Ten New Rules for a New Year:

1. Every social media app now prohibits any pics or streaming video that shows people holding gadgets. No exceptions or all violators will be subject to daily colonoscopies for one year. This will eliminate 90% of all content (pun intended).
2. Any major studio that releases another feature film animation will allow me to punch one of their executives in the face.
3. Any studio that releases two feature animations in a week will allow me to punch two of their executives in the face, and so on.
4. It is now legal to slap anyone in public who uses the words bro, like or dude.
5. Mini nukes will now be mounted on the backs of all cars and programmed to automatically launch at tailgaters who are within one car length of the bumper.
6. Every American citizen is now required to take one weekend seminar on empathy every 3 years or will be deported to Uranus.
7. American citizens are banned from using the phrase "You Can't Fix Stupid" unless they can pass a basic annual test on American history and the US Constitution.
8. All men are now required to get in touch with their inner vagina or be shrunk down to 2 inches and shoved up Drumpf's ass.
9. At social events, everyone is allowed to say exactly what they think using hand puppets ONLY.
10. Noone can run for public office if their Sky Daddy tells them not to.