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You'll never be happy when you compare yourself with others. Is that right or wrong?

Rammymartin10v3 4 Jan 22
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0

I think that sometimes it's inevitable that we compare ourselves with others (based on an article I read in Psychology Today). But I think we need to really understand that it's okay to be different, that we don't have to be perfect, and to be realistic about our own needs, strengths and limitations. Especially if a person has low self-esteem or psychological problems, making comparisons can make us very unhappy needlessly.

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I think we use "comparisons" to understand what we like, what we don't like, what might work, what might not. As a musician, comparing myself to Beethoven, could be pretty depressing. However, recognizing his passion, his outright awe of music, I can adopt that, and use that to improve my own abilities.

I can look at men like our current president and the Evangelicals that put him there and see how they treat others, their contempt of the poor, their hypocrisy, their hubris, and I can determine that those are qualities that I want to watch for in myself so that they do not take root.

I can look at people I respect and consider why I respect them. I can adopt those qualities, or at least honor them when I see them in others.

I can look at my extended family and thank God I moved away and I'm on the other side of the country.

1

I try not to compare myself to others. They are not me, and I am not them, so the comparison is mostly meaningless. Instead, I try to compare myself to myself from last week, or last month, or last year. Am I better than I was? If the answer is yes, then I'm pretty happy with that (note, happy does not mean satisfied.) If the answer is no, then I'm pretty unhappy about that, but have a reasonable model to pursue (the myself that won the comparison.)

One cannot be anybody but oneself, so comparing oneself to anyone else will never lead to happiness. Only comparing oneself to oneself and seeing growth can do that.

1

I reckon it is right, we are all too different, any comparisons have to be incomplete and imperfect, not to mention irrelevant or in my case irreverent.

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I'm pretty happy as I am better than them, so I feel good 🙂

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it ain't helping.

Hehe

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I believe that statement is as wrong as "My bf/gf makes me happy." Happiness comes from within.

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Why bother comparing yourself with others, invariably there is someone else who will do it for you?
Though more seriously depends who you compare yourself with, those less fortunate or those more fortunate.
One of the best ways I know to help myself be kind and civil to complete twats is to tell myself "At least I'm not them."

Kimba Level 7 Jan 23, 2018

Wow. That's what I do too.

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It depends on whether you're better or worse than most other people. 😉

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right, it took nearly a lifetime to learn that

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I think it is one of the largest problems we have with being human. "But he/she has", "I had this happen to me, and I came out fine". We are all different and have different things that individualize us. What makes me strong might break you, and vice versa. If you wake up happy and go to sleep happy, you win that day, and have a head start on winning the next. Mover over, Tony Robbins...hehe

1

Depends on what we're looking at, and the persoective we take on it.

I'm a guitarist. Do i look up to my favorite musicians? Of course. Do i look at my own ability and compare it to those i admire? Yes.

Does it stop me from writing and recording, playing shows, or stop me from enjoying what i do? Not at all. If anything, being ok in a field of some brilliant artists pushes me harder to create, inovate, and enjoy what i do.

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That is correct. People really need to learn how to be happy with themselves. Fix what you don't like about yourself, and keep on truckin'.

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Why compare yourself to others? You are unique. There's no one like you. Why do it?

Comparing yourself to other people too often can be harmful if you suffer from low self-esteem. It can make you feel like you're small, dumb,or not worth shit. I know this from my own experience.

1

never say never

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