I won't let them win. The sweetest revenge is surviving, and flourishing, despite the set backs. Sometimes when I'm forced to reflect on the totality of the negative things I've endured, I think it's just so unfair. But then I remind myself that I am indeed a Bad Ass and laugh. Currently I'm eating all my feelings, but I'll bounce back.

Life is struggle, it's the moments that make it worth while. You never know which moments or when they come.

Me, I learned a long time ago to love me and that at the end of the day people do care but I'm the only one that can have any true effect on my life. Where I wanna go what I wanna do and what I accomplish in life is based on my actions alone............hope I'm not getting to deep but I tried to overdose myself a long time ago. I wrote a letter for my mom apologizing for my decision, and gave. Her my bank info. Luckily I woke up the next morning, before anyone else and I threw the note away. That whole day at work I contemplated about why am I still here, and I realized why. Up until that point I wasn't living for me, most of my earnings went to help everyone else and I wasn't getting anywhere in life. I WASN'T living for me. That night it changed, I decided to live for me. From that point steadily my life has gotten better. My goals, my aspirations, and my past accomplishments keep me moving. My future keeps me going,.

Some days it is tough as hell, and today was one of those days. For me, I keep going cuz I want my kids to be proud of me, to set an example for them and for the grandbabies. After bit I'm going to go have a sweet alcoholic frozen drink that is in my freezer as an impulse purchase (I did not notice the 42 grams of sugar when I bought it!!! ) And I might have some other relaxing activities, wallow in my misery for a bit, and then hope I sleep good and get up and try again tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, maybe a miracle will happen. Probably not, but maybe, hopefully it will be better than today. And hell, tomorrow is Friday, if it goes to hell like today did then at least I have the weekend to recoup.

I find listing my options to be somewhat helpful. As long as you have a life, there is something you can do with it.

Things that have always been on my list that I've never gotten to yet;

Employment on a cruise ship (as a janitor probably)

Merchant marine.

Wandering landscaper

Traveling ranch hand (janitor that can rope a steer)

Certification as a windmill maintenance mechanic

Welder

Millwright (jack of all trades for a factory).

Plumber (janitor with a wrench)

Septic tank maintenance (somebody has to do it)

Mortician

You get the idea, there's always something you can do to live. Making enough to hold on to stuff .... Yeah, well that's a personal complication we all have.

But throw on top of that something I learned from the experience of watching others. ... If you know enough to BS your way into a job you don't know how to do, by the time the boss figures out that's what you did, you will know how to do the job. It's amazing, I've never done that, but I've seen it happen enough times to know it is true.

Good luck!!

After almost 60 years, I expect it, but I fight back these days.

I accept that it's a part of life. I treat myself and others with kindness. I do the best I can, do what I can do and leave the rest.

Other people have their issues, that doesn't affect my view of myself. When I accepted the views others had of me, I was miserable.

I have told myself that I will pick myself up just once more that I have been knocked down. I am 70. It has worked so far.