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Would you befriend a felon? Why or why not? I personally have friended a few. With the exception of ONE, they are all bad news. Does the judicial system make them worse? Or are they "just that way"? I like trying to help people, but some people can not help themself, if they don't want to be helped. Pleas tell me if you would, and why. I will disclose more info once I get some opinions.

TheGreatShadow 9 June 15
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18 comments

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1

Yes I will. I've been social distancing all my life. That being said I really don't get close to people.
I work with a woman who is a convicted felon. The only reason I know is because it bothers her and she regrets it.
Sometimes a person may do something foolish at a young age and never do it again. Who am I to hold it against them? That is something that needs to be looked at in our system. Basically the people are blacklisted from decent jobs. It shouldn't be a life sentence.

Unity Level 7 June 2, 2020

Wow, I made that post a long time ago! Out of over a half a dozen people that I befriended that were felons, only ONE turned his life around. He got 6 years for growing some pot. The others have done nothing but fuck me. That and they become smarter how to screw people over. One is back in prison, and people are blaming me for his incarceration. No, his 5 days in jail and 18 mons supervised probation did. This other assault charge plus resisting arrest and an illegal weapons charge has fuck all to do with me! I know he is planning something against me. So when he spends his 26-50 mons, he'll try something. I'll be ready. He has a way of manipulating people into thinking he is a good guy, and has turned some very long time friends against me. This is the way they are.

1

Criminal history wouldn't be the first thing I'd ask a new acquaintance, so can't say I'd knowingly make the choice.

Seriously though, there are a lot of good people and a lot of bad people and a whole lot of people who have both of the above. One does not need to have been convicted of a felony in order to be an evil person. The felons are just the unlucky ones. On the other hand, I am sure there are many felons who are decent people that had been involved in activities while they were not thinking right or were just plain young and dumb. I guess my answer would be that I wouldn't use the term "felon" to decide whether or not to befriend someone. I try to take peoplebased on their behavior toward me.

Prison? I think it hardens some people and breaks others. Current prison environments (in the US) don't seem to do much to help rehabilitate anyone. I am almost certain they do nothing to benefit a person's emotional well-being.

Yes, as I mentioned most of these people meet even worse prople, and learn how to rob a bank, or steal a car. I've know people before and after.

0

Both of the people I am talking specifically about went to prison for meth. He spent 12 years, and I think she spent 3. Their attitude is poor. This guy I am specifically talking about has a bad habit of bashing on my door in the middle of the night and won't leave until I answer. I stay away from him, but he just comes over. It got so bad that I ended up staying at my dad's house. He called the police on me twice. When I was at my dad's house, he reported me as missing! Sorry but there is no law saying I have to be at my house for any reason. The first time was because I was at his house, it was late and I didn't feel like cleaning up the back of my pickup! Two different policemen came in two different vehicles. He was calmed down by then. When they got there they talked to us seperately. We both had the same to say, and said everything was over. One of the police officers (the one that talked to me) recommended that I leaved. I was never forced to. I said yes, and he gave me a ride home. I didn't have much to drink, but didn't want to risk getting a DUI. This guy is the Sgt. for our county! He is after his ass hardcore. He called me once about pressing charges, then I ran into him again at a gas station. He said if I testified I could put him in prison for life. What were the charges? He tried to kill me two new years ago. Him and another friend came bashing on my door at about 2:45 on new years day. I was stone cold sober at the time (I had 4 beers that night, and fell asleep before the ball had dropped). I let them in while half asleep. i said well, since it's New Years did you at least bring some beer. He started punching me when I was sitting down! I got two black eyes, two skull fractures, a broken nose, and a broken eye socket. The last time he tried to swing at me he missed and hit my wall, witting a stud. Then he tried to snap my neck. At that point my friend pulled him off, he stole a pack of smokes and left. Did I press charges? No. Why? Various reasons. One is I knew he had committed assault at least 6 counts of assault in the past maybe 18 months. Only one he got convicted of. He was originally charged with terroristic threats and strangulation. It was dropped to mutual combat. He was sentenced to 30 days in jail, but I think he was only in there for 21. Here's another crux. He happens to be a very good friend with the lead investigator of this county! He has his personal cell #, was friends with him on FB, and this guy has even dropped off game meat to his house when he was hunting. What's wrong with this picture? But there's more! He's gotten off of 3 DUI's without a written warning. I was with him TWICE! Both times he was breathilized. One time he blew a . 133 (.08 is the limit here). Another time he somehow passed. He was drinking since 10 AM. The officer came up to the door and said "your friend just won the lottery". He also put a 40 cal pistol to my head when at a friends house. he knows that he is a felon, and not supposed to be around firearms at all! But he decided it'd be a good idea to show him some. I saw him unchamber it, and it was "just a joke". Both laughed about it. sorry, but that isn't a fucking joke! How he gets away with this stuff - I have one guess. He's some sort of informant. on that new Years day, I'd bet money he relapsed. The guy that pulled him off of me says he doesn't even remember being at my house. MOST felons are this way. I have a late friend that was one, but he reformed (got 3 years for growing pot). He did get in trouble in the late 80's, but he spent most of his time reading. That's why I try to help. They either get violent, or flat out steal from you. I only have one that I will talk to. Other than that, they can go to hell! With this guy he will make the victim look like the abuser. His mother once said on his FB to "think like a felon". Mom is always right? Right? I got a call from my former business partner a few weeks ago. He asked about a vehicle, and knew if I know who owned it. He said this guy looked like he was on drugs, and said he was waiting for a friend by my dads property. This unknown guy said that he dropped of his friend there an hour ago, and he was off his meds. That's in a different county. I called their department. We were both thinking the same person. When I called disbatch, I disclosed who we think it was. She said "oh, him". This guy in particular makes me guilty by association. I had a friend of 25+ years tell me that he lost a little respect for me because I was hanging out with him. Most of us aren't saints, but some things are bad. I feel that I have written enough for now. I could write a novel. Any further specif questions, I will answer.

1

Lot of factors involved. What was the felony? What is their attitude?

1

I’ve committed felonies, but I’ve not been caught. Where does that take the conversation?

2

It's not an either/or question. Nature and nurture are both in the mix at all stages of life.

There are, at one extreme, felons who are wrongly convicted, and at the other, felons born with scrambled minds who would be danger to society if ever let out.

The un-nuanced treatment of felons in most of the world is, on balance, unwise, and tends to make them worse rather than better.

Other countries (Norway is an excellent example) have figured out how to bring humanity to the treatment of convicted felons, with an emphasis on restoration rather than punishment, and the results speak for themselves.

2

Nope.
In the past, simply because I had security clearances to keep. And, as a practicing sociopath, I hold those who are caught and convicted in contempt as "amatures".
BTW, Felon = conviction.
There's lots of us out here who just never got caught.
😉

1

No one should be in prison unless they are a danger to others. There are other ways of dealing with crimes like theft (often related to poverty and addictions). No one should go to prison for being so poor they can't pay their fines. There are other ways of punishing. Curfews, public service would go far in rehabilitation and would cost the state far less money.

2

I'd befriend a felon before a cop

2

My cousin worked in corrections facilities his entire career. He said if he Ever found just one inmate who said, "yeah, i did it" he would have cheerfully helped them to escape.
Nobody was ever guilty, or there were extenuating circumstances plus they were (of course) not gulity.
Should tell you something......

they were just standing there and then all this shit happened

1

It seems like an interesting thing to do, the question is... how could I help someone who (as you said) doesn't want to be helped and most importantly and on top of that, I don't even know how to help myself? So, I thought about it but as of right now, I am leaning towards no thanks.

3

One of my brothers is a felon. Got in trouble in his late teens & early 20s for drugs, minor burglary (taking things out of unlocked vehicles at a campground), and being insubordinate to a judge.

He's a prick so far as remaining faithful to his girlfriends and can't keep a job to save his life, but he doesn't have a single violent bone in his body - all he wants is to enjoy life, smoke pot, and fuck

Well I could do withot the pot other than that he seems to have his priorities straight. The last few thousand years of scientific endeavour and techological advancement allows us as a species to persue this path we just havent organised ourselves so we can all do it.

5

I became friends with a felon and didn't even know it until we got closer and I heard her darker life stories. She's an upper middle class lady. Super sweet. She did a lot of stuff when she was younger, had a bad boyfriend, but ended up turning her life around.

1

Yes I would, but via a state program, and I would write to a felon of the same gender. They can’t learn your name, and you are given guidance on what you should and shouldn’t write about. It can give a depressed inmate a lifeline. Some prisoners shouldn’t be there. Like those on weed charges.

Livia Level 6 June 15, 2018
3

No. I do not befriend many people at all. I am fussy.

1

Born and bred that way ?

5

No, I would not befriend a felon. In my 20's a friend gave me a ride. I felt shocked when he stopped at a felon's house to buy marijuana. It was a frightening experience. I had never seen a person with such cold eyes. The man never smiled and had a pistol. He seemed menacing and evil.

We were there for a hour while they smoked marijuana.

Since I worked full time and was in graduate school, I studied wherever I could. In that dark, empty place, I studied by the refrigerator light bulb. It was the only light in the house.

"What if the police bust in and arrest us all?" I thought. I resented being put in that position, and let my friend know afterward.

oh no ... not a FELON!??!! He might smoke some of the debils weed and go wild with reefer madness. You people need to mix classes a bit.

@kauva I think it was the pistol part that scared her.

Being taken where you do not want to be, and kept there, is a Terrible experience for anyone, and if the cops had shown up, your life could have been ruined! My sympathies!

@kauva
Mocking me is unkind. I did not watch their transaction. My friend Tim bought other illegal drugs (opium, speed). Tim was in medical school.

I retreated to the kitchen because I got the strong feeling from the felon that he did not want me there.

@Anne Wimsey
Thank you for for your compassion and understanding. I appreciate you.

@LiterateHiker "the felon"? they're PEOPLE. propagating a caste system does no one any favors in the long run.

@TheGreatShadow
The felon's cold, cruel eyes scared me. His blank eyes seemed soulless, lacking empathy.

@LiterateHiker
Right out of detective novel!

@kauva
He was a convicted criminal (felony) carrying an illegal gun. He chose to break the law. He is not a victim.

I surround myself with positive people. If I don't want to hang around criminals, that's a wise choice.

@Cherie44
You are right.

@LiterateHiker damyata datta dayadhvam

3

Prison is a school for some inmates, they learn new skills there, so recidivism is a guarantee.

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