I could use some words of wisdom, friends. I don't have any family to turn to. I am all alone here. I turned to this community for support. Please, be gentle if you have some harsh words. I do hope for some constructive feedback, but if negative, please, message me privately. I don't want to start a controversial thread.
So, I am the only Caucasian empoyee at the branch of an educational institution. I drive an hour each way to work and for the most part I really enjoy teaching and I feel like I am making a difference. But this is week 5 and I am really struggling not giving a F, as my friend suggests. I am experiencing a strong issue of racism rearing up its ugly head. I was encouraged to speak to a higher up, which I did. He basically told me that since no one actually said out loud the words black vs white it's in my head and I am probably just gunnysacking. I left unheard. I resigned to just sweep it under the rug and keep on trucking. But the problem persists. Today, the problem surfaced again in an ugly way and I am struggling. I've never been a racist, dated people of different races and ethnicities. But today, more than ever, I am seeing the racism toward me, as a minority here. I am the only educator at this branch as well. The other 2 individuals are support staff. I am doing my best to help all my students, esp the ones who are very low academically. yet, I am told that I am singling a black student out. He's been disrepectful toward me on a few occassions and not doing his work. Just collecting his hours. Then he got brave enough to call me a F B the very next day, got suspended for a few days and everything is hush hush now. No one spoke to me about the incident. More has happened since. I used to go to work excited to teach, but now I am scared to open my mouth. For the first time in 8 months I have medical insurance and benefits, a FT job. I am not a quitter. But I am really struggling with the lack of team work and support in helping these students. I don't know if I should go higher up in the chain of command, to the president of the educational faciltiy or just continue to document things, gunnysack them, as the previous person stated. I don't want to stir anything, especially as a new teacher. But the hostility is so blatantly open it scares me. On one of my lunch breaks one support staff saw me on this site and gasped before I realized he was looking over my shoulder. He Asked me if I am one, to which I replied that I don't discuss my faith or politics at work. I am at a total loss. If I just continue documenting nothing is going to change and I am going to drag my feet with work. If I speak out I might not be heard, as no one actually said the word race. I don't want to be paranoid and start recording every encounter. What would you do? THanks