I had an early adult life that was full of drama. The drama surrounded my relationships. At age 47, following a serious and violent encounter with a partner, I withdrew into personal growth and recovery. It has been a long path. To be honest, I feel safe here. Fear reminds me constantly that another entangled relationship could once again bring much pain. I long ago stopped blaming others. I now find myself so free of pain that I am content to enjoy my circle of friends. I can't project much beyond that. We are all on our own paths. We must learn from our own mistakes. I am only responsible for myself. I choose not to give anyone else power or authority over my life.

Brace yourself, I am about to make serious verbal jabs at some people.

The people you're describing are stupid and think that non-adherent relationships can be kept together by fantasizing and taking impressions, which are both forms of applying nonsense. There is a real system to human relationships but those people are too dumb to comprehend and apply concepts of relationships, law and the self.

"I'd love to know what my fellow humans are working on, and what kinds of observations they have about themselves and their relationships."

Oh jeez, where do I start on my answer to that? I made a list of all my bad life decisions in a college ruled composition book where I store all my health info. It contains all of my bad traits, as well in the form of neurobehavioral stuff. It's like over four hundred items and I still have to fix those things.

Luckily I have an inclination to attain what used to be called "upwards tendency" so I may assume a better status in the future, rather than remain the distance that I am from my less mature selves, which is too close of a distance.

Some become vindictive, turning into a stalker,Male or Female,checking up on their former romantic interest,shadowing them on a date not letting go when they should perhaps,yes court orders can be filed but's the enforcing them that makes it difficult.

Two to tango n all that. The blame game never helps anyone heal. In fact it holds you back. A few years after i broke up with the mother of my boys she casually said "after i broke up with you". And i went mmm. We all tell it from our own perspective
And we laughed about it. ?

after a while it seems what "they" did don't hold the lessons of my own fails.

A - People, by virtue of human nature will color events in their lives in their favor when telling them to someone else

But ...

It was my former GI friend who violated his oath of enlistment to 'protect and defend the constitution from all enemies, both foreign and domestic' when he voted for the orange one whom he hoped would intentionally violate the Constitution to ban abortions and our personal agreement to never force his religion on anyone.

My ex said I was passive aggressive. I was absolutely floored. No way! Now I get it. There were so many ways I avoided conflict by being undermining or negligent. She was so right. It hurt to admit it. But I hope, it makes me better