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"Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence."

I made a pointed ironic joke to a dear friend of mine yesterday. Her response; "Joseph you once asked me 'why i would want to hurt someone i love'? So why do you want to hurt me?"

Her words stopped me in my tracks, because she was right, and i told her so.

Words can and do hurt people just like any other weapon. But we can each start contributing to a better world one person at a time by following this rule:

"Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence."

So why don’t we?

Being abusive, rude, disrespectful, harmful, malicious, nasty, unkind, upsetting, cutting, deadly, poisonous
spiteful, and wounding seems to be so easy for so many. I for one, refuse to be any of these things, and frankly, it is hard sometimes. Hard but not impossible.

Fortunately, i have loving friends to help me 'walk my talk'. LLOL And I love each and every one for the gifts they give to me.

josephr 7 Aug 4
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11 comments

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1

That is great! My ex verbally abused me in so many ways, I wish he would have learned this! He's a drunken bastard too.

Sadly, abusive behaviour and alcoholism often go together. Escape is also often the only safe option for those abused. Be well.

1

Pointed ironic remarks generally call for laughter and maybe an upper-arm punch. Perhaps it wasn't all that funny?

Quite observant. And a tad sarcastic.
πŸ˜‰

@bigpawbullets it's what I do......

1

Life is all about self-improvement trying to do and be a better person everyday

That's been my mission. πŸ™‚

1

I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

It's a great quote..but not always easy to follow...?

1

This is a principle I try to live by every day, but I particularly like the distilled poignancy captured here.

I love your descriptor, "distilled poignancy." Perfect!

2

Absolutely true. I have spent much of my life helping people try to heal such painful experiences, some from their childhood; but not always. And some may never get over it.

@josephr I believe it's a hurt similar to the loss of a loved one,a pain that never quite fades away,a wound,covered by a thin,easily torn off scab..

@Mike1947 It certainly can be, sadly for many.

2

I don't believe that, but then again, in the real world I'm filling the air with about 90 percent cheerful things, godawful puns, and meows. My abusers used silence as a weapon and, while I'm perfectly capable of existing without speaking, it's difficult. I was also forever being told to shut up and now, almost 20 years after I escaped, I'm still just speaking whenever I want (though not as much as I used to). I understand that the fewer hurtful things you throw at people the better, but not everyone has to be laconic. Very little of what I say is 'valuable' or 'meaningful,' but it's not hurting anyone, so out of my face it goes.

Yes, silence can be manipulative, abusive, and a power-over technique. Silence explained can also indicate respect, consideration, and appreciation. Like most things, it can have positive and negative impacts.

1

I have a slightly different policy. I don't say anything if I don't have anything of substance to say. This drives some people crazy, which is as good a reason to keep doing it as any other.

1

That's true. You are wrong the same if you are silent (because is more easy or confortable for you) when you must speak.

1

That's true. You are wrong the same if you are silent (because is more easy or confortable for you) when you must speak.

Yes, silence is easy to misinterpret. I also explain my silence if i have nothing constructive to say. Acknowledging how i value another person or what they say would be more valuable than silence.

1

True! But then this post intimidates people from commenting…

Why?

@josephr I'm afraid to say...?

@Krish55 Good one!!!! πŸ˜‰

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