Agnostic.com

10 4

What is a telltale sign you are dealing with an INFJ?

One thing common to many INFJs is that they have a way of making you feel absolutely comfortable and at ease, so much that you find yourself telling them all sorts of things you didn't expect to. They listen well and encourage, however they rarely talk about themselves unless directly asked. If they do share an anecdote, it's for the purpose of relating to what you said…to continue building connection and make you feel like they understand (which they do!).

I've become aware in recent years of the INJF stare. This is supposedly a unique kind of eye contact that feels quite intimate, though it's really just the INJF getting a full read on you as they collect micro facial movements, body language, overall vibe. You may feel uncomfortable under their stare OR you may feel like you've been “seen” for the first time.

Seeker3CO 8 Dec 30
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

10 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Beware...they are awesome manipulators.

2

The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats, they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.

INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.
INFJ personality
Help Me Help You
INFJs indeed share a unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.

Martin Luther King
INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extraverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. INFJs take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days.

Live to Fight Another Day
Really though, it is most important for INFJs to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed. This becomes especially apparent when INFJs find themselves up against conflict and criticism – their sensitivity forces them to do everything they can to evade these seemingly personal attacks, but when the circumstances are unavoidable, they can fight back in highly irrational, unhelpful ways.

To INFJs, the world is a place full of inequity – but it doesn’t have to be. No other personality type is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. INFJs just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves, too.

2

INTJ PERSONALITY (“THE ARCHITECT&rdquo😉
It’s lonely at the top, and being one of the rarest and most strategically capable personality types, INTJs know this all too well. INTJs form just two percent of the population, and women of this personality type are especially rare, forming just 0.8% of the population – it is often a challenge for them to find like-minded individuals who are able to keep up with their relentless intellectualism and chess-like maneuvering. People with the INTJ personality type are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, amazingly curious, but they do not squander their energy.

Nothing Can Stop the Right Attitude From Achieving Its Goal
With a natural thirst for knowledge that shows itself early in life, INTJs are often given the title of “bookworm” as children. While this may be intended as an insult by their peers, they more than likely identify with it and are even proud of it, greatly enjoying their broad and deep body of knowledge. INTJs enjoy sharing what they know as well, confident in their mastery of their chosen subjects, but owing to their Intuitive 👎 and Judging (J) traits, they prefer to design and execute a brilliant plan within their field rather than share opinions on “uninteresting” distractions like gossip.

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

Harlan Ellison
A paradox to most observers, INTJs are able to live by glaring contradictions that nonetheless make perfect sense – at least from a purely rational perspective. For example, INTJs are simultaneously the most starry-eyed idealists and the bitterest of cynics, a seemingly impossible conflict. But this is because INTJ types tend to believe that with effort, intelligence and consideration, nothing is impossible, while at the same time they believe that people are too lazy, short-sighted or self-serving to actually achieve those fantastic results. Yet that cynical view of reality is unlikely to stop an interested INTJ from achieving a result they believe to be relevant.

@Seeker3CO the only part that was said by ellison (whom i adore -- i have met him, and i made him blush the first time i met him) was the enquoted part about opinions and ignorant. he never as far as i know said a thing about intjs or any other personality types. the last two posts (not yours) appear to be taken whole cloth from an article not written by, or having anything whatsoever to do with ellison apart from quoting that one thing he said, which you can find at [16personalities.com] . oh, ellison is used as an example of intj, but what has that got to do with what ellison himself thought? not a thing. i stand by what i have said about personality types: there are behaviors, not types. we are not so easily pegged. quite frankly, i think ellison would agree with me. i wish we could ask him. last year we could have.

g

@Seeker3CO glad! not sure everyone catches that.

g

I have taken the Myers-Briggs three times, many years apart each time, with the results as an INTJ at the extreme. I have always considered the INTJ personality type to describe me quite accurately. I don't connect with people easily. I immerse myself into my own projects instead.

1

I don't know who this INFJ person could be, but I would love to meet him! I'm curious.

He would get a lot of goofy micro facial expressions from me that he would probably crack up laughing at me. 😅

I'm an INTJ... I've never really read into compatibility with other types. I don't think it matters. I'm quite "different." I'll most likely meet the love of my life as I'm sitting in a nursing home many years from now.

@Seeker3CO I live a pretty good and comfortable life. That's what kind of love I want.

1

oh the briggs-meyers garbage? it IS garbage, you know.

g

@Seeker3CO that is gracious of you, and i am glad you recognize that i am not calling YOU garbage. i will add, as i think i meant to, that people do not have types. they have behaviors. they sometimes have disorders. types? no.

g

@genessa -- Agreed.

2

It's pretty interesting to me that I am an INFJ. If I tell someone I'm an introvert, they may not see it because I'm pretty outgoing. But then I need a lot of recharge time. My personal stories are almost always about trying to connect with someone, rather than getting attention for myself. And apparently, I do not hide my feelings of injustice well at all. People who are jerks to other people can tell right away that I know who they are. Without me saying a word.

1

There is low probability that a true INFJ actually exists. Human behavioral characteristics are on a continuum and that would mean that the 16 personality types offered up by the Briggs-Meyers would be in error by their very nature. Also, I'd like to point out that the descriptions of each type reads more like a horoscope that it does a carefully thought out scientific analysis.

@Seeker3CO -- As I said, the 'category' descriptions read like horoscopes. Let us suppose for a moment that an INFJ personality type exists, just for the sake of argument. We know from simple observation that over time a person changes in their behaviors. This happens to take the idea of type out of the realm of fixed ideas and says that, at best, an INFJ personality will exist for a brief time, then morph into another, and another, and so on. No one is static and consistent throughout his/her lifetime. So, you asked me what I think you who believe in this system of seeing oneself are, I would have to say either gullible or prone to beliefs without evidence -- perhaps both.

0

I don’t know if that could be right, after all the J is for judging.

I think you misunderstand the categories. It's not about being judgemental, it's about how information is organized.

@GinaKay Thanks.

3

I didn't think we took much notice of Myer-Briggs personality types anymore. I hate putting people in boxes. I think we are all on a continuum and can change depending on the situation.

I think that the Myer-Briggs personality types are always changing..as people are always changing.

1

Apparently this is me still trying to determine how everything else works with it but very interesting nonetheless

see if your horoscope has better news

@MsDemeanour No it just said that I would encounter a condescending individual.

@48thRonin I'm an INTJ! This is so ACCURATE!

@SleeplessInTexas It does explain a lot ??

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:255485
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.