I don't think I'm going to have any further problems, as it still takes all the courage I can summon to even talk to girls in the first place.

While I tend to believe most accusations of grossly unnappropriate behavior towards some simply because of the number of accusers, I also tend to be outraged at the potential for abuse by some women who might not be truthful, and I am still a believer in "due process". Case-in-point: Duke lacrosse team. Just sayin'.

I would Never blame a guy for respectfully asking fr coffee or a date....altho your parking lot scenario is iffy at best! But if I say no thank you, anything beyond that is inappropriate, period. Women have been raised to worry about other's feelings and anyone who takes advantage of that is a nasty piece of work!

Men have to deal with the stigma of being wrong during the 11 seconds of fame. It is true (at least from my point of view at 50 years old). "Treat others that you yourself would be treated" no longer seems relevant because of the #metoo.

Women are not here to appease men. If men feel threatened by #metoo, then perhaps there's a reason they feel that way. Approaching a woman in a parking lot while her hands are full and her children are around her is not at all a smart thing to do. What else is a woman supposed to think if a man she doesn't know approaches her in that situation? Most women would assume the guy has possible harm on his mind. Even if the woman was child-free, had no packages and was just walking to her car, being approached by a strange guy is not ok. There are times and places where guys can meet women, such as at a singles event, a meetup group, online dating, a bar or club. Guys don't need to approach women they don't know in parking lots, and the fact that this guy did would immediately set my radar off. If he can't find a date through other dating venues and feels the only way he can meet women is by approaching them in parking lots, that strongly suggests to me that he isn't a guy you want to spend a lot of time with. I'm glad his intentions were, essentially, innocent and he just wanted to ask you out for coffee. But it worries me that he felt the only way he'd have a chance at getting a date was through the shock factor of approaching a woman he doesn't know in a parking lot. To quote Canadian author Margaret Atwood, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." For the men: don't be that guy.

I think any man who's changed the way he interacts with women in the wake of Weinstein, Cosby, et al either doesn't understand the situation or is a piece of shit. However, I would try to be considerate when approaching a strange woman. It's understandable that anyone, especially a lone woman, would be on edge in the right (wrong) circumstances.

Did he ask you to GIVE him a cup of coffee, or to have one with you? If the former he may simply have had some bad experiences with people being threatened by (or just being rude to) a beggar. If the latter, maybe he was in the habit of approaching total strangers with no context with such offers and doesn't understand how that might be viewed with some suspicion. Either way he probably was socially inept and not entirely sure what he did wrong.

Since I don't see most men acting like the woman has a gun when introducing themselves, I conclude that this particular incident wasn't related to #metoo. In fact ... you say it was "at the time" when you were 30 or so, so it was probably before the #metoo phenomenon, right? I mean, that's less than a year old.

I am shy with this sort of thing and it's precisely because what you said. I'm afraid that if I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing it will end badly for me.

I think society is undergoing a much needed paradigm shift in how men and women interact on several different levels. Until we get it worked out, things are likely to be kind of uncomfortable, and a bit awkward for a while.
Btw, Hollywood is not the only place with the problem. It has existed everywhere, for a very long time. The #MeToo movement has been a long time coming, and it's not going anywhere. There have been too many people (mostly male, but some female) who have been getting away with their bullshit antics for far too long. It's going to take a minute to sort through all this bs. Don't blame women for men not knowing how, or being too scared, to approach a woman. That is not a valid argument, it's an excuse for not being able to communicate clearly and with confidence. Approaching women isn't the problem, it has never been the problem.
If some men and women can't handle the changes happening, that's on them. Would you prefer going back to the Victorian-era practices of courtship? Btw, those only worked for the upper classes. Regular people still met and courted the same way they always had.

Men need to understand that keeping your hands to yourself and your junk in your pants is the best way to make a good impression.

Wow. If ever I get back in the game I'm going to try that approach, "Stay calm. I mean you no harm."

Yes. It now seems best to have your attorney present before any romance commences

I do have insecurities partially because of the laws and being accused of something.

I had a woman on a dating site that I messaged and introduced myself and asked about flea markets in her town. She answered with just no so I asked about antique shops in the area. Got the answer back that if I didn't quit harassing her she'd report me.

I think #metoo is a crusade against men more than it is A platform for equality. A lot of those people were just asked out or complimented. I think speaking up is a great thing. I just don't feel safe approaching women anymore. I got pepper sprayed once for telling a woman that I liked her dress. I had to wait there, eyes burning until the cops came. They let her go even though I wanted to press assault charges. I never touched her, and all I said was "I like your dress, the color looks nice on you." That's what metoo and neofeminism has done to some people.

Some men overcompensate, for sure, but perhaps now may be the time for women to take the lead in the 'game' of relationships between the sexes? Must it always be that men are the pursuer, as if women were a trophy? Why can't we view predatory men as the insecure beasts that they are, while lauding aggressive behavior by women? I'm more than ready for the lionesses to do the hunting. And what straight male wouldn't appreciate the Mae West approach? "Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" or "I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."

All my life, if I see a woman who I would like to meet, I will approach her, apologize for my forwardness, and ask if I could make her acquaintance. I have never had any bad reactions in doing that and have met many women. Nothing ventured, nothing gained,

YES, THEY ARE AFRAID....Now, while some men are out there to harm you many more are not.

Women need to understand the difference between harassment and a compliment. In Latin America, for instance, to say to a lady "GOOD BYE, PRETTY..." is not perceived as harassment but as a compliment.

I sure do.

Simple fix: be the person you would want your child/sibling/parent to date. Problem solved.

It's not hard.

Isn't there just being yourself and body language?

This post has two distinctly different components. The second part deals with men and women who know each other or at least are aware of each other's identity. I cannot add anything to what has already been said.

As for the first part, you are very fortunate. I do not know how to put this any other way, but abduction from a parking lot is an all too common modus operandi for violent sexual predators. While attending college a classmate was abducted from a mall parking lot and murdered. Ted Bundy, one of the most infamous serial killers in recent history was a handsome, articulate, prelaw student. His M O. was putting a fake cast on one of his arms, asking a woman for assistance, and then abducting her in his vehicle. He did this numerous times in busy parking lots before he was apprehended. Always lock your car, always check the back seat, and always look around before you get in. It is better to be safe.

The argument is not all women are like this. But that is akin to saying " here put your hand into this basket full of snakes, and don't worry only one of them is venomous." Feminism and or metoo movements will remove the problem or interactions between the sexes, partly as result of feminism, the birthrate in the west is at a rate that will see it disappear of the face of the planet. And what will be left may not have quite the sympathetic view that is currently enjoyed by females in our culture. be careful what you wish for. Does anyone find it an oxymoron, that in a time when are under a constant barrage about female rights and freedoms the top selling book amongst women in the past 50 years is "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Lmao that is so weird, i don't think its that bad tbh, especially if you do it in a place where people usually go to try and find a date

We live in an age of professed equality , at least as a goal , & yet women still are under the impression that they are to be approached , & never the other way around . This is not the mentality of a mind that seeks to be equal , & yet , conflicting values persist . I'm at a loss for words , like that Jerry Sinefeld joke , where men are beeping their horns at strange women , that they would like to converse with , but are out of ideas , thus , they beep the horn , as if to ask , "Now what ?" "I'm out of ideas".
I don't beep my horn at strange women , but I have to admit , for the majority of my life , until about 20 years ago , I was out of ideas . As women age , they play fewer games , & are more assertive as to what they want in a partner , at least for the most part . . . They can maintain what they are shown & taught , to remain what they are shown & taught , as feminine , or they can be equal , & make the first move , at least from time to time .
But to answer your question , the new trend has encouraged them to do what they know , is , equal . It's that simple , & for guys like me , it's actually refreshing , to see the majority having to practice what they've been preaching since the 60's. Making the first move , should not be felt as uneffeminate . If it does , then you are dealing with the bonds of a gender roll that dates back to at least the 50's , if not beyond . SAD