Thank you so much

I've always thought celibacy is plain cruel. I'm Anglican myself, so don't have that problem. Thanks for your supportive words.

That's really interesting. The video was of a guy effectively destroying a bible gleefully. I was shocked yet kept watching. I think that's because my doubts are tending towards unbelief and dislike of what I've been trained to believe of the bible.
I'd be interested to know what you do in scorning it and if that is therapeutic or not, or whether it clouds thinking about the issues.

Personally, I don't do anything for myself. I just ignore it. It's when other people start saying that I should respect it that I inform them of just how WRONG the bible is about essentially EVERYTHING.

If it were possible I'd love to chat with you about this.

@Doubting Always open to discussion.

Thank you!

We have much in common, then. It would be good to chat with you at some point

@Doubting Thanks for that. There are at least a couple of others here who had a few more college religion classes than I did.

There are several causes: my sexuality, deep disillusionment with church and especially church people, intellectual doubts over the way I was taught to read the Bible, and finally my very surprising (to me) reaction to the video I saw and which I mention above.

@Doubting What is the reason for your disillusionment with the church? It's easy to be disillusioned with people who all tend to have different ideas about a subject, in this case interpretation of the bible and canon. Your intellectual doubts seem founded on these differences.

Have you already decided you are agnostic, but struggle with accepting your belief, because it goes against people who now trust you to have faith in God. What internal struggle will you have by continuing your current life? Will it make you cynical and unhappy?

Announcing a change of heart to your congregation and family will cause others to be unhappy with you. Are you ready for the consequences?

My doubts and the video I saw combined with my surprising reaction, very surprising to me anyway.

@Doubting can you post the video here?

@hippydog Yes, I could I suppose, though it's a little embarrassing to me as the young man in the video is a satanist. I stumbled on this video quite by accident but couldn't switch it off when he showed visually his contempt for Christianity's Bible. Is it appropriate to post it here?

@Doubting likely it's ok..

Ok then. It's not pornographic but it is utterly contemptuous of the Bible as you'll see. He does several things before it ends.
[xvideos.com]

@Doubting I honestly have no idea if you are trolling us or not..
There were videos directly below it that I would consider shocking..
But THAT is the video you find disturbing on that site?
I don't understand.

@Doubting what was you surprising reaction?

@hippydog You are being needlessly aggressive. I am not trolling at all. If you don't find it shocking, that's fine. I did. Extremely so. I've never seen a man deliberately tear up a bible with his feet and hands and then set fire to it.
If you want to discuss it, well and good, but coming to this site was very hard for me and you are not being very helpful

@hippydog My surprising reaction was not to turn the video off before it finished, and even to think what he did wasn't bad. You might think this is all small fry, but for someone in my shoes to think what he did is ok is to do a complete 180 deg turn.

@MissKathleen
Hey no name-calling now!

@MissKathleen
You are too kind. Thank you.

@MissKathleen
I do try, and I see that you do too. I very much appreciate it.