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I felt a bit weird writing out my biography last night. As much as I know about myself I don't really think much about putting it into words.

I laughed when I saw that I was "level 1". If there is anything that describes how I feel as a single person it would be that I definitely feel like a "Level 1" or a beginner at being single. I have no clue what is going on.

After being married for 28 years, the last 3 of that being only on paper, I hadn't had a significant other in a long while. It's taken a minute to get to the point of signing up here. I've known about it, just didn't take the time or really feel like it.

I do like the fact that I can find and meet other non-believers who I may have not met in the local Freethought circles.

I'm currently in a state of mind that is making my online atheist presence less of an importance to me. I've had friends who were involved heavily in the atheist movement and podcasts, etc., that got to a point where making their atheism known was unimportant and even cumbersome. I didn't understand it, but now I think I do. I'm in the same boat now. Still 100% an atheist and plan on remaining unapologetic about that fact, just don't need or want to worry about it too much. I was formerly apathetic about religion. I could never fully be that again, but I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard.

But if anyone has any tips on "how to be single" I am definitely in need. So far I've just been continuing to breathe and living life a day at a time.

By Vinc33
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16 comments

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1

Hi Vince, wow I felt every word of what you wrote. I struggled with single too. I had never been single from age 16 years. I had never done anything for myself. I cooked, cleaned, went to work, cared for the children. Then overnight...I was dumped and single. I left...went to my Dads and licked my wounds. My best friend had just died prior to that and it was an emotional roller coaster. Then I did things for me. It was weird at first. I bought a hairbrush. Wow...then started a bank account. My bank manager was amazing. He is muslim so when he spilt he left his faith too. We became friends. He showed me how to manage my pennies and still live well. I had my car, my profession and my determination to suceed. My kids initially abandoned me but slowly they have returned (except my daughter).
Its so hard, you literally feel like you have a limb ripped off. I listened to soppy songs and started to remember me.
There is no level or expertise to singledom, just be kind (and if you can kind to your ex). Just be open to being loved again. You are safe here and really welcome. I am sending you a big hug from UK.

Amisja Level 8 Mar 3, 2019
1

"How to be single"

I'm an expert. I've been single for a LONG time. I've dated. I had a FWB. I had semi-relationship that I desperately wanted to turn into a real relationship, but he isn't in the same place...ugh...it HURT. That's recent...still healing.

Anyway,I'm at the place where I WON'T settle. I would rather stay single than be with someone just to fill that spot....void. It is a void in my life, but I've seen to many people just fill that void with any person only to be left heartbroken or abused. I'm strong enough to know what I want, and what I want is not unrealistic.

Cabsmom Level 7 Mar 3, 2019
1

Hello Vince! Your message resonated with me... Surviving a divorce is a challenge, but it seems that it becomes easier and easier with the passage of time. As for myself? I was married for 37 years, and dated for a few years before marrying - yes, I was a child bride - so it seems that my entire adult life was as his partner. As the marriage deteriorated towards the end I found ways to take care of myself, but I have always been independent and able to entertain myself. I traveled alone or with girlfriends even while married, so transitioning to doing it as a single person was not that difficult.

Some days were more difficult than others, but I think I emerged from a bit of a self-created cocoon, and rejoined the world through friends, family, clubs, and hobbies. I recently joined a women's RV-ing group, and have attended a few functions with and without the travel trailer. I joined Meet-up, and attended a few functions, and plan on attending another of which I just became aware (a freedom from religion group). I show dogs, so I've tried to get back to the dog shows. I love to travel, so have done that by myself, with family, and with friends. You don't have to buy a travel trailer, but perhaps find a way to get out of your comfort zone!

Mostly I would gently urge you to get out of the house, find a place to go, a group to join (I also belong to OMSI, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, and I attend different functions, alone, with family, or I'll invite a friend) - perhaps a local historical society or garden club. If you have a particular set of skills, find a group that would welcome your abilities, and put you to work!

Keep on breathing, it really does get easier with every passing day!! <hugs>

Rustee Level 7 Feb 26, 2019
1

Welcome and congratulations on making a huge life transition.

UUNJ Level 8 Feb 13, 2019
2

One day at a time.. been there. Take as many days as you need to rediscover how joyous life can be. If you need a good chat, you’ll definitely find that here.

Marz Level 7 Feb 7, 2019
2

Welcome fellow Texan. This is the funnest place to put your head. ....your service to your community is, I'm sure appreciated, as well as self graitifying.

1

Welcome! Good advice from the other posters here. I don't see this as a dating site any more; there really isn't enough of a pool of available people yet. But I love the community. Lots of funny, smart, like-minded people.

GinaKay Level 7 Jan 30, 2019
2

I found this website after losing my wife of 27 years to lung cancer,saw an ad on facebook and decided to see what it was about,been here since May,2018,interact,create thought provoking posts when you are high enough in the ratings list.

Mike1947 Level 7 Jan 30, 2019
5

Hello and welcome. Just engage a bit, the points add up quickly. You’ll be able to join different groups that meet your interests.

3

I feel your pain, if past passion.. Never mind the ‘levels,’ they’re as much an indicator of addiction as acceptance.

I’d put off joining, too ..back then. A dating site? It’s more of a community, to me. I fall in love too easy ..so it’s likely a good thing there’s mountain ranges & oceans between me and some of these solid women smile001.gif

OK, you’re in TX (yuck?). I’m from Oregon, now on the Blue Ridge plateau of Virginia. Had I not found anything around here, plans were to shoot through TX toward the SW ..and CA. But I’ve found a home, after 29 + 1 years ‘married/ with.’

Married at 22, she was 19 ...we were children. In fact, we’ve unmarried ‘children’ older than that (and good for them!) Never got good at ‘dating,’ which may be (and having listened to a bunch of friends) what got me into a botched romance with a borderline personality disordered woman. In a way, I’m still shellshocked, or gunshy smile005.gif

Just took on a new part time job, as I ease toward retirement. It’s got a lot of potential for ‘finding someone,’ far more than the solitary stuff I’d been doing. Seems anyone in my village with all their teeth, in decent shape, doesn't smoke and isn’t covered in whiskers … is a near instant attraction to it’s female residents.

But, having lived alone now for ..3 years, it’s addictive. So she’s gonna have to fall onto my arms and it’s gonna have to be love at first sight, I’m afraid. There’s single men & woman of my age all over the place though, all grumbling ..yet constantly checking out opportunities..

Stick around. There are disappointingly few Active (even former) Atheists around, though.. most folks have their heads on straight … and maybe those like ourselves can take pride in having blazed enough trail they feel safe just being Atheists (Agnostics occasionally peek out), and no need to be active - let alone militant. Me, I’ll miss the Murray O’Hair’s forever, having met & corresponded some.

Varn Level 8 Jan 30, 2019
3

Welcome to the community. We all start at 1. You already made it to 2!

Dandewine Level 7 Jan 30, 2019
2

Welcome to the site. As others have pointed out, there are many groups here whether you are single and looking for a coffee group or animal lover group, I think just about everything is here. Being single can be a challenge but it's where we find ourselves at the present moment. I think I saw you live in the Dallas area? Quite a big city and Metropolitan area as you well know, not sure how many athiests and agnostics there are running around - sounds like you might have a better handle on that. Anyway, have fun and kick the tires.

6

Hello and welcome. The best piece of advice I received when joining was to look at the site as kind of a Facebook for atheists. There’s lots of community and it’s not just for dating. I’m in Minnesota and there aren’t many dating prospects in my area. However I love the groups and conversations

4

Best tip on being single or being anything, is to love yourself. Do that first, then go from there.

3

Welcome. The "level" indicator simply indicates how active you are here with posting and replying to stuff. There are numerous singles & dating groups for you to join... as well as groups on diverse subjects and interests. Look around!
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