Nah the rapture happened on 17 November 2006. Anybody reading this, we missed it, thank heavens. Can’t think of much worse than living for ever with those sanctimonious creeps. Bring on the ashes and stardust. Return to the earth where we belong!

What'd we tell you the first time bro?

GG no re

I'm here and this time I am female! (Well my grandpa thought I was anyway!)

Hah! If Jesus turned up and started talking about the meek, the poor, the down trodden, the powerless, and the subjugated, as per the supposed myth about him, the right wingers, conservatives, and reactionaries of the world, including Christians, would label him a leftie, a socialist, a commie, and a liberal with crazy notions and ideas. The disconnect between Christians, and their politics and economics, and the supposed myth of their core historical 'radical' figure always gets me. The last thing most Christians want is a real Jesus turning up. Since he almost certainly never existed, or if he did, in some form, he most certainly died, as in gone and ain't coming back, like all deceased people, there's no chance of that.

"Second coming", tee hee!

Funny you should say that. I have a client who believes he is Jesus returned. You could meet him, have a round of golf with him and think he was a lovely genuine young man. But then out of the blue he lets you in on the secret that he is actually Jesus awaiting directions from god to take people to heaven. I can see how people get take in by religion. This guy would pass any lie detector test because he totally believes his delusions, just like Moses, Jonah Noah Jesus, etc etc.They are utterly truthful people. If my guy had a bit more charisma he could start a cult.

If he were really Jesus, he'd Houdini out of that straight jacket in seconds and walk right out of there whether the doors are locked or not. And all the doctors, nurses, and orderlies would follow him out singing his praises. If that doesn't happen, he couldn't possibly really be the Jesus we've heard so much about.