I feel totally deflated today, which is unusual for me as I usually plan something big and enjoyable for my birthday (tomorrow).
Instead I am sitting idle waiting for someone to vacate my new digs, waiting for my seasonal job to start, waiting for my life to begin.
I want to wake up and see good things from the news, I want to smile at my own space, I want to enjoy living my life as I see fit.
I don't even have a night out of music scheduled for the entire summer. This is very much unlike me. I feel I have lost myself in this past year.
Does anyone ever feel like this?
Yeah. Often as not these days I am profoundly tired and devoid of the energy and persistence I used to bring to life.
Fortunately my professional life still stirs me, so there's that.
It is a combination of things but the constant daily onslaught of Trumpocalypse news (I tend to think of it as "the three things Trump did today to set us back decades" ) is a big factor. Lingering heavy drama from extended family is another factor. The dull after-gong of my emotional bell being rung by various recent events like my son's death is another.
I bid my wife and stepson to plan a long weekend getaway for late July just to try to shake the cobwebs out of our brains and have some carefree fun. Or try to. Fortunately we're close to the Canadian border so it's easy to get out of 'Murica just for the psychological benefit of it ...
Well I am with you on that one.... Trying to come up with something useful here but...
Oh wait, it is Friday !!! That has to count for something !!! Go out and tell a stranger tonight at midnight he must kiss you !!! .... Happy birthday, you will be fine ???
Happy Birthday, I think any thoughtful person needs to take stock of their life sometimes. I always say if life isn't kicking your ass, you need to get out more. I'm finding the news lately makes me sad too; that means you're sane. I put a lot of stock in free speech, equality, kindness and honesty, feel good about who you are. I think you have a good heart.
I feel very similar to what you are going through right now. But mine has been doing for others first before doing for my self. I've been working through a lot of big ego who take control of matters even if they are in the wrong they turn it around and blanket the burden back on to myself. It's been a tough year for me emotionally physically and spirituality I'm been sucked the life out of me. Yet I continue my path with this.. My expression here is we are all sort of broken in our own ways. It's finding courage inside to our self to make even one change each day will make improvements to our life's.
I'd lost myself for a very long time. Hard lesson to learn that I have to make my own happiness, even if I feel lost or stuck or feel like everything is falling down around me. It's sometimes meant just finding little things to appreciate, or treating myself with kindness when I'm going through a tough time... Have a happy birthday tomorrow, do something nice for yourself.