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Who should make the first move?

Agnostic should allow all members to choose and display their preference, if they want to, on this issue. Just the way a profile/bio shows what each person is here for. Men, Women etc.
With check boxes, drop boxes or whatever just get in the profile/bio, PLEASE. Geez
Would save everybody a lot of time.
But, don't word it the way have.

Can you hear me Administration?

Do women prefer to make the first move,
by sending a man a message?
Or
Do women prefer that a man make the first move,
by sending a message?

If a woman likes a specific man,
does she hint and hope he'll take the hint and make first move by sending a message?
Or
If a woman likes a specific man
does she prefer to make the first move by sending a message?

I'm ok with any of these choices. I'm just trying figure out if there is some proper silent dating protocol etiquette thing out there that I don't know about.
It's really hard to figure people out if they don't post or talk about their preferences. I don't think anyone's a mind reader. How are we supposed to know. Or figure out someone's hints and signs. What if a person

Maybe I'm confusing today's dating culture with the 1950s or Leave It To Beaver or Disney Ugh

I don't know what I'm supposed to do when it comes to this issue.

Maybe it's all just trial error.

Wow, Rommie is hot! Lol
I think it would be alot easier and alot less time consuming if I just build my own Rommie. Hmmm
I wouldn't have to rack my brain and my heart could get the emotional rollercoaster. Win! Win!

#hell #hope
JohnINFP 7 July 10
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12 comments

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1

Level 8

If you're unsure, you could just reply to one or 2 of their posts with a sort of open ended question. As far as your suggested categories, if they did that they should have a 3rd one along the lines of "no preference" but not so disinterested sounding. Some people appear more approachable here than others do. You might find it easier to make the first move with some people more than others & not want to be categorized.

Carin Level 8 July 12, 2018
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1

Level 9

I find the whole msg thing kind of inadequate. They tend to run out of gas. They are not like real conversations, so there is no real flow. Sometimes days go by before they answer a question. I understand why women are reluctant to give out their phone number, but without a voice, no inflection, no laughter, and normal conversation, it is a very limiting form of communication. It very difficult to be charming in type. ☺ I will probably avoid them for the most part.

Talking on the phone is much, much better!
I need to hear her voice, her laugh, her stories, her questions, a an accidental slip about something sexual, cuss word etc..
3

Level 8

Perhaps if a single person is shy but would really like to be contacted regarding romantic interest, they could simply state so on their profile, in their own way.

If a person would rather not be contacted by random people who have obviously not read their posts or participated in any discussion with them, perhaps they could state that.

People will do as they are moved to do.

There are several men here that I hope will never contact me, because of their degrading comments about women on various threads. So far so good - and I hopefully I won't need to put that on my profile.

It's through interaction in discussions or reading other's posts, that one can get a feel for another's personality. Perhaps you can gauge a person's interest in you by interacting with them on posts, and if you feel there is a connection, send a message.

3

Level 8

If you like someone, send them a message. Write something about yourself, but also something that would make them interested in finding out more.

4

Level 6

If you want to message someone and talk to them go ahead. I message people I think will be interesting all the time. I also receive messages from girls that want to chat. The road goes both ways.

4

Level 7

If you like something... message it. simple.

Oh suure
That sounds too good to be true. Lol
5

Level 8

May be try not to overthink it too much. There is no formula I’m afraid. Go with your gut. Definitely hint at interest before messaging though.

When I haven't been able to figure something out for 51 years, I overthink a little. Lol This is a lot tougher than when I figured out how to solve the Rubik's Cube. At least the cube is logical.
Gut, yes I trust that.
Ohh, hint before messaging, right. hmm
Thanks for the comforting and wise words, Grace : )

@JohnINFP Rubik’s Cube is designed to be solved. You also know what the end result will be and should be. That is a far cry from a human being who is more like putting together puzzle pieces when you don’t know what the resulting picture should look like. I think part of the fun is trying to figure it out. You like someone, I would say just message them. It’s free and legal eh? LOL.

@graceylou whoa whoa whoa hold your horses there Missy. Did I read that right? Let me get this straight. You think putting a picture puzzle together is harder to solve than a Rubik's Cube? Have you ever solved a Rubik's Cube? lmao

@graceylou Well, if I was as hot as you, I wouldn't have to figure any women out, because they'd all be chasing me down the street everytime I went outside.

@JohnINFP Well, it’s a million piece puzzle and you don’t know how they are supposed to fit or what picture you’re putting together. And there are pieces that may not even be part of the puzzle mixed in there. And it’s a multidimensional puzzle too at that. I don’t have the patience to solve a Rubik’s Cube but there are many people who can solve it, some in seconds. Humans? I don’t think they can be solved.

@graceylou there's alot of dangerous things that are free and legal. : o
I like the 'eh?' you slipped in there. That's a Canadian thing, right? Good day, Guvna! Top O' the mornin' to ya!
Hearts, Stars, and Horseshoes, Clovers and Blue Moons, Hourglasses, Rainbows, and Tasty Red Balloons!
You know I loved that Kids In The Hall. They actually played that show on network tv at night.

@graceylou wtf? A million pieces? I've never even heard of one in the us. That must be a Canada thing. Oh, That's why you all are so nice and don't shoot each other like Americans do. Because you all are are snowed in all winter trying to put million piece puzzles together.
I thought you were talking about 1000 piece. I've never even heard one with that many pieces. Did you make that up?

@graceylou I used to solve the Rubik's Cube when I was a teenager. I was in 9th or 10th grade. I could do it in about 20 minutes. I was faster than my cousin. It would take him longer because he solved it by taking all the stickers off and then sticking them back on. Those stickers are a bitch to get off. They were all crooked when he got done, though. He's a haybale farmer now.

@graceylou There's a YouTube video of a 4 year old Chinese girl who solves the Rubik's Cube in 4 minutes.

@graceylou There's one guy I saw on tv solved the cube with his feet, he was pretty fast too.
And some of my fellow nerds, built a machine that does it less than 20 seconds, I think the world record is 14 seconds. The videos are all over YouTube. Pretty Amazing really.

@graceylou I was just funnin' with ya hope I didn't weird you out or piss you off. Thanks for all the great advice! I really do appreciate it. : )

@JohnINFP Nah, I told you I’m not easily hurt/offended and such. I’m almost bulletproof. LOL. Except when someone says something about hurting animals or innocent people. Then I can go ballistic. Eh???? Yeah, solving the Rubik’s Cube is not my life’s goal. Neither is figuring out the human puzzle.

@graceylou bulletproof eh you're like the hot terminator lady in the movie "the terminator"

@graceylou I know you'll fight to the death for your furbabies

@graceylou my brother's wife is like that about him she said she"ll kick anyone's ass that messes with my brother and he's a Marine lol

@graceylou since you mentioned it, whatvis your life goal?

@JohnINFP At the moment my life’s goal is to go to bed. LOL. I have to feed my snakes first though. Otherwise my life’s goal is to save animals, the environment, and the entire planet. Not so lofty is it?

@JohnINFP Wear a kilt at your own risk. See, the kilt will attract women. I didn’t say what kind of women.

@graceylou that's the most beautiful goal.
That should be everybody's goal
i thought it was getting late out there, bet you are tired
goodnight gracey

@graceylou yeah, you didn't warn me : ( lol

@JohnINFP Good night John. Some things you just gotta find out for yourself. Who knows. Everything I say might be complete BS.

@graceylou you seem wise to me

@graceylou
I don't think what you say is bs.
When I said,
"Did you make that up?" I was kidding.
It was my lame attempt at humor. : )
I say a lot of stupid stuff on here.

@JohnINFP Don't worry about it. I make things up as I go along.

@graceylou wow! I really talked you arm off yesterday. : o I must have too much Mountain Dew lol
3

Level 7

Good question. I'm a little old fashion and want a an to step up.

That's what I'm talking about : )
I knew there were women out there with that preference

@JohnINFP Now to find a man... LOL
2

Level 7

If I like a particular man I don't hesitate to let him know or send him a message. However, I also like to know if someone is interested in me. Sometimes just knowing that will get my attention when I might otherwise not particularly notice them. This (of course) is speaking for myself. I can't speak for everyone.

6

Level 7

If you wait for message from a woman you could be waiting a long time.

Those hints though...and signals....I’ve never been good at picking up signals. I need it spelled out!!

antman Level 7 July 10, 2018
Reply

Great handle!!
If there were any signals in my life, i missed them all
I need it spelled out too lol 😟

I agree. I actually started reading body language books. Lol

@chris26plus interesting idea. Did it help?
6

Level 8

Just like any individual, each woman has different preferences - we're not all the same !

That's what I was afraid of.
Man, finding Ms. Right is so complicated.

@JohnINFP all things worth having generally are !

@JohnINFP I’d say stop looking, flow with the chaos of the universe

@NothinnXpreVails a lot less work that way
5

Level 8

I think you will remain confused....

You speak the truth, wise man : )

@JohnINFP lol, humans are complex animals, there are so many variables involved with each subject, male and female. You’ll remain confused, as will I and the other males, but I think the females are just as confused as the males.

@NothinnXpreVails most definitely.
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