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Part of the mission of this site is to act as an interface for men and women to meet. We're not all here looking for romance, some of us are just here for community. I'm one of them.

At this time.

Despite that, I look at the profiles and check out who I'm here with and some women have caught my eye. If I were looking to meet a woman, I know who I would approach first. I guess that makes her a sort of secret crush.

How about you? Is there someone here that you're drawn to but you're just going to keep it to yourself for whatever reason?

Sgt_Spanky 8 Sep 5

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The physical distance is just too great between my crush and me.


A crush, yes. Secret, probably not.


Yup. I'm guilty too. I'm just not sure how to go about making contact. I'm still relatively new here so i'm trying to get the hang of things. 🙂

Start by just responding to some of her posts, engage her in normal conversation and see if you can establish a connection through simple interaction. Don't be clingy or weird and let nature take its course.


I don't think observing that a particular person would definitely be (or not be) a candidate for life partner in some hypothetical situation would constitute a "crush". That would involve actively fantasizing about the person and feeding that fantasy with constant attention to the person's posts and profile.


I vacillate between wanting to be here for community and for a potential love interest. I am still working on healing from a bad break-up that involved many layers of betrayal. It may take a while, but I'm pretty sure that it is a bad idea to immerse myself into anything beyond friendships until I can drop some of this burdensome baggage. That being said, I find myself attracted to men on this site rather frequently. I like men, dang it! Men can be all kinds of fun! But until I am more confident about my own ability to be strong and supportive for someone again, I will keep my secret crushes secret. 😉

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 6, 2018

I'm a sapiosexual. I'm waiting for someone to capture my mind. My body will follow. Granted, there are some attractive people here but if they are all looks & no substance, its like getting an empty box for Xmas. Its pretty to look at but nothing inside.

Appearance is just the initial attractor. There's always the chance that once you start talking to that person, you start thinking "Uhhh, no." Personality and values will always surmount looks in the long run.

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