I agree, however I don’t think it’s wrong to offer to pay if you are a generous person who is making an honest gesture that doesn’t have any strings attached, male or female. I have had drinks bought for me on a date and I paid for dinner. Neither was discussed prior as any kind of “arrangement” it was just happened that way. Go with the flow would be my advice, for what it’s worth.

Back in the old days when I was dating, I always paid or offered to pay. That was expected then. If I invite someone out, I am responsible for the bill.

They been doing this in Sweden as a typical progressive dating .... since I 1st went to study there as a postgraduate student at Uppsala University, Sweden (Uppsala, Sweden) in 1980.

I personally think that if I asked the person out I should pay. It doesn't bother me to do that. I kind of enjoy doing that. If the person insists on pitching in on the date that can be done. I just think I should pay if I asked out the person. To me it would feel odd to split the meal or whatever the date is unless discussed before hand. In every date I have ever gone on I have paid.

In general, I'll ask her preference beforehand & go with whatever she's most comfortable with. It's not a big deal to me either way, whether I pay, or we split it... or she pays. It also helps establish a habit of direct communication very early in what could potentially become a meaningful relationship.

I always pay for the first date. It wouldn't even occur to me not to do so.

Splitting makes sense, plus I prefer a meeting, not a date, on a first get-together.

Depends. Sometimes (actually a lot of time) a woman would insist on the 50/50 thing as a shit test just to fuck with your masculinity. It's essentially meant to say that she's an independent woman and she doesn't need guys paying shit for her. If that's the case I would pick up the check, no question! But If I get a sense of entitlement vibe from our previous discussions, I would always go 50/50 and couldn't care less if she loses interest afterwards.

I'd expect to pay but if my date prefers to go Dutch that's fine also.

For the most part, I would go for the 50-50, but then alot depends on what kind of
"magic" or "communication"
between the two...before they met in person.

I have always determined if its a date, or a meet...if a date, the one asking for the date should pay, always. And with no "expections". If a meet, then by all means split the bill including the tip. Since you specified first date....one of you suggested a date. There you go. And there's, of course, nothing wrong with your rules. And I'm rambling again.

On the last date I had, the guy paid. I honestly don't remember if I offered to pay, but I did thank him for the meal.

Sounds equitable.

Agreed.

Some people say that whoever asks the other out should pay, but the other person didn't have to agree to go out with them. If you agree to go out with them then you should pay half. I think a lot of people use that just so if they don't like the person then they didn't have to be out any money for it. Or they already know they won't be into the person, but just wanted a free night out.

Then there are some people who will offer to pay half, but still accept the other's advance to not have them pay half, but then if they accept their offer to pay half they think negatively about them.

You can't win lol

My wife and I began dating in 1974 when what we called "Women's Lib" was a hot topic. She always insisted on paying half on dates and that was fine with me. Now the majority of our retired income is from HER pension which is still fine with me. If I was dating now after a restaurant meal I would pick up the check and pay it unless my date offered to pay half. I frequently do the same think when I eat in a restaurant with one or more guys but must admit I expect the guys to offer chip in.

If nothing else, I personally insist on tipping. Having worked my whole life in the service industry, I tend to tip very well. If my date wants to match it, even better!

This issue is not the most important... However, I always bring a few bucks just in case.

I think the person who asked for the date should pay.

That is the trend now. Girls don't want to feel obligated to sex, like in the old days of daterape..

In my view, the gentleman should pay if he's asked for a real date. Later on, I'd offer to go 50/50 but it's important to me that he not be a cheapskate on the first date. I also love getting flowers, but you can be sure he'll get a thoughtful gift down the road also. Make the effort, be a gentleman, and once she knows she's dealing with a gentleman, a lady won't take advantage of his generosity down the road. Let it evolve to 50/50, don't insist on starting that way.

I like your style! Going Dutch is, strangely, a great way to stay out of dutch.

Unless he specificly asks "Can I buy you dinner" I assume it's going to be 50/50 and always offer.

Agreed. 50/50 all the way. If you're honest and fair with each other it's the most respectable way to go about it. Although I'm not sure I could do that in the moment.

Men pay on first date. The next date to me is either 50/50 or the woman.