Do you hold grudges, if so, has that effected your life, relationships,,,?
I keep score. Those who fall into the negative don’t get any assistance from me. Those who stay in the positive, I’d give them the shirt off my back. I typically hate people. And there’s a reason (other than the fact that humanity generally sucks), if I go into a situation which I already assume I’m going to hate a person, and I do end up hating them, I’m not surprised or let down. If I end up liking them, then at least I’m pleasantly surprised.
It’s made life a bit lonelier, but at least I don’t have toxic people attached to me.
Yes I hold grudges and no it doesn't affect my life at all. One grudge is against an anti-semitic asshole who sucker-punched me when I was 13 while I was sitting awaiting my next caddying assignment. Broke my nose. If I ever run into him again I could hurt him. Has no effect on my current life, my grudges are kept solely to the person I have a grudge against. Although they didn't come to mind immediately I guess I also have grudges against the two other guys who beat me up for being Jewish when I was probably eight or nine. Once again has nothing to do with my life and has zero effect on it. If I run across them would there be trouble, probably. The last grudge I can think of is a guy I grew up with and have known most of my life. After I move to Arizona he didn't talk to me for 20 years until I get a call saying I'm moving to Phoenix can I stay with you. Not only did I let him stay with me for over 2 weeks, I helped him find an apartment because I'm also a part-time realtor. I took no Commission. His plan was to move to Flagstaff in a year and buy a house and I assumed he would use me to buy the house. He didn't. But had the nerve to ask me to go over his new contract for his new house. That grudge isn't going away and I haven't been up to Flagstaff to see him in the couple years he's been there.
No grudges... have no time. carry no baggage. I do will kill my mother in law if can get away with it... you know any pros? In Florida?
I don't hold grudges. If someone screws me over, they no longer exist. I let them know they are lower than pond scum (more along then lines of a sewage pond dredging result), then I move on. Nothing will change peoples' basic nature, so why let them drag me down?
It depends what you call a grudge. There's a couple of people who have hurt me and left me without the option from leaving the pain behind, being alienated from my kids being the prime example. But in general if I'm unhappy with someone and don't want them in my life then they're no longer in my life and no longer a problem to me. I wouldn't call that holding a grudge, I'd call it walking away and getting on with life.
I do not believe in the concept of "forgiveness". If someone betrays me in a way I know I will not get over, I cut them out of my life with no remorse.
It has a positive effect on my life because I don't have to even think about that person doing it again. Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives. The ones who are not meant to stay always reveal themselves. I'm never sorry to see them go.
The few instances that I've heard described as grudges of mine, I prefer to think of as understandings through experience. If person A wrongs me in some way, I can acknowledge it and move on; however, if person A insists on creating a track record, or history, or transgressions against me, I'm done with person A. I've heard some describe that as carrying a grudge, but to me, it's shedding a toxic relationship.
Yep, and yep. I have a significant problem with forgiveness when it hasn't been asked for and even when it has, it usually doesn't live up to the offense. The problem is that my lack of forgiveness hurts me more than it does them, so although I work on it, I'm still far from good at it.
Yep and against family too which sucks but if they can't grow up then i don't need their toxic behavior in my life
I find it really (really) hard to hold a grudge. I have to have an intense desire to and the energy and resolve to maintain it. Just don't really have the energy to.
I try not to, but there are just some people I just don't like. I see no reason to keep any negativity in my life. If someone is causing me grief, they need to go. There's no reason to go around with a chip on your shoulder, alleviate the problem in the first place.
I had a grudge that I didn’t even know about until I woke up from a dream cursing.
Someone told me that holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the person to die.
I do not hold grudges. Life is too short and so is my memory.