Having a nasty relapse around relationships tonight. Why I’m not sleeping. I’ve been doing great: stages of grief, radical self-care, coming to good terms with things, it’s not me, it’s him, exercise, loving on myself hard. But tonight I went looking for the monkey wrench and I found her.
It’s ok. I’m not stalking her. She. ? Can. ? Have. ? His. ? Lying. ? Weak. ? Immature. ? Easily manipulated. ? Ass. ? And good luck to her.
But the surge in rage is physically palpable. And hurt. And feeling stupid for not knowing better even though I know this is all on him. I will be okay. I have just been so proud of how quickly I was moving past it and then I did this.
There were photos. Of them. Together. Facebook Official. Likes upon likes. Needles in my skin. I may have haha-ed one of the pics. I removed it once my dignity woke up. Then I blocked her everywhere. Now I’ve seen her I don’t have to ever do so again.
I’m a powerful, intelligent, reasonably attractive woman and I’m losing sleep over boys. Makes me want to scream and claw my face! ... His really. Ugh. Thank you. Just needed to push it out of my head. I’ll probably delete.
8
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Just remember that she won the sparkly turd, and no matter how glittery a turd is, it still a turd (there is no such thing as a character transplant). Good looking Facebook photos are not real life. You are free to live your life without contending with a liar or being the relationship police. Avoid future 'pain shopping', (everyone makes that mistake - forgive yourself and move on). Spend some time getting to know yourself before diving back in to the dating pool. Learn to spot red flags to avoid future turds. There are better days ahead!!!
LizBeth
Level 7
Jan 23, 2019
2
You brightened my day! I think I needed to touch the hand of the corpse so to speak. Feel that it’s dead.
Love really is the most beautiful and nastiest shit you'll ever know.
ActionBastard
Level 5
Jan 23, 2019
1
Letting go may help you. Personally I don't hate or rant on what an ex did. One believer told me this is why god is so kind to me. I do make exceptions if you are Cheeto or anything remotely close. People who have actually been in my life are those who have made me who I am today. Without the past relationship you have not learned or grown. I do often wish that things had a different outcome. Then I look back and see why they did not. I can find my part in the issue and see where I was wrong. I try but sometimes I can be wrong about something almost daily!
DenoPenno
Level 9
Jan 23, 2019
0
So sorry to hear you feel that way. While you cannot and should not control how you feel, you can put them to good use and I think you did the right thing to distance yourself from the situation. Breath and do not be hard on yourself. Love yourself, you are your #1 cheerleader. Someone I am sure will recognize that. When you are, you smile more, you are more bubbly and it naturally spills over to others.
AlexRam
Level 7
Jan 23, 2019
1
I hear your frustration. Good decision to block her. how about blocking him also? Or taking a break from facebook?
Consider exercise, as tough as you can take it: weights, TRX, boxing—something to engage your brain while you release pent up energy.
And Mindfulness Meditation may help. Read about sitting with emotions and exploring them
without judgment.
Good luck!
UUNJ
Level 8
Jan 23, 2019
1
He’s blocked in social media, but not on my phone yet. Partly because the transcript of our texts proves things did not go down how he said they did and partly because if he ever were to reach out again for good or ill, I really want to be able to say, “No, thanks.” I know I need to let that part go. Fuck! Am I fifteen?!
UUNJ:
@brainyactress Just screen shot the thread. No need to keep it active.
Just breath deep. take a chill pill. Go back to the beginning of your first paragraph. You are you, nothing can change that. And that's good. There's always monkey wrenches, but it's how you use them to be a better you that matters.
Lop-Eared-Mule
Level 7
Jan 23, 2019
1
Enjoy being online again!
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