What is something positive that came out of your divorce or separation? I'm at that point when I need to think about these things.
Here's one I noticed right off... My house stays a lot cleaner now. My husband was kind of like a large child when it came to cleaning. I put things back as I go along. There are no longer any major messes to clean on Sunday. It tired me out at times. Now I have so much more free time! My writing and art have soared!
Honestly? I can't think of a single negative. My house is clean, my finances are in order, I no longer have any credit card debt, there's no one around to ignore me, and even though I'm not with anyone yet, at least I don't have anyone around to turn me down when I feel turned on. I've lost weight without trying, I smile and laugh so much more these days, I can go where I want when I want, and I'm never subjected to his crappy cooking (which was the only thing he contributed to in our household). I'm no longer supporting an unemployed, depressed hoarder. My life is so much better, some days I don't even know how to handle it!
Iβm much happier and am (slowly) becoming more self confident
The confidence takes time. It happens and one day you turn around and you are doing things you never thought you would do.
Not having to deal with a drunk ass when I get home and the verbal abuse that went along with it. But I hate doing the grocery shopping.
Let's see I get to keep all my own money now I have personal freedom I actually own my house I can't be kicked out on a whim and I have a wonderful sense of Peace of Mind
No walking on eggshells 24/7. No more feeling unwanted, unattractive. Rediscovering passion for so many things I had completely forgotten about.
There are so many positive things that came after my divorce, I'm not even sure I know where to start!! I don't have to cook or clean up after somebody else. I can have real peace and quiet. There isn't anybody else that can fuck up my finances. Tons and tons of stress went away. I rediscovered my sexuality. (22 years of bad sex will kill your sex drive.) Even not having to sit across the dinner table from someone with disgusting manners turned out to be a huge positive. Not having to deal with his PIA family was a side bonus.
All the strange conditions behaviors I put together to deal with her dysfunction were gone. I could enjoy just being social without having to compensate...
Give it time. You'll get through it.
I would have to say for me it would be getting my finances in order and under control and a whole lot less stress. I tried very hard to try and have us work together on the finances and work towards making a budget but was always told that I had no idea what I was doing and that she had everything all laid out in her head. When things would go bad, as they usually did, I would get blamed for it. I was the only one working at the time too. Her daughter wouldn't do anything around the house and my ex would bitch that she had to do everything herself. I would help out here and there but then get told I didn't do it right. It was such a relief to move out and get my own place and just take care of myself. Everything fell into place once I started doing the things I wanted to do financially. It feels so great to not be told that I do everything wrong. I'm so glad I'm not in that situation anymore.
I just don't understand the messiness factor. Why is my sex generally so damn messy? I have dealt with male family slobs. I don't understand it. I like living mess free and clean up after myself. Not that I make a big mess anyway.
I get along better now with my ex than before. The kids are getting co-parented, no more fighting.
Finally enough, since I have no expectations of my ex we get along ok. We have kids and grandkids and we can be together as a family and when he is annoying I just smile and think not my problem anymore!
Go to all out war with ex mother in law.
How is that positive? Lol?
@SukiSue I don't have to fake anymore.
@GipsyOfNewSpain That's great! Faking never works.
@SukiSue Why women still fake orgasm? According to them.
@GipsyOfNewSpain ah...er...eh....um...
@SukiSue Exactly... I always been in Harry's Camp and then came Sally and Ruined it for us.
@GipsyOfNewSpain but not to fear. I think most women get too old to fake it! At the end of our Lives we just want to have fun. No pressure...
@SukiSue Amen Sister, I go with that.
More room to toss and turn at night in bed. Love the room to stretch even though I still actually sleep/lay on one side of the bed.
Hahaha... There is a song by my favorite band, "Phish." They only say one line during the whole song: " when you're here, I sleep lengthwise.... When you're gone.... I sleep diagonal."
Lol... Too funny. You'll have to look it up!