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What is LOVE? A feeling? A conditional decision? Perhaps Love is a choice. You can always choose Love. Some will only choose love if the other person looks a certain way. Some will choose Love based on loneliness or need. Some will choose Love because they live in Love and wish to share it. Would you choose one of these or another reason?

ReikiLevel3 4 Oct 19
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Love is complicated. It is a spontaneous feeling. It is also a choice: a choice to spend time with someone else, to prioritize them, to use whatever your love language is ( and what you oercieve theirs is if you think in those terms) to give to them. Sex may come and go, although it tends to bring a couple together. He feelings may always be present. But a choice to make a person your priority can be lifelong.

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I have generally gone with "love is a choice" or more exactly a decision to give the interests and needs of another a primacy at least equal to your own, at times (short of losing yourself) greater than your own.

That decision is, alas, often informed at first by initial impressions obtained through "love goggles" (the technical term is "cathexis" ). This is an unsustainable state of affairs. In pair-bonded relationships, there has to be a transition from "falling in love" to working at it as a priority over time. This requires loyalty, something in short supply today.

I would be lonely were I to be widowed a 2nd time but I would not seek another relationship because of it. No one can save me but myself. Healthy relationships aren't stayed in because of dependent need, but by choice. So if I expect to be rescued or need to rescue the other person, it's not going to work out, at least not on that basis.

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Love is a preference, and it is on a continuous spectrum, IMHO. 🙂

There. My poetic and romantic definition of Love.

But whatever it is, oftentimes it certainly ain't by choice.

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I have no opinion on the subject. Love is love is love.

I however, do wish to speak on the first three words of your post:

"What is LOVE?"

ahem

BABY DON'T HURT ME. DON'T HURT ME. NO MORE.

You beat me to it!

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Love? Love is the maximum enjoyment of another. ????????

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I think there are different levels of love.

My favorite being "I get you, you get me, you're attracted to me, I'm attracted to you, I got your back, you have mine" kind of love.

I also think this "if you don't trust someone you can't love them" is BS.
I love my dog to the moon & back, but would not trust him not to suck on my pillow, eat a squirrel or yell at service people.

E.g. Tigers are cool, LOVE them, but would not trust them with my life.

There are also people I have love for, but cannot have in my life.

@maturin1919 After too many experiences with humans I no longer believe in implicit trust.
I've had romantic love with men I didn't trust completely.
Trust is situational for me, that is until proven otherwise. I've yet to experience it.

@maturin1919 That's people!

Human nature can be pitiful.

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Love is a decision. I might have the hots for you and cannot keep my hands off you, but this will not last and will not hold up in the long term.

Sad

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Lots of different kinds of love. The French have five words for our word love. But I am guessing you are talking romantic love. I knew I was really in love with my husband, some months after going out, when I met his family. His family were like mine. We fit together like jigsaw pieces. I recall the feelings of floating on air, the colours being brighter. I was so happy. That passes soon enough. But the birth of our children...what we made together, brought us together in a greater way. We had comfortable silence, similar life views and values. And I knew we could travel around Australia in our retirement and still be best friends. I'm sorry if you have never experienced it. I experienced it just this once and feel incredibly lucky to have had this experience. He died young 18yrs ago but still I am lucky to have experienced this. Anything else would be a lovely bonus but I'm not too concerned if I don't meet someone else

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Love to me is a response to my own highest values in another — a response of both mind and body, of love and sexual desire.

@ReikiLevel3 I think love happens on a subconscious level, when someone experiences in another person their internalized values, both physically and psychologically. And, yes, love is conditional.

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