So I'm gonna put this out there right out the gate. This is going to seem shallow and judgemental. And I guess it is in a way. But hear me out. We are all here to connect with other people. Either just friendly conversation or looking for a mate to be with or something in between. We humans are judgemental by nature. Call it a form of selective nature so to speak. We all have in our minds as to what kind of people we want to be associated with. As for me. I'm not looking for the 50 something 300 pound lonely divorced women with 5 cats/dogs. In the questions asked by this sight it asks about what body type you are interested in. As for me, I marked same. Yes, I have a few extra pounds and have that middle aged gut. So I'm not trying to get with that mid twentys hottie. I'm realistic. It ain't gonna happen. Besides, I want to associate with people I can relate to. In the past I've had issues with women 10-15 years older then me aggressively pursue me. Some to the point of stalking. And it all started with a friendly conversation. You put single adults together and being the sexual creatures we are, it often becomes the forefront of a persons desires. If this happens with the right person. It can become a wonderful thing. With the wrong person? Very frustrating and aggravating for the pursuant. Often the person doing the perusing will interfere with the life of the person they are chasing. Lieing and manipulating to get what they are after. (Being a cock block) So don't just judge me and say. "This guy is an arrogant, sexist, shallow, judgemental, jerk." Because you ladies do the same too. Say there is a 24 year old very attractive single female on this sight looking for a guy. She ain't going for that 50 year old fat dude. (Because SHE has standards) And that's just exactly what it is. Not being shallow and judgemental. It's having standards. We all have our own standards and guidelines we operate within. Not to say that there are some exceptions to said standards. That young attractive woman may disregard some of her standards if the old fat guy has a fat lifestyle and bank account to match. (Gold digger) And guys are the same. Some are looking for that sugar mama. Same thing. So with all this being said. What are your standards? What are your guidelines you work within? Are you shallow for that. No, you're not. I have already read several posts about (good Christians) being Hippocrates. Seems to be a popular subject here. So don't be a hippocrat and judge people for them having standards. Just because their standards, wants, likes and dislikes may not coincide with your own. Lets see how much of a hot button this post is. LoL
You know this sort of post makes me feel really old, back in my day we usually started off with, he she seems a nice person, perhaps I might see if they want to get to know me and I them.
It used to be a standing joke that only lonley losers held up signs with "No fat chicks" written on them.
So I think I get what your rambling post is getting at. Yes, we all have "things" we are attracted to in a potential mate. That's not shallow that's human nature.
You pointing out you aren't interested in a 50 year old 300 pound woman IS shallow. As is when someone puts on their profile (here or other dating sites) that they aren't into overweight people. Rather than call out what you DON'T like and be negative about that body type, say what you DO want. For instance someone fit, or I admire curves, etc.
I believe most of my dating profiles say something to the effect of "open to body type but generally gravitate towards a dad-bod and gray hair or bald." Sounds more positive than saying I don't want a scrawny man with shaggy hair.
"We are all here to connect...". Not me, I am here to be snarky & annoying, and tell the truth as I see it as bluntly as possible, in as few words as possible. You, for example, could have said you were looking for a normal size/shape person........
The only thing I've learned about dating is when you go out and you're looking for a long list of very specific characteristics, you're absolutely f** doomed. If your breeding days are over, dating should be approached with much more of an open mind. I personally have found myself being very attracted to someone who physically I was not attracted to at all after spending some time with them. I've also gone out with men who were very attractive to me that I thought were complete assholes.