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Hello, I'm new here. My husband recently cheated on me and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Anybody else in a similar situation?

daitheflu317 6 Oct 13
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14 comments

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0

Hii, I don't have a experience like this, but believe me, I will definitely change ur thinking about this problem

0

When I was in your situation, the forums dedicated to this on MarriageBuilders.com were extremely helpful. ESPECIALLY if you want to and are willing to try to stay married.

0

Sounds like another one looking for something for nothing. Only thing I know of, is to forgive yourself for caring for the A-hole, look deep and see if theres any value in continuing to invest your life in him, and move on accordly. Good luck with your decisions

0

I am sorry to hear about your husband, i don't know why people cheat on their partner. That's irritating

2

It happened to me. We were actually in a good place because things were moving in the right direction after some positive changes. It came out of the blue and demoralized me. We tried to make it work, but I couldn't deal with the lost if trust and the potentially dangerous situation she put me in. I eventually ended it as it had become unhealthy. It was a true loss and I hurt more from the time invested and the blatant slap in the face it was to me.

1

My dad gave me the whole Biblical spiel about marriage when mine ended. Mine was an emotional cheat too, not a physical one, but the trust was still broken. She allegedly broke it off, but I don't want to be in a relationship where I feel like I have to check the other person's phone. I don't want to be that guy.

That said, everyone is different, love can overcome many things. Whether you reconcile or not, I hope you find happiness.

1

I have been through that experience as well. Tis not easy. Of course my husband had cheated on just about everyone he ever dated, so I should have seen that coming. That being said, I have a very close friend who went through this, and they're still married. They worked it out. It wasn't easy, and there was therapy involved, but they made it.

1

It happened to me some years ago. Absolute worst thing I went through because I never saw it coming. I couldn't get past it but in retrospect, it was an emotional cheat. Not a "whorish" one. And I later realized I played a role in that. Had I seen it then the way I see it now, I could have forgiven it, and wish I did. But everyone's situation is different. If you can't trust him anymore, or if he's "a dog", you no longer have what you had and may as well move on. Us atheists know we only live once and it's our duty to be happy for ourselves. Good luck.

Very cool to recognize your own role in the play. I was completely monogamous, but fully acknowledge that I played a part in creating the soil rich for infidelity. I had pushed my ex away emotionally and physically, not realizing the damage it was doing. That does not, however, excuse the choice that was made. I would have tried. I would have forgiven. I didn't have a choice. They've now been together about 12 years.

0

Hi, I ready to get rid u from all hypertension, because of human life is very special

Huh? What are you actually trying to say? Rephrase maybe?

0

Sorry you had that experience.

Rather sure you are far from alone.

Brings to mind a study broadcast about a decade ago on NPR

The question this study was attempting to address is: are married men more or less faithful then their wives? To judge the honesty of wives, they asked the husbands if their children (born while married) were their genetic offspring of their husbands. All couples in the study and their children were genetically tested for paternity. Of the couples that asserted the children were the offspring of the married husband, The numbers were not good. I do remember England had the worst results with less then half of claimed children actually being the offspring of the husband. The United States were better but not by much. The conclusion of this study was the ratio infidelity of married men to married women was roughly equal.

@daitheflu317 and sad.

0

Sorry about your situation

2

Yep and he is now married her. My children basically hate me. My daughter even posted on FB, 'thank goodness I have a lovely new Mum'. (He had told them loads of lies about me). I have a tentative relationship with my boys and a new relationship but to be honest I felt destroyed.

Sorry you encountered that ass-hat.

Sad some people lack what I would like to believe should be a fundamental empathy for the well-being of others within their circles. To use children as a pawn in the game of asserting superiority over others is unconscionable.

Although never married, I once devoted many years of my life attempting to faithfully rescue a traumatized woman possessed with a litany of self-destructive tendencies that included her being a sex-addict. Although time with her, she was very bright and lovely, occasionally felt great, for the most part, I am better off living alone.

@Bierbasstard They are afults. My girl is 27.

0

Are there children from your marriage? Kids are far more resilient than we believe,they may have a feeling things were not right between you two.

2

If i had a dime for every time someone told me i was "lucky to have a man of such fine character" my secretary would be typing this for me, from my yacht!
Either you have character, or you don't. Either you care for your partner's feeling and physical & mental wellbeing, or you don't. Liars enjoy the deception more than the actual fooling around!
Drop this tool like a bad habit, in one year or less, I promise, you will ask yourself why you didn't do it sooner.
The loneliest I have ever been was when I was married to that "fine man"... and i thought it was something wrong with me!

@Bierbasstard oh yes...first husband HAD to beat me to help me do things, like, have a piping hot dinner ready to eat when he stumbled in 3 hours late. Clearly my fault it was dried out & cold.
2nd hubby made everything so miserable when we did anything I felt might be fun to try, we Only did stuff he wanted, along with the cheating. All on me, yessirree.....

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