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I just had a mind blowing conversation with my fundamental christian mother. We discussed the bible, evolution, the universe, and other light subjects.

She tearfully admitted that she does not believe the bible to be infallible. She said that it was obviously, "too full of man".

She politely asked me to stop because I was, "crumbling the last foundations of her faith".

I informed her that I wasn't attempting to do that, but that I was glad she was willing to talk about it with me.

I never thought this day would come.

She told me that she thought I was very intelligent and thoughtful and that she admired me.

Up until today, I was only described as wayward and sinful.

Oh, happy day!

By Donotbelieve9
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A mother's love is a blessing

Tooreen Level 6 Apr 23, 2019

You didn't read the rest of the thread did you?

Of course not.

There are no such things as blessings and my mother is lucky that I even speak to her. I wouldn't know about her "love".

How about putting effort into your responses instead of just blurting bullshit clichés?

@Donotbelieve here I was thinking you had a reconciliation evidently not.How thoughtless I was to be happy for you if you did.

@Tooreen I'd first need to desire a reconciliation.

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That's awesome, thankfully my parents have always been supportive but we've had minor disagreements over the decades.

Reuniting and drawing closer together is awesome, I'm glad and impressed you did so with a fundamentalist parent!

Oh, she reverted quickly and we will NEVER be close. That ship sailed a long time ago.

It was nice to see a glimmer of intelligence, that is all.

Edited
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Some headway. Good.

tioteo Level 7 Mar 29, 2019

Update

She's fully reverted.
Oh, well.

There was a glimmer of hope.

@Donotbelieve Sorry.

@tioteo It's okay. I got a bit of confirmation that my mother isn't a mindless droid. That was nice.

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Glad to see she still understands and supports your views, many aren't that fortunate.

I don't think she does, but she can't argue that I have a better quality of life and that I am much happier than she is.

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That must've been SUCH a gratifying moment! I hope your relationship continues to grow. "Coming out" isn't easy for anyone...admitting you've been wrong in a deeply-held belief. Good for her. (And, I'm very sorry about the ''wayward and sinful'' insults. Those must hurt.)

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Ahh nice. My mom is just a conformist that wishes I were a conformist.

She has reverted, but there was a glimmer...if only for a brief moment.

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That's awesome

kuali Level 4 Mar 3, 2019
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That's wonderful that your mother complimented you; it doesn't matter ones age, good words from our mothers is heart-warming!

Rustee Level 7 Mar 3, 2019

True

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My heart aches that religion put pressure on yours and your mom's relationship. I hope everything gets better and better!

Angee Level 3 Feb 26, 2019

Oh, our issues have nothing to do with religion.

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My introduction to Christianity was having the elders in my family telling me I was going to burn in hell if I sinned. They didn't tell me what sin was and I didn't ask because I thought if I didn't know what it was I could get away with it. I think I was an atheist right out of the chute! I was constantly asking questions about the loving god and his role in disasters, starving children, wars and all the other stuff that seemed out of step with an earthly Christian paradise. I am constantly amazed at seemingly stable, Intelligent people who would gladly have the bible as the law of the land. Brainwashing is hard to overcome. I hope your mother finds the peace she seeks.

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The reason most people still believe it's because they're scared of not believing. They haven't told their whole life but if they stop believing they are bad people and thus the fear drives them to believe even harder than before

BenjaminP Level 3 Feb 23, 2019

True, but it's also a tie to lost family and she fears hell.

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Wow I’m so torn about this...partly because I envy your situation and partly because I feel so bad for your mother, it is so much more difficult to deconstruct later in life. Backfire effect,

Don't feel bad. She is fine. She's right back to her delusions. ?

@Donotbelieve well, don’t lose hope...a seed doesn’t grow over night. It has to watered with doubt and “critical thinking” ?

@KChristopher Thanks.

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Congrats for escaping hell..

Charlene Level 9 Feb 17, 2019
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Coming away from fundamentalist thinking is huge. You could maybe introduce her to scholars like Joseph Campbell who somewhat "bridge the gap" between fundamentalists and atheists. The concept of The Bible as metaphor.

“Half the people in the world think that the metaphors of their religious traditions, for example, are facts. And the other half contends that they are not facts at all. As a result we have people who consider themselves believers because they accept metaphors as facts, and we have others who classify themselves as atheists because they think religious metaphors are lies.”
― Joseph Campbell, Thou Art That: Transforming Religious Metaphor

Lutherzme Level 8 Feb 15, 2019

@Atlas_Rising Wasn't suggesting converting anyone to anything, but whatever dude.

@Atlas_Rising When did atheism become a belief system? To me it fits the definition I've always heard. It is the absence of belief. We have no "holy" book,no code of conduct,no edifice to repair to and sing our chants and praises. We just don't believe in god, any god.. I'm sure you've heard this before. I am just curious as to why you refer to atheism as a belief system.

Edited

@Atlas_Rising Your reply sounds like "84" doublespeak. "Non belief is still belief" Non belief in the Atheist context is merely the absence of belief in any supreme supernatural being. is not something one believes in, you accept the conclusions arrived at by testing and peer review with the knowledge that in the future it may be disproved and a new conclusion takes it place. When you speak of a "higher truth" you sound like you are telling us there is something out there that we must find and pay homage to. Christians do that. I live my life attuned to Nature and the realization that this is the only existence I will have. We have evolved the first spark of life in the Sea and the human race will one day evolve out of being. Such is our lot.

Edited
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That's a great victory

motrubl4u Level 7 Feb 15, 2019

I suppose so, but she's the only one struggling.

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My 72 year old Southern Baptist sister has gotten much more liberal with age--and two bouts with cancer. When she told me that evolution had to have taken place, I nearly fell over. When she said that IF god existed (and she was quick to say that she believed "it" did) that NO ONE understood what "it" was, I did fall over. Her faith gives her comfort and she hurts no one; she does not try to convert people. Let her have her faith.

I never tried to erode her faith. Nor did I bring up this subject. I avoid such topics with family.

She is not quite as harmless as your sister, however, especially where my children are concerned. My mother has crossed the line quite a number of times.

Other than those differences, I agree, let them think what they want. As long as they keep it to themselves.

@Donotbelieve I think my sister is exceptional! My mother was a mess, and we have both striven not to be like her.

@Gwendolyn2018 I completely understand.

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Well done. And you have a good mother!

Do not.

@Donotbelieve, I mean just in this context, because they generally just relentlessly fight you and never give up, calling you heretical!...heretical!

@Merseyman1 Ah. Then, you are correct.
I was quite surprised when she revealed her opinion of me.

It was nice. I did not require her approval but to know that someone thinks well of you is always a nice feeling. Especially when you're just being yourself, warts and all.

Edited
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What a wonderful conversation to have. Parental acceptance is a hard won thing sometimes and very precious.

Sunny2019 Level 2 Feb 12, 2019

I won it when I wasn't seeking it. That's the best.

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Sounds like her critical thinking mode is starting to take over.

Sandman07 Level 4 Feb 12, 2019

I hope so. It's about time. ?

@Donotbelieve I admire and respect your attitude and conduct. I have often been too much of an atheist. Blind faith and refusal to do critical thinking can anger me if I let it.

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Congrats. And I’m glad you didn’t instigate this, but allowed her to come to her own conclusion about it. There’s no need to make her feel any worse than she already must feel. I hope you get closer to your mother.

Thank you, but our relationship is beyond repair. I am just glad that she's not as mindless as I had initially thought.

@Donotbelieve That's unfortunate. I totally get it. There is totally such a thing as too little, too late. And for what it's worth, that might be some poor ass way your mom is apologizing for all the shit she did when you were younger. My dad has yet to say, "I'm sorry." The most he'll do is, "I regret," expecting me to say something to make him feel better. I'm done with all that, so whenever he goes on his tirades, I say, "yeah," or "no," because I can't be that mindless of a robot for him.

@Friskycat Exactly. I harbor no ill will, but I do not require or even desire a relationship or reconciliation.

I allow them to be grandparents. They are aware of what a privilege that is. They are respectful, for the most part, and I return the gesture. That is all.

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I sincerely hope this is a break through in what sounds like previously strained relationship. Congratulations to you both.

Matty315 Level 4 Feb 1, 2019
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Wow. Just... wow.

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Wanna talk about a miracle this sounds like it may qualify, lol

Howarth Level 6 Jan 22, 2019
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My 87 year old mom lives by, and will die peacefully in her faith. Of her five children two of us are atheists. I'm disturbed that kids are indoctrinated like I was before they have a chance to decide. OTOH my brother and I did decide and are doing great in our freedom to explore, but I digress. Confronted with the reality that her beliefs taught her to believe that we were going to hell, rather than accept that horrific nonsense her beliefs have evolved in such a way that she sees the grace of God as being sufficient for all of us. Too bad more Christians aren't like our moms. Namaste!

mconner74 Level 3 Jan 17, 2019
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Thats amazing to be able to have that conversation with your mom!

It was very unexpected.

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