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How religious family members "support" you.

Ive been having a pretty rough go of it these last couple weeks and im away from my family for the first time ever.
They are religious and im an atheist. Weve discussed this, had conversation about our difference of beliefs. Its all good.

But they always try to comfort me with god. Like "don't worry, god will guide you where you need to go" "god has a plan" "praying for you"

Which i know they are trying to help, BUT its so infuriating!!!

I feel like they are rubbing religion in my face rather than actually help!? And what good is that to me? God has a plan!? There is no plan, you have to make things happen.

Rather than thinking deeper for a way to help, they just use a cop out that makes them feel better but me feel worse.

Venting for the day complete ✔

Lynn1216 4 July 21
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37 comments (26 - 37)

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1

My parents are a little like this. I try to see how I can ask for specific help from them, or tell them about things which they might be able to do real-world things that are beneficial.

3

You believe in facts and reality and your family believes in magic and fantasy. Congratulations you are right and they are misguided. Stay strong.

0

It is about you. Learn to roll with the punches. I don't argue religion with nobody... atheist or religious.

2

Everywhere I see the word "god" I substitute the words "white men" it helps to explain religious insanity a little bit. So in a very quiet and slow voice, just lean in close and explain that everyone is entitled to believe what ever they want, and you have reached a calm state of peace where all that nonsense about religion is not necessary any more. And that you've matured past it. We're not trying to convince anyone about atheism. But we won't have our liberty challanged or trampled ether.

Hey!!! As a non-insane non-religious white guy, I'd appreciate it if you mentally excluded me from that category when you do your mental substitutions. I've never had a "plan" for anybody beyond "dinner, movie, hopefully some fun later tonight."

4

Nicely done ?

Saying there's a divine plan means that bad things happen for a reason, so it's somehow supposed to be a comforting thought. In my book that just means God is kind of a dick. A benevolent God, if there were any God, would have a plan that didn't involve so much meaningless pain and suffering.

0

My parents think I didn't get the last job I applied for because I didn't pray before my interview. Now that's the motivation I needed.

0

Religion tends to remove the ability to think and process outside of predefined responses. The responses about god's plan etc. are comforting to those who believe in a higher being. Obviously though for us free thinkers its clearly not much comfort and rather offensive.

If possible ask for them to refrain from these statements and see if they can offer comfort in another way. Maybe even provide them some examples. Maybe something like "regardless of where the Plinko chips fall, You'll get to spin the big wheel" at least it has some basis in life. Lol

And feel free to vent whenever you need.

1

Its there way of saying you don't need help, a self serviing denial based coping routine that essentially explains why they won't help you, you are okay as you are.

1

I say something to the effect "Thanks. I'll take all the good luck I can get."

xyz123 Level 7 July 22, 2018
0

I have no one who is religious in my family but I would walk away if they tried any of that stuff on me!.

jacpod Level 8 July 23, 2018
0

You Need to Vent, Cannot Keep inside or ELSE Maybe Lynn

0

Sounds like you could use some new people in your life. Not giving up your family or anything, but rather finding others that have similar beliefs as you do. Build up a support structure of these people so you can have others to rely upon for what your family can't give.

Atecc Level 4 Nov 17, 2018
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