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This is a major rant about men not reading profiles.

I am here for dating and I have an issue about men messaging me without first reading my profile. I may not be everyone's cup of tea but I put some effort in what I write, it's not a bunch of nonsense. I am very direct and I state clearly and deliberately who I am, what I do, what I want, what I have to offer and what I am looking for. I also state that these things are very important to me. I don't know what other people do in their single profiles but simply I feel I need to do this as I am really sick of the BS that appears in my inbox. I'm getting messages from men who are clearly not reading and when they are prompted to, don't care what I want or what I am looking for.

For instance. I state I am a Liberal, and am even into activism. I am even shown in one of my pics wearing a pink pussy hat. I state that I am not interested in Republicans, Conservatives or believers, yet, I get lots of messages from Republicans who message me, (and in the last few cases their political stance is not stated in their profile). Who just don't care, in fact laugh and act surprised when I ask "how do you lean politically?" It sometimes takes several messages to get to the fact that they are registered Republican and that they voted for Trump.They arec vactually hiding it from me, lol. This has even been kept hidden until a first meeting. Why in the world would someone think I would want to date a Republican when I say clearly I do not? Why are these guys wasting my time and theirs?

There's more, Also I have guys go on and on about how I am charming and how they are attracted to me and yet I see nothing in their profile or in the conversation that indicates that we have anything in common. Does it matter to these guys? apparently nope. They think because they are into me that it must translate to that I will also be into them. Fuck the profile, who reads those things anyway? Right?! You are cute, so it doesn't matter what you want. Lol! Ladies, does this sound familiar?

But there's more, I identify as Sapiosexual, it's stated. I have guys, "lol!" at this, that it must be a joke and what is the big deal about shared interests? I'm serious, this is happening. It reminds me of the Xtians, Catholics, and believers on POF and OK Cupid. They act this way. They do not care that you state that you can't stand believers. That you have no interest in them. They are going to message you anyway. I don't know, maybe they think they still have a chance to fuck you, or that you will send them pictures, or phone sex. I think, they think that if they can get your # and at the very least they can send a dick pic. Is shared interests even a thing with men anymore? Are they just browsing pretty pictures of women they want to troll, or do they just want online sex?

I have even had men ask me "what do you do for a living?", or If they happened to read the first sentence, "I'd like to see more of your work". I'm like really? It's all there! It's in my profile. 😟 I really feel like I am getting disrespected and am dumbfounded by the lack of intelligence and effort from some of the single men here.

CaroleKay 8 Aug 4
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86 comments (51 - 75)

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2

Now I had to read your bio..... check

2

? This is rife.
(((( hugs )))

Thank you.Xoxo ❤

2

Sounds like just about every problem a person can have with online dating. I think much of the problem (besides reading comprehension skills, which are quite low, your experience a case in point) is that between the number of people who are currently married (at least 25% or so of all online profiles, and by married I mean 'looking for an affair' and not separated and trying to move on), too afraid to actually meet someone, or too into thinking it's only going to be some sort of hookup.

2

Wow! Well I'm not here for dating and in fact held off joining this site for a while thinking it was only a dating site so I specifically don't check out profiles (unless hit by mistake by my big thumbs, now where am - and how do I get back to where I was again). However I must check out your profile because I've never seen a pink pussy hat, especially someone wearing one lol. Io don't understand the my genders need to send dick picks, or even spend a moment to get to know about someone first. So I will wish you luck and hopefully guys will understand your very legitimate opinion.

Not what I was expecting lol not even sure what I was expecting though, I just had to know lol.

Lol! It's just a pink hat with cat ears. Feminists of all genders wear at them at protest events especially those that affect women's issues and of course, Women's Marches. Thank you. My politics are important to me. I appreciate your input.

@CaroleKay ah we have 300 people where I live and I have been on a few walks here but never seen or heard of one. Likely we are just too far out of the way. How shall I Google that for, um limited results to just that hat.

@CaroleKay so I asked my younger fem friend and got the low down. We Don't have many Trump problems here in Canada so I was out of the loop.

@Wahker Lucky you. I envy your location right now.

1

If a man actually did read your profile and feel attraction for you, he'd have to be 1. educated enough to both read and understand what you're saying 2. know enough about the movie business and art to appreciate your accomplishments 3. feel secure enough in his own worth not to want to put you down to make you even with him.

People usually are attracted to those they feel are similar to them, who they deserve, or who have the same social status and or talents. Since most men aren't your equal, if they did read your profile they'd be intimidated...if they had enough intelligence to even vaguely comprehend it.

Yeah, I'm noticing that here, and I have completely edited my profile, ha I think it's even more clear now. Also, this is a really old post, but thank you! You are correct. Right on! 😀

1

The biggest problem with being a Sapiosexual is that the people that don't know what it means and won't look it up are still hitting on you. As far as the rest of your rant, you are probably much more than entitled to the indignation. I am never quiet about my political stands except at family functions (got a ton of righties) and tonight someone I thought had been paying attention asked me what I thought about Trump. So men are not the only ones that don't pay attention. Again my heartfelt condolences.

it's gotten a lot better because I have been on the site quite a while now and have a lot of the right-wingers blocked. Also, since that seemed to fix that issue, I removed the word and definition of Sapiosexual from my profile. I found that those who didn't know what it was figured it was some kind of kink, lol. I have done a lot of editing to my profile since this post as I take the site and the dating aspect less seriously than I did when I got here. This post is from Aug. 4th, 2018 and is the gift that keeps on giving. I like that someone added the tag #TrumpHumpers. 😀 Thanks for understanding.

1

After reading this post, and reading your profile, I just had to say something. I think what I've gotten from it, is a better understanding of how I need to structure my bio. When it comes right down it I just don't think that I'm a typical guy. I'm sapiosexual, or at least I look for relationships where their common interests and shared intelect. I'm straightish or heteroflexible, I'm a switch and don't play well with dominant guys, or dominant women for that matter but I also don't feel that I'm submissive. I tend to side with feminists, a left-leaning centrist. I'm married leaning towards relationship anarchist kitchen table polyamory. I'm an a anti-theist agnostic student of shamanism.

There quite a few other tags I could probably add in there but that in itself rules me out in the books of most women on dating sites. Of all of them I think OKC's probably the best because of the in-depth profile maker and questions that are offered up to be answered. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here other than that I am empathize with your position.

Thanks so much for your response.

Sorry it took so long to see it.

1

Well said.

1

Same goes for women as well. I've tried online dating. I specifically said "don't use the meetup button" andsend me a message other than saying hi. Guess what?

If you can't bother to read a few paragraphs about me,...

1

Just curious what is Sapiosexual?

[lmgtfy.com]

@rogeralyn That's a huge part of the problem, and you are correct.

1

Well written! I just joined and have yet to actually write a bio because usually it just isn't worth the time I would put in it. Eventually I will get to it but I am not in any hurry - especially since it doesn't look like they are read anyway.
Glad to know I am not the only liberal, activist with no time for tRump, Republicans, conservatives or religion.

Thank you, there are some good guys here, good luck.

1

Faulting people for trying to find some way to open up a conversation with you is kind of rough. Do what you like, but you may want to cut someone a break if they are possibly compatible and trying to find a way to connect. I get it - women have to deal with a ton of stupid in the dating process. Still, being tough on someone for doing their best to contact you when they have read your profile and are just trying to find a conversation starter doesn't bode well. If it is that stressful, take a break.

You have no idea what I'm talking about. But that's OK.

1

It's actually a complicated thing. Guys are always the ones making first contact and get inundated with profiles to read. It's like any algorithm - some men go for a brute force approach. They contact a ton of women knowing that many either won't respond because they met someone, aren't serious about being someone, or won't work out when they meet. If that is their approach, then they aren't going to read profiles that well. It's a numbers game with that approach.

It could also be that they just don't have good reading comprehension. That's a very real possibility.

You might find more success if you initiate contact. It's rare and, as a man, I've really appreciated when it has happened. Contact people that fit what you are looking for - flip the script and see if that helps.

All the best!

1

Perhaps we should get together, and fuck and think about it?

1

I sympathize with this situation. I hope it improves for you. ?

Thank you for understanding.

1

I think I will head on over and read your profile

Phin Level 6 Aug 5, 2018

Very cool profile, I was going to call you out on your “o.” misspellings but when I got the end I totally understood ( why does this site do that?). Your work is fucking awesome by the way, no I see why you get upset when people want to see your work, as if they haven’t already. I would like to follow you as I enjoy interacting with interesting and smart people.

I edited, it's easier to read and hopefully, the glitch has been fixed.

1

So,what is it you do for a living?

And......MAGA!
😉

1

That must have felt good! ?

1

You go girl!

❤❤❤

1

I learned to stop arguing with moron men who won't read profiles and hit the "block" button the instant a man who messages me asks me about something that is clearly stated on my profile.

I also go to their profiles and read their answers to the profile questions, and if they indicate any belief in god, I also block them.

But I have so many other stipulations, including a dating prospect being my age, that I can usually eliminate them just from their ages.

1

I had to read your profile after that! (very clever,lol)

1

I look at this trend as a shortcut. It weeds out most of the men you wouldn't want to meet anyway !

For the few that escape your immediate scrutiny, try to always make first meets just a walk, or something totally non-committal and short. You can always extend the time , if he proves to be ok !

1

Sorry😟

1

I would like to state like every other man, I'm not like other guys. Now that it is out of the way, I think too many people view it as fishing, you can take time to cast one line or you can cast as many as possible and it only takes one to respond for them to believe they can win the individual over with charm and if not break out the old dick pic. It is just laziness and not really being interested in what the individual wants but to fulfill their own gratifications.

1

Well, you motivated me to look up "Sapiosexual." Ha Ha! I'm always a little behind the curve with pop culture references.

While "sapiosexual" is a relatively new word, I have described myself as a sapiophile for decades. But even that is relatively new, from the early 90's, if I remember correctly.

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