I use?
Person 2: Anything crusty. You can even put it on a bagel or an English muffin. You like English muffin.
Person 1: Do I slice the avocado or mash it?
Person 2: Either way. I wind up slice-mashing it because I can't slice it that well. Tastes good either way.
Can’t make this stuff up.