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Ever wish you could be the life of the party, the person everyone wants to get close to? Well now you can. The next time you’re at a party and someone or a couple of people keep droning on about politics or some other topic that has already been beaten to death, simply interject the following interesting tidbit of knowledge. There are four basic parameters of science: length, mass, time, and charge (as in electrical charge). That’s right there are only four and the standard units are: meter, kilogram, second, and Coulomb [m, kg, s, C]. Other parameters are more complex assemblages of these four. For example, energy is measured in Joules, J, which has units of kg m-squared / s-squared. Armed with this amazing fact, other party goers will think you are brilliant, funny, and a joy to be around; you’ll be seen as chic, a member of the in crowd. You’ll find yourself near the top of everyone’s invitee list.

Disclaimer: While the information is factual, results as a conversation starter may vary. Do not attempt espousing the info if you have bad breath, exude an unpleasant body odor, or are horribly obnoxious since no one will remain sufficiently close long enough to hear this profoundly amazing factoid. If a group of people starts to encircle you, locking arms, and chanting, put down any drinks you’re holding and extricate yourself from the premises immediately. These folks are probably members of a cult and if you become completely encircled, you’re a goner. Do not attempt to exhibit your brilliance while partying on-board a flying aircraft, as you might not be able to escape encirclement. Also, avoid any discussion of science when there are philosophy enthusiasts at the party. That is a can of worms you simply may not want to open.

TheAstroChuck 8 Oct 15
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7 comments

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2

Would it help if I were naked while I do this?

@TheAstroChuck WOW. So that’s the real secret. I know how to be popular now.

@TheAstroChuck Ummmm no. Those who know me know I’m a recluse. I’d probably never be found at such a party to begin with.

@TheAstroChuck Considering those living near me are rednecks I will happily stay home.

@TheAstroChuck I live about 45 min east of the city in rural Beaver County. I lived in the city about 8 years ago. It just got too crowded over the years so I moved out here where I have almost 20 acres. I had always been more of a loner even in the city. I stayed home mostly or I go places alone. I do have a few friends I might go out with a couple of times a month. I danced more as well back then. After moving out here I’ve become more of a recluse. I have no close neighbours. I only go out when it’s needed mostly for groceries and mail (no mail delivery to my place). I might go to a few events in the city but events in town are too hick for my tastes. I’ve met quite a few people around here and they are nice enough but not people I would hang out with. I still see my friends from the city but since it’s a bit of a drive we rarely get together anymore. My book club seems to be defunct at the moment. There are only 4 members in the book club so it’s a pretty cozy little gathering.

All that said, I’m actually good with people. Meaning I have good people skills. Most would say I’m very friendly and personable. I think they would be surprised if you tell them I’m a recluse or a loner.

@TheAstroChuck I don’t see why. I have little in common with the farmer and rancher folks. But I do run a business so I have to remain relatively civil.

@TheAstroChuck If they interacted with me may be they would wish they didn’t. I don’t think I fit with them like best buddies but for the most part we all get along.

0

Great advice! I'll try it next time. Oh, wait, I don't go to parties these days. Oh, well.

Does it work equal well at dinner parties?

1

You would be fun to party with!!

I agree!

2

It sounds like you are at the wrong parties. As a natural attention whore, I mean extrovert, let me tell you, what gets you to the center of the action at a fun party is dirty jokes, funny (if slightly self deprecating or slightly bragging) stories, so much flirting and lots of cleavage. Honestly, the whole personality bit is unnecessary, if you're willing to show enough tit. If you don't have tits, I have to strongly recommend being funny.

Showing lots of cleavage (and chest hair) has never done much for me.

@maturin1919 you're not wrong.

@maturin1919 oh, come on, all the girls like the dark Knight.

0

Sounds risky, and not only due to renegade philosophers and overly affectionate canines! Any mention of “energy” can bring out the Chopra/spirituality/pseudoscience crowd, which will start pontificating about “quantum” and other such things. (Am still looking for an effective deterrent for such people. Some kind of spray?)

6

I don't want to live in a world where a group of people encircling you, locking arms, and chanting is wrong dammit!

3

I am afraid the reality is that you will find yourself standing in the corner holding a lukewarm adult beverage with the dog humping your leg.

Did you at least get to keep the dog?

@Umbral I was speaking about someone else, so I am not sure if they got to keep the dog...however, as an accountant, I often experience the same reaction unless it is near April 15, at which time, I do become quite popular. 🙂

@thinktwice I was just teasing. ?

@Umbral Really? 😉

It is Obvious the dog & I are in a relationship, too cruel to try & keep us apart!

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