I wrote this a long time ago in a dark time. When I wrote it though it was a great relief to me to express it.. I never showed anyone this for years.
For me, it was a relief to express it.
Invisible
I almost became invisible,
I almost disappeared.
I almost willed myself away.
I sealed my soul until it couldn't be heard,
I faded and receded, faded and receded......
I couldn't bear to let my pain show,
and it was too immense to hide,
My eyes could not hide the calling from deep inside,
a calling of help you see,
That I feared may be answered,
that I feared would never be heard,
I almost became invisible, I almost disappeared,
I cast my soul down,it's matte surface didn't reflect the
light, the sun or love.
I almost became invisible,I almost disappeared
I was the word not spoken
the path not taken
*****the path of most resistance.
I am the forgotten dream
***as the morning light wipes away the night darkness
I almost became invisible,
almost disappeared,
I almost willed myself away.
Light passed through me,
I cast no shadow................
**I almost willed myself away...
When I read this I feel good because I remember the relief it brought me. I remember the feeling of being in the dark. I had heard others express it, but I had never experienced that kind of darkness. I thought of ways to "overcome it" None of those things seemed to work. Finally It came to me to allow myself to be immersed in this feeling, to totally be submerged in a way almost self-indulgent and then to release it. To let it go forever. I imagined all of the darkness flying away. It's never come back
Very insightful. Interestingly, in a book I recently read about romantic relationships, it stated that a very important part of a strong relationship is, "Romantic love is not based on the need for approval, but on the need for visibility." It fits with what you seemed to be lacking in your life.
Wow... that's a really dark time you were going through... It's good that you wrote it down... as it might have indirectly (subconsciously) provided some therapy - because you released it on paper.
Hope those dark times... are long gone...
thanks so much
Interesting, I envision you as a rock. But, people go through periods of being. I'm sorry you had a dark time, and I'm happy that you have recovered. I hope it is not recurring as your repeating that you, "almost became invisible," four times. I'm happy you can share; thanks. Be well.
People have always said that I"m strong. I think that going through this doesn't make me weak. It just makes me human.