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I'm seeking the truth. Am I gonna have a hard time finding a man who will except the fact that I have a disabled son at home with me. I've had my profile on several dating sites and every time I mention my son they stop texting me. I don't know if that's the reason , maybe I'm just very sensitive and protective of my son

Sharkymama 6 Feb 1
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Ohh am sorry to hear that, I'm a lesbian ,i wish am a man to prove all the men u met in the past wrong, but do u mind to be a friend with me?I'm a lesbian.

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If they act like that, they weren't worth your time !

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2 years ago a woman appeared on the island and she had a disabled son. He had shortened arms (to his waist) and was austistic and had lots of food issues. He was also very artistic and wanted to be independent I asked myself the question, could love such a person and it was the usual answer. It depends.It might have worked if it was a part-time relationship with me helping out to a point. Like so many issues on this site it is not always a simple answer. We became friends but there were too many other differences to make it go any further. She has since moved to the big island (Orcas) and we don't see each other.

@Sharkymama Hopes these comments help you in this situation. It must be difficult. So often, when I feel a little down, I remind myself of how hard others have it.
I had a bike accident last summer and messed up my left hand. It is a slow healing process and I have to do a lot of exercises. One day, while waiting in the ferry terminal, I was doing some exercise and in walked a guy missing the lower portion of his left arm. It really put things in perspective.

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Ok I can’t speak for most men but for me personally it would be a no ( if was single but I’m not ) mainly because whenever there’s a special needs anything involved that person, animal, career, hobby or mental disorder can and will be the focus of the relationship.

And I once again speaking for myself wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with the special need but instead with the person who is seeking the relationship.

And I know that your son is probably a great kid but there’s an automatic expectation that’s being laid upon your potential relationship.

Which is you have to be accepting of my kid, our life and all of the potentially bad shit that can come with it and once again speaking for myself I would either be afraid of failure, rejection by you if your child was to reject me and a complete lifestyle change in the form of we couldn’t do certain activities due to your child’s abilities or limitations.

But at the same time I’d be leery of anyone who is overexcited to be involved with you and your child because that person’s intentions might be anything but pure.

I do feel for you and I hope that you will find that someone but until then I’d be very upfront with these men as to your intentions as well as what level of relationship you expect them to have with you and your child.

@Sharkymama True Love is accidental.
Just focus on the necessary and one day it might very well cross your path and then your concerns won’t matter because that person will already be prepared for you.

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It takes a special person to be the parent of a special needs child. Be proud of that fact.

@Sharkymama we all need to at times. I’m sure you do an amazing job

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Hard time finding a man . . . . I am going to guess that really depends on many factors such as:
your standards for an acceptable man,
your fiscal/employment standing,
your intellectual and physical attributes,
location (are you in an area that has a great population?) . . . . the list goes on. . .

I don't have a definitive answer for you question but I have heard (from several women looking for an upgrade) that most men don't want women with (able or disabled) children.

Good luck.

@Sharkymama As my standards for a date demand a rational (not theistic) person, and I live in a darkened (theistic) landscape, I have no expectation of finding a significant other. Many live good lives without a significant other and I know many who suffer or have suffered with less then worthy partners. I anticipate no change in my status of never being married and this is not an issue I pay any heed towards.

@Sharkymama I believe most men are highly over rated.

3

Worked with special ed students.. Meeting their parents was always a treat. They were real, no shit. Life dealt them a tuff hand, and they were dealing with it. Honestly, knowing ‘we got to send the kids home’ often got us through the day.

But if anyone wants a no-nonsense, rock-solid human being ..no longer harboring the bullshit of religion ..you’re where to look. Personally, I could assure any suitor, they’d come to love your child.. There are some I’ll miss forever. They do their best, and they, too, are no shit.

..I’m tuning into an old man, with grown children, but encourage you to remain solid. If nothing else, your situation is a test only the best can pass ~

Varn Level 8 Feb 1, 2019

@Sharkymama One of few men in our program ..I can’t forget one dad respectfully taking me aside, needing to know that I’d ‘look out for his son.’ That exchange said volumes about both of us. I did ..he had go-getter kid, but I was a dad, too ~

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Some of us can see through all that. Like how you must be an amazing person to choose the life of your son as supremely important. That also takes courage. Hang in there!!

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Are you mentioning in your profile that you are a parent? That's important. Some guys don't want any kids around, but others, like single dads, may welcome the idea. Would it be weird to mention that your son is disabled in your profile? You might find that a father of a disabled child would text you...

My partner's son is autistic & he's hoping to get custody of him. I've never met the little boy & I hope I'm up to the challenge... Wish me luck & I'll wish you luck!

Carin Level 8 Feb 1, 2019
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