Very disappointed lately. There have been 3 times now I have had the beginning of a meaningful conversation with a lady to end up not going well. All over religion of course. After a bit it is asked and I tell them I am an Atheist and the response has been almost identical. Two told me I wasn't ready yet and I replied that at one time I did have faith but after deep thought and research I decided that I don't believe there is a god. So after some terse words on there part and my calm demeanor (which I believe disjointed them) they took of in a huff. The third after my statement and her rebuttal started cursing me out and saying I am going to hell. So going into the nursing field I do believe that others with a more scientific mind would be able to strike up a better conversation.
I am to the point where I don't want to date anyone who "believes in" gods, unicorns, bigfoot, the loc ness monster, ghosts, angel numbers, zodiak signs, floating spirit shit, etc. I don't care if they just talk about this stuff. Like any other topic, it can be interesting but believing fake, made up stuff is real? Pleeeeease..Ugh.
I also don't want to date or converse with fortune tellers, folks who believe vaccinations cause autism, flat earthers, climate deniers and the like. They just make me laugh at them and it never ends well..... waste of my time.
Then there are the "over-reactors" for example you say, "What a nice day out today" and they reply, "Why are you saying that? Are you trying to show me up or make me mad? What's your point?" And they try to bait you into a fight. They like to make the excuse that they are "sensitive." Most of us are, but we know a nice day when I see one... sucker!
I also don't want to date control freaks who tell you what you need to do any time you talk about anything. ...and of course, if you don't listen to them they get all twisted. They refuse to just let you live your life without interceding in some way. You know, the FIX IT FOLKS.
So yes... with all this annoying stuff going on I will guess that many people have a manners problem. They just can't "play nice" and stop making crap up to feel good...(attention need maybe?) They don't know how to listen? Religious people who fall apart easily during conversations just fall into these types.
So I don't know what to tell you. It seems to be getting worst because now we have folks who will vote for known pussie grabbers which tells me they are okay with it! Who knows?!?!?! Who is left to date?
You are certainly not alone. It's happening to so many of us. This is all over and beyond the more "normal" reasons a relationship doesn't work out like distance or compatibility issues.
Thanks for letting me rant a little! I feel your pain!
i try to speak to people within their own bubble if necessary, but it doesn't always work out.
a long, long time ago, when i worked for the department of justice, using a mag card ii word processor, my boss had some stuff to which he needed access that was only available on the mag tape, which was before my time. he hired an employee named dorothy to work on that machine, and she was a weird one, always cranky, always complaining about obscure medical ailments.
one day in wintertime i heard a chanukah song on the radio. i NEVER hear anything but christmas stuff in the winter, so i was really tickled, and i was smiling when i came in to work. dorothy asked me why i was smiling (i mean, i am a pretty friendly person, but i don't remember ever seeing dorothy smile, so maybe it was an alien facial expression to her). i told her about hearing the chanukah song. she frowned. "if you don't believe in jesus christ, what have you got to sing about?" she asked me.
this is where speaking within the other party's bubble comes in. "his father?" i asked. (i had already been an atheist for a decade, being in my mid-20s by then, but trust me, this wasn't the moment to yell "there is no god!" ) she frowned more deeply, not knowing what i meant, so i added, "you know... god?" now she looked positively pissed off.
"well," she declared, "the catholics have been suffering a lot longer than the jews anyway!" with that she huffed off.
think i should've brought up atheism at that point? it was none of her business anyway. i'm not out to convince folks there are no gods. i'd rather not get beaten up over it, though. i thought she was ridiculous and not worth any more effort on my part. i attempted to answer her questions. i'd have answered more had she asked them. i'm pretty easygoing. i still like chanukah songs, too.
It would be an interesting experiment to see if it made any real difference if you avoided the loaded word "atheist". I think you'd be less likely to grow a second head or third eye from their perspective. On the other hand they might mistake you for a "mark" to be pursued and converted.
Ironic that the one lady cursed and hurled hellthreat ... while you remained calm and polite. I'm sure she didn't notice the absurdity of that. Or if she did, it only pissed her off more.
That can be very discouraging. After a great deal of similar encounters, I've learned to deal with situations like that better. Sometimes, though, people are unreasonable no matter what. I should note that I find lying helpful in cases where I know that people can't handle what I have to say. I figure it's perfectly fine if the other person is making it difficult to tell the truth.
I don't think you will find a higher percentage of non-believers in the nursing field. It is a care field. Which means the main motivator for many people to be a nurse is the care of others. That fact alone I think tends to bring in more believers than deniers. ( I could be wrong but...)
I just say that I've never been spoken to by any God, but I don't rule out the possibility. When morality inevitably comes up, talk about empathy, intelligence, our socially cooperative nature, & morality in animals.
Mostly I let women talk. Everybody loves talking about themselves, & this gives you the chance to figure out whether you actually like them. Remember, stupidity travels at the speed of sound!
I highly approve of what Kauva said about the limbic system & beliefs, to which I would add that I've found Street Epistemology or Socratic Discourse to be incredibly helpful in life!
keep in mind that the subject you're breaching is close to the hearts of these people. so much so in fact that it threatens their personal security. this often sets the limbic system into gear and the pre-frontal cortext isn't even engaged. so all you get are those same thoughts gaining adrenaline and emo momentum from the cerebrum with no chance of the PFC's executive control and reasoning section becoming involved. the limbic short circuits it. challenging long-held beliefs is one of the 4 classic anger triggers.