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Do you know any common sayings, expressions, axioms or proverbs that are blatantly false, often misused, understood or interpretted, that really don't make any sense or do any good until you've corrected them?

One of my top pet peeves is "could care less" to mean that you don't care. If you could care less than you do, then you obviously care some small amount at least. This saying should be "I couldn't care less" to accurately reflect that the zero sum of my given fucks could not decline any further.

My mom used to tell me all the time "blood is thicker than water" to mean "family is more important than girls/friends etc." A couple years ago I came across the origin of that saying, and it actually said "the blood of oath is thicker than the water of birth," clearly meaning the exact opposite. Funny how many generations of parents forgot a couple prepositional phrases and reversed the whole meaning in their favor.

Another saying I've always hated is "curiosity killed the cat" until I realized theres a second part: "but satisfaction brought her back." You're goddamned right it did, kittens.

Can you think of any more truisms that could be made substantially truthier with a little correction?

Wurlitzer 8 Dec 14
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11 comments

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2

"A watched pot never boils." Bullshit. If it never boils, the heat is too low, turn it up! If the heat is high enough, set a timer so you find out how long it takes and can get something else done while you wait, instead of whining about how long it takes to boil.

3

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Birds of a feather flock together, until the cat comes

Great minds think alike but fools rarely differ.

And my personal favorite... Jack of all trades, master of none but better than a master of one.

There they are!!

So if you're a bird get up very early, but if you're a worm sleep late!

@alliwant and if your a mouse only eat cheese if you have to crawl over/past another dead mouse

1

I always said “couldn’t care less”. My mom always made sure to correct us if we said “could care less” as kids. Weird.

I have nothing else to add but this is a fun conversation.

Now that's a good mom!

1

Stupid is as stupid does.
I'm too dumb to get it.

Well you see dave, condescending is when you explain the obvious fer someone, and jokes are always funnier after you explain em. ?

3

I before e except after c.

And in the UK, we do say I couldn't care less. 😉

2

I just saw a great (Tumblr, I think it was) post come across my FB feed (from Vellum and Vinyl, I think) that listed like all of these. BRB, lemme find it...

Can't find. All I can remember from it are "The blood of the convenant..." and "curiosity killed ...satisfaction brought it back"--but there were a metric ton of them--and the ensuing commentary that ends with a statement along the lines of, "It's almost like they all started out being about daring to be yourself and were neutered by the forces that want you to conform to society."

1

" Good things come to those who wait."
"Its all gone to the dogs."
" You'll feel better in the morning."

"Youll feel better in the morning" is a method of troubleshooting applied to humanity. "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

2

"You are no better then you should be", what the hell does that mean? Am I good or not good.....

What contexts do you usually hear it in? I could see that bein used in the context of learning a new skill, being frustrated. In that context a mentor might say that and I'd take it to mean my skill level is commensurate with my experience. I'm not any further ahead or farther behind than I should be by now and it'll come along with some more work. But if that's what they do mean by it, it would no doubt be more effective to flip it and say you're no worse than you should be. Although the Taoist in me could hear the same thing both ways. 🙂

If theyre talking about the nature of your goodness I get it quite a bit less. They must mean whatever flaws you have are understandable given the circumstances?

@Wurlitzer Usually when one does something that displeases someone.

@Jolanta hmmm in that case it's a lot more insulting lol I take it to mean "you fucked up but what did I expect" ??

I guess it could still be either theory dependin on tone and compassion.

2

"The exception proves the rule"
If there is an exception the rule is false and needs to be adjusted.
But originally this saying apparently had a different meaning as it is used today which was a little less wrong.

Dietl Level 7 Dec 14, 2018

Yeah the history of that one fascinates me too, what have you heard of it? Correct me if Im wrong but I was hearing someone explain that the saying came from spanish and in spanish the word for prove has a double meaning. In that context it meant to test it. So it's saying that when you hold up under exceptional circumstances you've been tested and proven. I think thats the angle I've heard, mas o menos, si o no?

I haven't heard the Spanish version. From what I know it comes from ancient rome where it meant that the existence of an exception implies that there is a rule. For instance if there is a rule that allows you to eat pork on sundays you can infer from that that there is a rule that forbids eating it on other days. Which is also fallacious but more understandable imo.

@Dietl yeah I think youre right that it was latin or italian but I also bet the word in italian or spanish has the same principle to it, romance languages being so similar. It was just a spanish speaking person that explained it but he also said that exceptions help define rules in this way. Theres some deeper more meaningful subtext that Im not remembering though because it made a lot more sense and blew my mind a little at the time.

5

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for a lifetime."

Total capitalist claptrap.

This presents poverty and scarcity as individual issues. They are social and political issues.

I ain't sayin I'm a communist but I been in the red all my life. I know lots of vocations, doesnt help if Im unable to find a fair wage from an employer that doesn't invade my bodily autonomy. I could take the saying literally n go fishin, I think I shall more often but not everyone has such bounty and nature available.

3

Thanks I had forgotten a great source of those haha. Love Carlin's wordplay.

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