Agnostic.com

14 8

I miss home.

I moved away from my parents' house to study medicine at a university. It is not that far away from home, but it is a two-hour commute from home to the university. My parents and I are at good terms. They did not want me to move away, but I had to. I need to.

I found a decent place to live in. I work as a freelancer online doing writing jobs, and yeah. It is sad being all alone. I have friends, sure, but I just don't have the sense of family. I miss my sisters, my parents, and my hometown.

The city life is terrifying. Just crossing the streets feel like the cars are out to kill me. People around me feel like they want to rob me, rape me, and stuff like that. I do not feel safe around here, whereas in my hometown, I can walk with my phone and headphones out, and no one would bother or care what I'm doing.

I miss my friends from my hometown.

It is a struggle. Though I can support myself with a decent job and an already fully paid tuition, I feel that there is something missing.

Though going home is an easy solution, it is not a practical choice to commute from hometown to city just to feel less homesick. Yes, homesick. That is the perfect word.

I don't know. Sometimes, I walk around this city but feel scared. Talking to my parents and my friends only make me miss home more. I don't even know.

Anyway, I just posted this out here to let my thoughts out. I am truly struggling right now.

And no, I don't think a prayer is going to help me. Lols.

CesStuart 5 Sep 3
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

14 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Imagine how you'll feel when you do go home to visit, having succeeded here. Your family's job was to prepare you for this. They're still there for you. Call them.

1

A home is a nurturing nest for fledglings. I'm sure a young bird misses his nest when he is out on a limb building courage for his first flight. I'm sure he feels lonely and that something is missing when he is soaring among the clouds.

What I am saying is your home has served it's purpose. The new feelings you are experiencing are your new norm, your new environment. It is your job to master them.

You are right where you are supposed to be and it seems you are doing well.

3

One of the reasons to go off to college is to experience the world outside your home base.This is necessary. The world is not all hugs and hot chocolate. It requires survival skills you won't learn at home. It is uncomfortable at first, but look around for the opportunity it affords you. It will become comfortable.

1

There seems to be a very big decision in life: do I give up on my full potential and do whatever menial jobs necessary to remain in my rural hometown, or give up the security and familiarity to enter the pressure-packed cut-throat world beyond…

I thought of my daughters within each of your sentences. One’s ventured a bit further than the other, but both are relatively close to ‘home.’ They’ve graduated college and are now gaining experience within their fields of study. As a father, the concern never lessens..

I’d suggest you continue toward your education, and that includes an understanding of ‘what’s out there.’ Remain vigilant, very guarded, that is to be expected at your age. You are an extension of your parents, their ‘agent’ to the world! They must be proud, and miss you equally.. If you become comfortable within your new surroundings, make them yours. If not, take your tallents home, eventually, and apply them as best you can.

Your writing is solid, and your concerns are no doubt valid and shared. Learning to survive in a new situation is a skill in itself. As for missing family ..I’m afraid that’s the gift that keeps on giving…

Varn Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
3

You're not alone, find other people in your situation that you can talk to. There must be a lot of them at your university. If you can't find anyone to talk to among your peers, go to the school's counsellors.

JimG Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
0

I understand this. Change is SOOOO hard. Maybe you can make some friends at University and spend time with them. This is supposed to be the best years of your life. If you put yourself out there to meet people you will find your own life and it will help you being far from home.

1

Wecome to Adulthood....

1

The first step is always the hardest. Just give it some time and hang out with your friends.

3

You are surrounded by different faces and personalities. I guess that can be scary. If at all possible I suggest meeting others at the college. Maybe join a couple of activities. Once you start meeting people you will feel a little better. You will also learn about safe places as well. Try to move around during the day. Being safe is the most important part. I'm sure you have a lot of studying to do in med school so you are going to be very busy. Hang in there and keep your head up.

2

Hell, I grew up in a small town of 730 people and couldn't get out of the place fast enough. I moved out when I was 18 and never went back again after both of my parents passed away.

The folks in my home town are good people and all, but just too much praise jeebus talk and not nearly enough cultural diversity for my tastes. And you can only spend so many Saturday nights driving up and down mainstreet, listening to the local country music station and honking your horn at passing cars for entertainment.

4

This is a natural reaction. You have left the comfort and security of your family and small home town and not having a feeling of homesickness would be almost unnatural. Well done, you have taken the first steps towards independence and adulthood. Congratulations on getting into Med.school and I’m sure in a few years you will be a great doctor. You will need to build a network of new friends at Uni. and the best way to do that is by joining a few groups....whatever interests you. Like minded people getting together to do something enjoyable will fill your spare time and lessen your feelings of being homesick. Try to gradually cut down the amount of time spent talking to your family, constant ties only prolong the feelings of wanting to be with them. I can understand you finding a big city scary but try to get things into perspective, not everyone is out to attack you and it is wise to be wary, but not to the extent of having a fear to walk around. It just takes time to adjust to city life and you will do so eventually, possibly you will even come to love it. I am a city girl who had to adjust to living in the middle of nowhere, it was strange not having the hustle and bustle of the city and I found the quiet of the country unnerving at first, but now I love it and wouldn’t move back again....just goes to show how one can completely change over a lifetime.
.

4

Congratulations on getting into med school and supporting yourself! Those are huge accomplishments! When my parents dropped me off at college, I cried the moment they drive off. A day later I was in the ER for an anxiety attack. It got better for me, and it will get better for you. Keep a visit home on your calendar so you have it to look forward to. Maybe set up a regular time to Face Time or Skype with your family. And keep in mind that this is an exciting chance to explore with the option to go home once you finish your medical education. Good luck!

UUNJ Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
1

Great read. Keep writing.

2

Remember it's nice to know you have like minded friends on line you can talk to. You seem like a girl with a bright future and a good head on your shoulders. You're a lucky beautiful person please be careful especially at night. Be well.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:170345
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.