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Just to let everyone know... There is now a group for older women and younger men.

I created it as a form of protest, if anything, against the huge double standard that exists in our world.

Nothing is made of George Clooney's younger wife, because that's the way it's always been. But heaven forbid an older woman should date a much younger man.

Even if a younger man pursues an older woman, the older woman is always labelled a predator (cougar).


Edit - I created this group because I wanted to get away from the 'cougar' narrative which defines older women - younger men relationships as sex based and transient. It's an invalidation. I know age gap couples who've been together 20+ plus years.

I'm sure a separate cougar group would do very well should someone decide to create one.

Ellatynemouth 8 June 16
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27 comments

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1

What age gap constitutes younger?

ipdg77 Level 8 June 16, 2018
7

Dated a woman in her fifties when I was in my thirties. Best relationship I ever had... The most fun, the most easy-going, the most mischievous, the most sexually compatible, the most supportive... I could go on.

5

Frankly, here, when there's a big difference between an old man and a younger woman, we'd call him an old pervert, while an old woman with a younger man would be a cougar; the cougar tag is actually much less pejorative than the old pervert tag here. It's funny how the meaning of words can change from a place to another.

MarcO Level 5 June 16, 2018

I own the cougar label! I am full on cougar. I never look for younger men, it just happens like that. No idea why, but why not embrace it!?

5

About 3 years ago I dated a woman who was 82, we went to the theatre a number of times, she was a delight to be with. She told me she just wanted to date different guys, as she never had the opportunity when she was young. I hear from her once in awhile, she's still out there dating!

Fun (and, to some, disgusting) fact: 65 y.o. and over people are the 2nd most sexually active age group, after the 18-25 y.o. people. Not that many other things to do in retirement homes.

@MarcO Not disgusting at all.

5

Good on ya!!!!
Hope it's a rousing success.

5

Count me in. Where do I sign up!!

Ha ha! I noticed you'd joined. Thank you.

@Ellatynemouth Yep...time to stop living in denial and just own it! hee hee

4

I've only been with younger men for years. Can’t remember the last time I was dating a guy my age or older. Idgaf what ppl call it has long as we’re happy.

4

Can you post a link for the group...I'd be happy to join. I don't see it here. Thanks.

I don't know how to. Sorry.

4

Excellent! Not a huge difference but my ex is 7yrs. older than me and most of the women I dated when younger were older. Some much older. Plus RBG is probably one of the most attractive women on the planet right now.

4

Good for you. With consenting adults no negative labels should be applied.

3

Omg! How can I join this fantastic group. I admit to being a total cougar! Haha!

Livia Level 6 June 16, 2018

I totally reclaim the word Cougar and wear it with pride. If a man can have a younger girlfriend, I can date a younger man. It’s so fun! I do have age below which I don’t feel attracted- 25 is the youngest I would personally want to date.

I set up this group to get away from those labels. So that couples comprised of older women and younger men will be just that - men and women.

I don't want any part in perpetuating the 'older women are predators' narrative.

It's quite easy to set up a group. I'm sure a cougars and cubs group would do well.

@Ellatynemouth wow, thanks for judging me. That’s a very similar attitude to when some gay people object to the use of the word “queer”. Times have changed and the meaning of pejorative terminology has been taken away from bigots and has been reclaimed by communities.
Like lots of women in their early 40s, I don’t find the term “cougar” offensive or indicative of predatory behavior.
It’s you who associate it with predators, and I find your comment about “cubs” very assumptive and damn well offensive.
I don’t hang around bars dressed up looking for with younger men, and I don’t online date to hook up with younger guys. It’s nothing I have ever sought. I just look much younger than I am, have a young outlook and younger men assume we are of a similar age. Good luck with your group, I am sure you’ll police it very effectively.

3

Cougar.....pfft....cheetah is more accurate. lol

3

Double-standards are a huge annoyance. I hope your group does well. I have definitely dated younger men, though I am personally not looking for any extreme age gaps.either way. There have been women in my family who have spent their entire married lives lying about their age, to avoid being judged by society..

LB67 Level 7 June 16, 2018
3

I haven't got a clue what I'm doing! So I might have done something wrong...

But I think I noticed that two people have just joined. Fingers crossed it all goes well. Thanks for all the kind comments ☺️

@Faithless1

Thank you.

3

All of my relationships have been with older women/girls since I was 16. But since I was 19 the biggest age gap has been 3 years. I woudl probably feel wierd being with someone noticably younger than myself.

2

I hope it is a success, too. Let lovers enjoy life.

EdEarl Level 8 June 16, 2018
2

Im a 34 year old guy and was in a relationship with woman 10 years older than me that just recently ended. I don't mind if a girl has made more trips around the sun than I have 🙂

2

I like the idea!

To be completely honest with you though, I would say that I only agree with you to a certain degree that there is a double standard.

When it comes to older men forming a couple with younger women, it seems that the term sugar daddy tends to be quickly employed. Thus generating an idea in a person's mind that the relationship is based on some form of financial contract. Which is, in my opinion, demeaning to both parties.

Have a nice one! ✌️

@Faithless1 Haha yeah I would probably agree with you on that one. But who knows. To me it's a case by case thing. True in some cases, false in others. In this type of situation it's hard to generalize. And also, perceptions can deceive.

2

I dated a fella 16 years younger than myself. Yep, there were rude comments. We were entirely secure and having too much fun to allow the rude people to affect our relationship. We went our separate ways only because he felt he wanted more children. I wasn't up for that...we remain friends. 🙂
Now, there are plenty of women in the public eye who have younger partners. They really don't impact us "common" folk in reality. Tina Turner, Madonna, etc., have or have had younger partners. No one says much about that either. Its usually within our individual social circles that younger, jealous, insecure women feel we are not entitled to mingle in their potential pool of dating material. These men date us out of natural attraction or because the younger ones have ulterior motives (not good ones), are needy, create scenes, no meaningful goals in life, etc., etc, etc. Oh and more often than not, younger women have very skewed value systems....not all, but many.

Why I liked dating older women when I was younger is that they had a clue. They had a sense of who they were and what they wanted. Nothing sexier than that.

2

How do I join?

1

NOW someone creates this group after I'm too old to be involved...

Duke Level 8 June 18, 2018

You're not too old.

1

I don't think there is a double standard. I thought both was accepted as normal

1

You just recruited a member here 🙂

1

Not a big deal on this side of the pond. ☺

1

I'm 44 and available, I have heart health of an 80 year though

1

I've always gotten along better with women older than me.

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