Finding "the right person" is imbued with so many tragic flaws from the outset, I'm not sure how it is ever a viable concept.

First you have to assume you will always be the same person, always. I know I am not the same person I was and that has changed who is a suitable friend.

Then you have to assume the other person will remain the same person always.

And then you have to assume life events will affect you in the same ways and you will always have the same goals.

Maybe it can happen with dedication and lots of hard work and even then the perils are monstrous.

So I say, enjoy the friends you have as much as you can for as long as you can. And always try to make the partings warm and friendly. It's probable they are a necessary part of life.

Pheromones ? probably play a bigger part then we would like to admit.

The sense of smell is extremely underrated. Especially the effects of unscented pheromones.

There is no right person. Just acceptable ones.

Yes,locations matter a great deal,sure, you can use any of the dating sites and maybe find a good match,but only after a face to face meeting while looking for "Chemistry",can you determine a potential relationship that might be viable.

Unconscious is just the part you aren't seeing, right? So, it is totally possible to be influenced by parts of our personality we are unaware of. Think of how conditioned each one of us is to our environment - both biologically and psychologically. That conditioning is always acting out like a breath or a heartbeat while we are thinking of other things.

Trusting our instincts is important, but we have to be careful at a point and examine ourselves. It is possible that we have been conditioned to dysfunction during our lives and we may be acting out of that dysfunction. It's tricky, to be sure.

For me, it always comes back to a simple question: is this feeling or behavior based in fear or love? That means I have to know what things are fear and realize that decisions made from that motivator are only good for emergencies. If it isn't an emergency, then a fear motivated action wil be partial, selfish, and of short term value.

If you are able to be honest with yourself and find out what is fueling you in that situation, then you'll know if what you are doing or who you are spending time with is a good idea. That approach seems to be pretty good for me so far, at least.

All the best!

Best said by Chemistry. Both as a process and experience. To "have chemistry" with someone can not be fabricated. You can expand attraction by rationalizing it with a criteria, and you can minimize attraction by the same, but opposite approach. But once that oxytocin dances with dopamine in the VTA accumbens you're toast!

Well, there's always someone who feels right to us. The problem sometimes is finding that person.

Studies show that when people make a list of what they want in a lifetime mate, it usually doesn't match the reality of who attracts them.
People are usually drawn to the familiar, no matter how negative..if your parents were gaslighting emotional abusers, those are the types of lovers likely to attract you at a subconscious level.

People aren't aware of this, of course, and keep blaming their abusive relationships on "bad luck" but then go right back into a similar relationship. To justify their behavior they go to great lengths to explain it away, and make excuses, but they don't really know why they do it.

To access and reset unconscious relationship settings, people can do NLP hypnotherapy, take ayahuasca, magic mushrooms, or do meditation.

BBC reported that both ayahuasca and magic mushrooms can reset the brain and cure depression, ptsd, etc., if used carefully.

I honestly think that a 100% compatability from the start is probably not possible.
However a fairly good % can turn into a significant bond as each other gets to know each other better,.....mostly, it could go the other way as well.
I like to choose option A, not sure why, maybe i'm just a hopeful person.

Sometimes you believe that you have found the right person, but there are so many variables.

I thought that I found the right woman. I told her that we would never vacinate our kids. She didn't say a word--not keen in communicating. The first and most stupid thing that she did was to vaccinate my kids. Today I have a mentally disabled son thanks to her stupidity.

Probably for most people, their "conscious self" doesn't necessarily mesh with their "unconscious self." For some, though, it does. I'm working on it.

Screening potential contacts to avoid wasting time with utterly inappropriate matches certainly involves meeting in person and sharing some activities and social interaction. Testable results of reproducible experimentation and observation in nature. You are talking about holding a clear view of an individual's personality in relationship to yours, this is no small task.

The suggestion one may screen by correspondance is confounded by a falsifiable hypothesis. Truth is the intellectually lazy, amoral, criminal and immoral do inherently seek to misrepresent themselves socially, an exponentially easier task by correspondance. Extremely inconsiderate people can be conversationally generous, whilst dismissively interfering with the well being of others quite routinely by their disassociated actions. Such people may satisfy a tabled criteria and yet during physical interaction fail the very purpose of the criteria.

The pitfall to be avoided is projecting your own intellectual construct onto your potential desires for an individual prospect. You do need an awareness of our human duality, the influence of our own psychology upon our impression of others. It is not an element we ought combat diametrically, as we are more inclined to delude ourselves to some degree about people we find attractive, so in a sense we must invite some amount of perceptual colouring to find an inspiring and romantic relationship alongside some necessary compatibilities.

Obviously the most basic compatibilities, to avoid a folly of sweeping generalizations should be extreme, for example you might begin with recognizing someone whom is a serial killer would be incompatible. Perhaps someone involved in criminal drug culture would be incompatible. Or perhaps you're a serial killer looking for a partner, or smoke the weed and don't care where your boyfriend gets his money from so long as he has wealth to afford you luxurious lifestyle and free drugs. Different strokes for different folks.

It may sound a bit extreme, these examples however they illustrate the point with their extremity. Compatibility means you cannot tolerate the behaviour of someone utterly inappropriate and yet you'd be surprised to consciously regard just how many young-heart relationships completely discard the concept. And predictably fail.

This is what you're screening for. The rest is just getting along. Some common interests help, but you can have those with a serial killer or a criminal drug dealer despite an intolerance for their behaviour. And don't kid yourself: routines become pathology and they'll treat you the way they treat other acquaintences at some point.

As I mentioned, earlier generally the common outlay of utter incompatibility lay simply in behavioural routines based in personal outlook, such as getting by through life with such intellectual laziness as to be completely dismissive of other's well being by routine actions, despite being conversationally generous with them, which takes no effort greater than a salesman's silver tongue and is learned by most people in developed nations by late primary school. Depending upon the point within their background the individual elected to halt further personal development, this routine behaviour, ie. pathology can range from being a thug and bully, whilst playing victim to simply being inconsiderate and full of crap. Now the important point is a thug isn't a thug around other thugs, they're just another person. Inconsiderate people who talk in opposites are also beautiful rays of sunshine within their own clique too. It is with people who do not practise their routines in which issue is frought.

Hence people often refer to clique-ing with someone they meet serendipitously, although many refer to it as clicking and have no idea what it means. Some people think clicking means they turn you on sexually, which is kind of the opposite of what clique-ing means. Frequently threat response in a social environment can be indeterminable from sexual arousal, threat response is a form of biological arousal and you simply need to sexualise it, consciously or otherwise to become confused. Awareness of your social clique helps cut confusion.

Now maybe you have your quirks, I know that people who refer to themselves as a dog person who hates cats or says things like scientists don't know everything are blatant descriptors of individuals well outside my social clique. It's not that I'm opposed to them, they just don't like me and at length, I cannot tolerate the behavioural pathology inferred by such statements, they'll be people that don't take handling dangerous goods very seriously when handling dangerous goods and things like that, which I can't abide.

Hopefully this rant has given you some ideas on the post subject.

Very interesting idea,thanx.

The right person is not that easy to find

I've found that if I meet someone online, then actually meet them in person, there's no connection, or attraction. Maybe I put too much expectations on myself. Obviously, I have not met that right person yet.

I would agree on the concept that we may mesh best with someone more naturally than trying to find someone based on a list or other expectations. However, my instincts tend to fail me often. I end up misreading high or low and its usually the low I chase after; to be clear low being less likely to reciprocate. High has resulted in some very bad experiences that scare me away from even seeking the partner I can appreciate and be appreciated by. I have reached a point where I doubt that the happy medium doesn't exist and if it did I wouldn't have a clue. In addition because of the bad and good old classical/operant conditioning I can also be overly critical.

Yeah I know, I'm slightly damaged, lol.

I’ve found that the more I plan things, the less successful the connection becomes.
I met a woman last night listening to music with her friend and felt that incredibly strong connection immediately. As in, Unplanned.

I think we are all soul mates, so anyone could be someone special to you. But our human proclivities make that harder with some than others.

I think you point out the failure point of so many dating websites! They try to predict who is right for you and, perhaps, you don't agree. Or you find someone who is physically attractive and you find out they love Trump. (Sorry, had to!)

Time together is what tells the story! That is why I like this site so much... One can see and read who they are and what they think by their pictures and posts. A huge advantage over other sites!

Like the old saying goes… it's all fun and games until you hook up with a serial killer.LOL

Well not sure what you mean to mesh. There is alot of people you can be compatable with. you can find someone who is right for you. The problem are those who lie to you. They are noy the ones you should even consider being with. I think a rough check list is needed. One youneed to have some pysical attraction to them. Then a mental conection! Then some common likes and dislikes.