25 11

Hey boy you must be a summer night because you make me sticky and uncomfortable

Step right up and post your terrible pick up lines! Make me giggle win a prize

By LadyAlyxandrea
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25 comments

14

Last Saturday, a 38-year old said to me, age 58: “I can give you sexual pleasure that men your age aren’t capable of.” I told him he has no idea of the pleasures older men are capable of, and there’s a reason so many older women are glowing.

UUNJ Level 7 July 10, 2018
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too awesome...stealing...

Wow

13

Hey girl, are you an antiquer? 'Cause I have junk that hasn't been touched in years!

tnorman1236 Level 8 July 10, 2018
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That's hilarious!!!

Ok this inspired me to make up a new one:

Hey girl, you a kitchen cabinet? ‘Cause my junk wants to get in your drawers!

@ejbman very funny!!!

10

Cuba..

Me: Tiny pink bikini, flip flops, hair in pig tails, white floppy hat, 5 ft. 5", 115 pounds.

Hot Cuban: "(insert Cuban accent) You know something? You look like a man."

Yes, he was trying to pick me up - trust me.

But, I'm still confused.

Feel free to steal that line and see what happens.

Athena Level 7 July 10, 2018
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Thanks, I don't use pick-up lines, but if I ever try one, I'm pretty sure that won't be it.

Funny how fast Hot turns to Not

9

Perennial favorite: him- do you like bad boys?
Her-of course
Him- great, cause I'm bad at everything!

OpposingOpposum Level 8 July 10, 2018
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6

Halloween party, some time in the 1990s.
We were playing several party games.

At one point a woman I didn't know drew a card.
It instructed her to use a pick up line on me.

She said "Those are the hottest horns I've seen .... since the last bull I rode."

I was dressed in a devil costume.

Laughed for days.

DeeTee Level 7 July 10, 2018
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5

Hey girl, you bored? 'Cause I wanna nail you.

ejbman Level 7 July 10, 2018
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5

Hold your hands down near your belt with both thumbs up. "Your so hot I give you a three thumbs up."

Tominator Level 6 July 10, 2018
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Oh, good lord

5

"Hey girl, do you like Australians because I'd like to go down under you."

(This doesn't work in Australia)

Strabo Level 6 July 10, 2018
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Are you Britain cause I'd like to see big ben

@LadyAlyxandrea I must be Hawaii because I'm a red hot lava

Edited
4

Do you know what this shirt is made of? Cotton? Nope that's boyfriend material.

Robert78 Level 2 July 10, 2018
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4

do you like ice cream?

hankster Level 8 July 10, 2018
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@Akfishlady in a Barry White voice, "do you like lovin' with your ice cream?"

Haha! @Hankster, I think you misunderstood. This is a pick-up line that's not terrible! In fact, I may use it ...

@Lauren proceed.. . I'm just not good at it i reckon....

@Lauren how about, "it's my birthday and you look like some tasty cake"

Edited

@hankster smile001.gif I'm sure that would work for you, or someone who could make it corny enough, but, yeah, not the same effect.

@Lauren I flunked out of 'player school'.... no hope for me I guess.

4

I had never used pick up lines never felt the need to. I did know a guy that would walk up to women and say do you want to have sex only he used the F-word and he left with the gal more times than he got slapped.

azzow2 Level 8 July 10, 2018
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Funny that you said this...I have fallen for that since I think it is brazen, shows confidence, and gets to the point...lol...There is something about the directness from certain guys that is just so sexy...lol...

This does work. Also asking if you can touch/feel their boobs works well too.

3

Here's a bad old warhorse: "I lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

SonofMax Level 7 July 10, 2018
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3

I'm interested in knowing about women pick up lines (rather than men).
I just remembered one from a long long time ago: was at a New Year eve party with a group of friends. Was looking and being looked by a gorgeous older woman (I was 21 she 31). At midnight, lots of hugs and kisses to friends then turned, we met and really kissed deeply for several minutes (had cheers from my friends going). She was back from a 2 week vacation down south. I complimented her tan while I was noting my lack of tan to which she replied by saying: You'll blend well in my sheets while you'll easily find me. We dated for about 6 months... yes, I was a boy toy.

Lukian Level 8 July 10, 2018
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Tsk, tsk. A boy toy. how humiliating.

@tymtravler it was a fun ride @ 21 but I was a rebound from a divorce... it didn't last.

3

Hey, I know where there's a GREAT motel near here!!

Paul4747 Level 7 July 10, 2018
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That IS great! You really look like you could use a shower.

I can't help myself. These are the things that come to mind when I read these. smile001.gif

2

found this visual guide

Lukian Level 8 July 11, 2018
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That's one mode. Lol

2

Do you provide accommodation?

Your crotch looks exceedingly damp.

Fancy giving your beaver an airing?

irascible Level 8 July 11, 2018
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2

Wow, I hope y’all don’t actually say these things to people. I’d be surprised if any of them even started a conversation. Hell, I don’t even say hello. Lol people suck.

NothinnXpreVails Level 8 July 10, 2018
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2

I hope you know cpr... because you are taking my breath away.

Buckeyeproud Level 7 July 10, 2018
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2

I had a guy a while back tell me "you look like my next mistake"

LadyAlyxandrea Level 8 July 10, 2018
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wasn't that a Taylord Swift lyric?

2

ah man I'm so rusty with dating stuff...
Hi! Nice shoes. (then I usually proceed in the direction I was going to at that point).

all the ones I know get lost in translation from French....

but the cheesiest I've heard was:
Does your butt hurt from falling down from heaven? (clear sign of a xtian there)
another: You must work with jeans because you're working mine right now. (mini-barf)

Lukian Level 8 July 10, 2018
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1

"You look so good id eat it from the back" smile009.gif

Renickulous Level 7 July 11, 2018
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1

Hey there, If I make you giggle will I win a prize?"

Yeah... I suck at pick up lines.

Bierbasstard Level 8 July 10, 2018
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Good try!

1

That's little much. Nobody's gonna top or should I say bottom that.

starwatcher-al Level 7 July 10, 2018
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0

As soon as you meet slowly Look her up and down and then say, no I will not have sex with you.

Anonbene Level 7 July 13, 2018
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0

The first one posted.

starwatcher-al Level 7 July 10, 2018
Reply
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