Have you noticed this?
Somebody does something poopy, and so you tell them it was poopy. They then respond by getting offended and saying, “You don’t know me/You have no right to judge me.”
While is is true of you in general, you just now presented yourself as poopy. How are we supposed to know anything else if this is the ‘you’—that you're representin’ to the rest of us?
If you present yourself as self-righteous or egoistic and lash out at others… then the chances are really high that others are going to call you self-righteous and egoistic… what else would you expect? If you want to be known as something else, then present yourself as something else. For example, if you want to be known as “a nice person” … then BE a nice person (or at least present yourself that way).
The next time someone says something about 'you' that offends… don't bother telling them "who you really are," because that's not what you just showed them. You just showed them the ‘you’ they called you. If you want us to see the other ‘you,’ truth be told, we would love to see it, because we want to see the you that sparkles.
It could start with an apology. “Hey, you know what I just did, I showed you (the following comments refer to Ben only) the jackass, punk-ass, bitch-ass me… would you mind looking at my "I’m sorry and I'm working on this" me next?"
It's as much about presentation as anything else.