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Bad, bad, bad advice. What is the WORST advice someone ever gave you out of love?

HippieChick58 9 Jan 27
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3

To settle, that it was better than being alone.

There are far worse things than being alone.

2

My mom's advice from the 50's . Always pay for the meal , always be the one that opens & holds the door , ladies first . . . I know what modern women look for : Equality & "Mutual" Respect . It's either taking turns paying for the evening , or Dutch-Treat .

On another subject , "If you don't remember what you were thinking about , then it was a lie". Big Bad Lie that should have been forgotten , if that was true !

Dougy Level 7 Jan 28, 2018
3

"If you really love someone, you won't want anyone else."

Read up on the 80/20 relationship rule.

@HeyHiHello just looked it up. The problem is that the 20 percent I was sacrificing was the wrong 20 percent. Turns out that sex and sexual chemistry is a heck of a lot more important than society tells us it is.

3

“If he teases you, it’s a sign that he likes you.” This statement was said often to make me “feel better” for being bullied. Basically take it as a compliment that a guy makes fun of you. What are we teaching here? In order to be acceptable to a guy, he must tease you and you must take it? I never understood that.

It's immature , but a common practice & unwritten law (B.S.) . It is also socially & emotionally dysfunctional . I've often wondered the same thing .

or when the boy snaps your bra he's only teasing or showing that he notices you.

4

God will balance things out....ugh. give it to the Lord. Trust in god.

Fuck that! 😉

3

My family is from Sicily. I lived 2 separate ways. I never listened to anything they said. I felt suffocated and couldn't wait to book out of there. I couldn't conform and still don't.

2

Since those that try to give me advice out of love always complaint that I don't fucking listen. No bad, bad, bad advice that I remember. Greatest advice ever? "50 percent of something is larger that 100 percent of nothing." I am so glad that I listened that one time. I always been the kind of person that do not discuss anything until after the fact. Kind of a solo act were blame can be put on one sole individual. That way "I did it to myself" is a true statement and not bitching.

4

"Dumb yourself down for the man, don't argue, wait on him hand and foot, be "smart" if he cheats..." yada yada old wives' shit. If I didn't listen, maybe I would have saved myself from some terrible relationships of my younger days.

@evestrat omg yes! Don't you dare hurt fragile male ego...smh

3

I've never gotten relationship advice because I've never really shown interest in sex. I guess my parents were contributors to that because they are still together and hate each other. "Until death do us part."

When the relationship dies, one will part... in some way...

5

The entire fairytale stories we are lead to believe.
Knight in shining armor, white picket fences, friends forever...
In the end, we are a species programmed to perpetuate. It is what it is.
Women scope out men just as much, if not more, than men scope out women, they don't get caught doing it as easily. Looking for the upgrade or best suitor if she is not 90%+ happy in her current situation. She'll rarely downgrade.

6

When my now ex-husband was abusive, I was to go back to him and "serve him like it says in the bible." This was from my mother. She really believes that shit...

Any abuse is a relationship dealbreaker

4

Don't break up with the bf who thinks yelling is okay. (Thanks, Mom, but I don't take relationship advice from codependents who married sex-offenders they met on the internet.)

Sounds like someone needed anger management

4

That I’ll never find someone at my current weight who will accept me. And she was a therapist and my step aunt. I feel bad for her patients.

From the relationship coach I've been listening to on youtube, be what you want to attract, and to always value yourself.

Oh thank you. That means a lot to me. @MrLizard

4

My ex predicted I would marry a woman who needed me....sooooo wrong I need competent compatibility or as the Japanese put it : " NOURISHING PARTNERSHIP "

Partners shouldn't "need" each other. Each should be their own self-actualized being that "want" and challenge each other.

@HeyHiHullo Maslov ditto

8

When I was in my mid teens (1973) my mom's family had a reunion, and two of mom's sisters and their families brought my sisters and I along with them to Florida for the reunion. Mom had died a few months before and this prompted the semiannual family reunions. One of my uncles gave me the worst advice ever, but for the time it was pretty normal. He told me to never let a boy/man know that I was smarter than he was. It would destroy my chances of finding a husband.

Unc was half right "showing our intelligence " as my dad put it scares off the stupid we wouldn't want to marry anyway

Oh look, is that a penny on the floor?
Lol 😉

@HeyHiHullo if it is a 1909 VDB penny it's worth half a million$ Teddy Roosevelt signed the fucked up law putting IN god WE TRUST on all coins that year and presses stamped 100 thousand with the engravers initials VDB whereupon theocracy was scheduled to be engraved....this last LEGAL minting was declared a mistake for the criminal theocratic lies thereafter minted ...this asshole President vetoed the bust of Thomas Paine scheduled for the Capitol Old Rotunda calling him a : " filthy little Atheist " Unitarian President Taft welcomed Deist Paine into the democratic shrine months later

Pretentiousness is unattractive . I overlook it for awhile , but if she doesn't come out as she is , I loose interest . If I still pursue the matter after that , just to be polite or pass the time , I loose respect for myself , & the relationship , & that make me look like a heinous jackass . It's best to call it out , & move on . . .

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