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If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend didn't live together, would you expect at LEAST a text message everyday ? Edit.
Maybe "expect" wasn't the word I wanted. And people seem to have to have a time table established. ....
So "..you've been dating for over a year....wouldn't it seem fitting to text/exchange some affection on those days you can't see each other..?"...

David3001 5 July 30
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48 comments

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1

Yes I would. I'm very insecure.

Carin Level 8 July 31, 2018

Knowing that it would make you feel better if I did, then I would but personally I wouldn't expected anyone to have to.

@RoadGlider You are a truly caring person if you would do something like that.

@Carin it is true that I am.

3

I rarely text. I like to actually like to hear the other persons voice.

3

When I was dating, I liked getting a text message. Some people see that as overbearing, but honestly, it just let me know there was no emergency going on like a car accident. Staying in touch is so easy nowadays between FaceBook, SnapChat, InstaGram, text message, etc. that it really doesn't make sense to struggle sending a small message, unless you're taking a trip away from the internet altogether, in which case your partner will be expecting that.

leggo Level 2 July 31, 2018

My wife and I have been together 10 years now and we're both near-100% telecommutes. So we are home together every day. Still, if I go on a business trip we either talk every day or let each other know that we won't be able to. I don't feel burdened by that. I call it "pinging". It's a social behavior. It seems that if you're supposedly in love and care that you'd want to at least touch base and make sure all is well and that the other person is front and center in your thinking.

@mordant Yup.

1

Depends on how much I like them

hopefully we like someone we call boyfriend or girlfriend? maybe even like them lots n lots n lots 🙂

3

Not necessarily.
If there isn't "enough" communication occurring to satisfy one party's expectations, a conversation needs to happen.
No one can realistically expect anyone else to live up to their expectations if they don't even know what they are.
Further, the other person is under no obligation to live up to your expectations, even if they do know what they are.

Effective communication and clarity makes relationships soooo much better

1

Yes 100%. But since I'm an introvert, before the days of texting (and because I hate phones) my answer would be that I could go months without communication.

Hihi Level 6 July 31, 2018

This was based on a two year long distance relationship 30 years ago...

2

I don't feel like it's an insecurity thing at all. You don't think a "Good morning sweet pea... Good night... Or ..A thinking of you picture or text..." is a sign of a healthy relationship?

That’s why I said it differs. Yeah, those texts are always great! But if you expect it, then it doesn’t mean anything. Unless you’re looking for subservience.
People have busy days. My own grandmother may have to wait to get a text. It doesn’t mean the end of the world. It’s about trust

2

I don't text.

Me neither. I don't even know how. I like to hear the person's voice.

0

I'd be worried or think something's wrong. Also it depends on how long you've been together.

1

no i doubt it once a week seems fine as a cutoff but just doing something because you can makes it pretty pointless

weeman Level 7 July 31, 2018
4

It depends on how insecure the relationship is. The more secure things are the less clinging is needed.

1

No. Her thoughts and Prayers will be enough comfort.

3

I feel like communication is key in relationships. I think that you should at least touch base once a day.

1

Nope.

JacarC Level 8 July 31, 2018
2

Yes, communication is important in a relationship.

3

live together or not...yes...EVERY day...

0

No. It's what makes both people feel comfortable. If it doesn't happen one day I would expect the person who expects that to say I want to hear from you everyday.

lerlo Level 8 July 31, 2018
2

I am a daily communicator. Early on in dating, it is not expected, but in a relationship, it is very important to me. Call, text, face-to-face...just some communication.

3

I think every day would be nice, but not expected. If he's into you, you'll hear from him. ❤

0

no I would expect a great phone call are you with the person or not

0

I would like to talk everyday, of course. There is very important connection for me and I would like to spend more time with my lover in different ways.

2

I think both people must be honest since the beginning and lay out expectations. Do I expect a text from you everyday? Or are we going to have a more lay off approach to this and communicate whenever we can without any expectations?

Personally, I like to plan long term with a nuanced open mind. So I would set no expectations in a short term relationship and I would set expectations in a long term relationship.

Great question.

0

It we lived together then yes, It would be nice and considerate. No if we are not. The relationship is just buildng and everything is not in place to have such expectations. Texting is sort of a double sword. Its nice to know they care but expectations are controlling.

1
1

Absolutely not. I'm not looking to be joined at the hip with anyone and being comfortable with personal, autonomous space is important for wellbeing. There are days when I have no contact with any of my devices, and I would hope the same for my partner. Time apart is what makes time together so special.

Gareth Level 7 July 31, 2018
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