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I just had a mind blowing conversation with my fundamental christian mother. We discussed the bible, evolution, the universe, and other light subjects.

She tearfully admitted that she does not believe the bible to be infallible. She said that it was obviously, "too full of man".

She politely asked me to stop because I was, "crumbling the last foundations of her faith".

I informed her that I wasn't attempting to do that, but that I was glad she was willing to talk about it with me.

I never thought this day would come.

She told me that she thought I was very intelligent and thoughtful and that she admired me.

Up until today, I was only described as wayward and sinful.

Oh, happy day!

Donotbelieve 9 Sep 13
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134 comments

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0

Good news! It seems she is overcoming her fear to see the light.

@Donotbelieve I'm wondering if she'd be open to reading about the Humanists and their thoughts about living a good life without gods?

@Donotbelieve Well...they have lots of publications...intelligent, logical and loving.

@Donotbelieve My favorite is, now that I actually know the bible, I can come back with any accusation of evil with, Have you read in the bible.....? What is more evil than what god/the ancients condoned in the bible?

0

My Mom basically told me that she doesn’t believe it all, but if she didn’t believe some, her world would crumble. At least she admitted to not being completely brainwashed.

@Donotbelieve Ask your Mom if Jesus ever bopped the monkey?

@FlyingEagle1952 That was pretty rude.

9

Sounds to me like your mother has been crumbling her own faith, probably for quite some time, and that she's a very intelligent woman who, like many others, never felt free to express her intelligence and free-thinking. I hope she's about to start doing so!

Jnei Level 8 Sep 13, 2018

Good for her! Tell her she's got a friend in England she's never met who's rooting for her! 🙂

0

My grandmother was a hateful southern baptist. On her death bed she realized that she was a bad person all of her life and asked me to apologize to those that she she was hateful towards. I am glad that you seem to be connecting positively with your mother. It is a tough go to realize that everything that you knew to be true is now in question. Give her big hugs and lots of love.

@linxminx I do not know. I could tell you stories though. ?

0

Gratz! How's she feeling now? Obviously I don't know your relationship but if I was in your shoes I think I'd do something light-hearted with her to try and make her feel better. It's got to be rough going through that.

1

I love my mother to death, however she became a devoted Christian when her mom died.
Today, speaking about anything god or religion is basically a sin"
I have learned not to bring the subject up about my belief or the lack of an it keeps me in check with her.
She likes to set mental traps to see where I'm standing about her god; learned how to recognize them and take another route.
Still, I'm still considered a devil enabler and surely" heading to hell...

I'm so sorry! Is she logical in other areas of life? How old is she?

@LucyLoohoo

She is very logical as far as her age allows it (90 years old). We do have intelligent conversations about politics and society at large.
The only big problem is her beliefs; at times they could hinder any communication.

@Luiggi I'm sorry. We never know what's going on in 90=-year-old brains! I'm glad she's satisfied with her beliefs and hope it makes her passing easier. She'll need them soon, rather than later. You're a good son!

1

Mother Theresa said very late in life that she had not felt the presence of God in her life for over 50 years. It's never too late for humanism and reason.

Yes, and that she kept on for the good she KNEW she was giving to the needy. Strong lady to admit it. Lots of flack because of it though.

That evil bitch withheld pain medication from suffering patients because their suffering "brought them closer to God. If there were a hell she would be rotting in it, as far as I am concerned.

0

Congrats. And I’m glad you didn’t instigate this, but allowed her to come to her own conclusion about it. There’s no need to make her feel any worse than she already must feel. I hope you get closer to your mother.

@Donotbelieve That's unfortunate. I totally get it. There is totally such a thing as too little, too late. And for what it's worth, that might be some poor ass way your mom is apologizing for all the shit she did when you were younger. My dad has yet to say, "I'm sorry." The most he'll do is, "I regret," expecting me to say something to make him feel better. I'm done with all that, so whenever he goes on his tirades, I say, "yeah," or "no," because I can't be that mindless of a robot for him.

0

Well done. And you have a good mother!

@Donotbelieve, I mean just in this context, because they generally just relentlessly fight you and never give up, calling you heretical!...heretical!

1

Wow I’m so torn about this...partly because I envy your situation and partly because I feel so bad for your mother, it is so much more difficult to deconstruct later in life. Backfire effect,

@Donotbelieve well, don’t lose hope...a seed doesn’t grow over night. It has to watered with doubt and “critical thinking” ?

0

Some headway. Good.

@Donotbelieve Sorry.

0

A mother's love is a blessing

@Donotbelieve here I was thinking you had a reconciliation evidently not.How thoughtless I was to be happy for you if you did.

0

Happy day for you, the fact that she has opened her mind to the possibility that everything in the bible is not true is just the first step for her. It must be hard for her to face the fact that everything she has always believed in is not infallible after all. She is able to rationalise in her head that is due to manmade mistakes in the writing of it rather than the message itself being wrong. Doubt has crept in and that is the first step towards considering that the whole thing might just be wrong, Take things slowly, and hopefully after more discussions with her she may see more of your point of view. I am sure it must have been a wonderful change to hear your mother say these lovely words in your praise. I feel like giving you a hug too.

@Donotbelieve Thank you, I mean them.

0

You've reached your quota for a couple years now.

godef Level 7 Sep 13, 2018

@Donotbelieve You go girl!

1

Wow! It sounds like she might be ready for a new start without religion. I cried when i realized there was no god, but eventually there is acceptance and love and life goes on... and I'm happier than I ever was as a christian ?

I don't mean to minimize her feelings or yours. I hope i didn't sound insensitive.

0

Now seriously, take extra care about old people going out of faith. They might not be able to handle the values, social life and community support changes that this change of hearts bring.
If this progress be prepared to become the guide and for some time her only real social contact and support.

5

Don't be too happy about this. You have helped her see the light, granted, but you have also taken away her security, her sense that there is always Someone out there who will take care of her. You will need to help her build a new set of coping skills so she doesn't feel cast adrift. My suggestion would be to not push it, and to let her set the direction of any conversations you have on this topic. Her fellow church members could also work together to convince her that Satan is using you to lead her astray, so she's not out of the woods yet. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, just my two cents' worth.

@Donotbelieve I have heard of a lot of broken families due to religion because the religious parents feel like they need to punish you to make you believe. It's sad and they loose their opportunity to be an actual parent and be there for you. Instead they ate there for god which is a false since of security and to me a mental illness that people need this crutch to feel secure. They beat their children to get the demons out. They lecture you about belief. All in all when are they actually there for you? Never if all they Sonia follow the Bible on how to raise you instead of coming up with their own conclusions. I am with You and you shall not be judged!

0

B-i-b-l-e, basic information before leaving earth

Baseless information perhaps?

basic fantasy brainwashing bullshit before leaving earth

0

Know the TRUTH and the TRUTH shall set you free. ****

**** One thing JC was right about.
Atheism will eventually win....we have the TRUTH

Reading the Bible will turn you into and atheist.

That's exactly what happened to me. @FlyingEagle1952

0

Sounds like her critical thinking mode is starting to take over.

@Donotbelieve I admire and respect your attitude and conduct. I have often been too much of an atheist. Blind faith and refusal to do critical thinking can anger me if I let it.

0

Congratulations! It sounds like it was a very civil and thoughtful discussion. These are not always possible, even with family. It seems you may have breached a barrier to understanding. Now all you need to do is show her how to fill that void of faith with an acceptance of reality and why that isn’t a bad thing. Little steps at a time.

2

I couldn't imagine having that conversation with my fundamentalist mother. I hope yours turns out good for both of you. I don't know why some people have such a hard time letting go of false beliefs.

2

It's really impressive that you were able to get past the usual knee-jerk defensiveness. You must really have great communication skills. You may have reinforced the cracks in her belief. Maybe she'll come to her senses. Brava!

0

Wow! I wish more people would see the light...

0

What an awesome day for your relationship with your mother!

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