And there was war in heaven.

God and his angels wanted to watch the Super Bowl. Satan and his angels wanted to watch Aladdin on Ice.

And Satan did rise up and grab the remote. And God did throw down his popcorn and did heave a chicken wing at Satan. And Satan retaliated by eating all the pepperonis off the pizza.

Michael, knowing this was out of hand, demanded that Satan and his angels go to their own house and watch Aladdin.

Lo, Satan did throw a snit, and did cast the remote across the room, breaking it into smithereens. Thus Michael, thoroughly angry, did grab Satan by the nape of the neck and put him outside, after which he did turn on the sprinklers and unleash the hounds.

And low, neither God nor Satan did watch TV that day and forever would they blame one another for this catastrophe.