I am separated and have been for over three years... A couple months ago i filed for divorce... I've had the papers, signed, for over a year... I just was hoping for a rekindle or maybe I was just afraid of being alone... Anyway I filed them at the courthouse and I felt indifferent... I thought that I would be happy happy but no, I had a feeling of guilt...Why would I feel guilty?? It is a mutual divorce seeing that we can't live in the same house with each other... I haven't cried, I just feel guilty... Any thoughts would be appreciated... Thank you
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I was going to write something but I read Paracosm’s reply below and couldn’t put it better or more succinctly. I m sad for how you are feeling, things will get better in time....they always do. Life is a journey and it comes in various stages....you will start on a new stage after your divorce.
Marionville
Level 10
Aug 28, 2018
2
I had the same feelings, eventually did my own divorce after 2 years or living apart, and I've never been better although I am lonely. The ex and I are still friends but I miss her dearly. I've found that she stresses me a lot, so being divorced and alone here is the thing to do. I was worried about losing my property, small as it is. We came to an agreement and I filed. Why would you feel guilty? Both of you made some very serious vows and they are apparently now unkept. In my case I went on a long journey of fixing everything around and in the house. Why would I do this? It's because I could not fix my broken marriage.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Aug 28, 2018
2
sounds like after 3 yrs you have evaluated your current status and come to some sort of realisation as to how things may have been different if xyz had maybe happened or if you or your partner had tried harder or approached things differently any number of reasons could cause the feeling of guilt. I would give yourself sometime to go through it if you don't feel it is getting better you are either clinging on to a negative emotion for reasons only you will be able to work out or you may have fallen into a depressive state in which case seek some mental health input.
weeman
Level 7
Aug 28, 2018
1
Probably from a feeling of having failed in something or in letting down your family. I didn't feel guilt when I got divorced..I danced a jig and felt like I had been hitting my head against a wall for 22 years and stopping felt WONDERFUL.
Even my daughter remarked, "I love Daddy, but it's so peaceful around here now!"
birdingnut
Level 8
Aug 28, 2018
1
The guilt , is because you made a promise you fully intended to keep . While it seemed like the right thing to do at the time , there are things you don't know and can't even imagine that happen , that you have realized make keeping that promise a matter of making people miserable for the rest of their lives . You're caught between a rock and a hard place . Better one broken promise than letting things continue to get worse for all concerned . It's time to start over . Figure out what you want your new path to be . Who do you want to be . A marriage can leave you with a lot of bad stuff , you don't want in your life . Find a new direction for yourself . Make choices . Decide what habits you made , while you were married , that you don't want to live with . Find your new goal , your new direction , and figure out what you need to do to get there . Now is the time !
Cast1es
Level 9
Aug 28, 2018
1
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